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Is this a phase or do we need to bite the bullet and let the crying begin!?

18 replies

bodiddly · 25/04/2007 20:05

My ds is 2.2 and from about 6 months old up to about a 4/6 weeks ago he has been put in his cot awake and has gone off to sleep on his own quite happily after a few minutes of chattering away to himself. But no more! He was pretty ill for a week or so and now refuses to go to bed on his own. Unfortunately my dp has now got into the habit of staying with him until he goes to sleep and I am afraid that this is more than a phase and that perhaps we have to just let him cry it out. He is a very very strong willed child and doesnt just cry .. he gets full on hysterics and makes himself sick pretty quickly if left to cry. Does anyone have any advice or do you think we just have to leave him to it? Im torn largely because my dp doesnt seem to mind sitting with him of an evening until he dozes off and I hate the idea of night after night of hours and hours of screaming but I think it is probably going to create more problems in the long run as he is already starting to wake up early and not able to settle himself!

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beansprout · 25/04/2007 20:09

I would say that he can settle himself, but he doesn't want to. He (understandably) prefers daddy to stay with him.

Rather than going for CC, how about dad gradually withdrawing? We have done this. One night sit next to the cot, the next stand next to it, the next a little further away and so on. What also works well with ds is letting him know we are still around by basically making no attempt to be quiet and leaving his door open. I couldn't go to sleep like that but he seems to like it.

bodiddly · 25/04/2007 20:23

I thought about that beansprout but although he seems tired he is taking about half an hour or more to go to sleep and Im not sure dp would like hovering in the doorway for that length of time! Im not sure whether to put him down later or whether that will just make him over-tired. He is clingy during the day when he is home from nursery and has to be in the same room as us at the very least .. I think he genuinely hates being on his own. That and he is playing us!

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bodiddly · 25/04/2007 21:03

does anyone else have an idea?

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pesme · 25/04/2007 21:12

its a phase. dd did this for a while. i think we tried a combination of getting her really really tired during the day - reducing the nap - lots of exercise. and just kept putting her back to bed. dh just said 'it was a living hell' which isn't helpful but she now goes down like a dream and sleeps really well. good luck.

bodiddly · 25/04/2007 21:14

pesme .. did you go along with it and sit with her or did you leave her to cry?

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bodiddly · 25/04/2007 21:15

he is still in his cot for now and we are keen to get this resolved before he goes into his new bed!

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SittingBull · 25/04/2007 21:19

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bodiddly · 25/04/2007 21:25

I wonder whether that would work with us Sittingbull ... our ds goes into his cot ok but the second you walk out of the door he starts crying .... and stops when you go back in ...

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SittingBull · 25/04/2007 21:33

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bodiddly · 25/04/2007 21:38

ok, I think I am going to give your method a try Sittingbull ... how long did you stay with your ds for each time? Did you go in and comfort him or just go in so he could see you and then wait for him to stop crying on his own before leaving.

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SittingBull · 25/04/2007 21:46

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elijen · 25/04/2007 21:48

Hi Bodiddly

My daughter did exactly the same when she turned 2. It is a phase which you can ride out with determination. We did sitting with her until she went to sleep but 2hrs later and I was losing the will to live! We did the leave the room gradually - never made it to the landing!! In the end we did controlled crying. We would go in three times to see if she was ok. On the third time we would say go to sleep in a firm voice and say we are not comming back in. Very harsh but it worked and she is now back to going to sleep on her own. Now if I could only get her 8mth old sister to do the same but thats another story....
Good luck and always say the mantra I am the mummy I am in control!!!!!

bodiddly · 25/04/2007 21:58

has anyone tried story tapes for their dcs at this age? I wonder whether this would help him settle

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elijen · 25/04/2007 22:01

I would hold back on the tapes as it would probably give too much simulation - you might never get him to sleep. I have a friend who let her children watch dvds in bed at bedtime - the children never went to sleep before 10pm and were up and down!!!

SittingBull · 27/04/2007 07:08

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seeker · 27/04/2007 07:26

I am a firm believer in story tapes, but I think the key is not to let them listen to new ones - they have to be very familiar. My dd is now 11, and she has a Barefoot Books folk tales cd that she got for her 2nd birthday and that she listened to every night for about 5 years! She has it on her Ipod now, and if she can't sleep she still listens to it now. Works like magic. Ds has a Thomas tape that he has had for a year now.

bodiddly · 27/04/2007 20:52

Hi, my dp isnt keen to start trying to tackle this until Monday for some strange reason. I wouldve thought the weekend was the best time but I have been overruled on this occasion and seeing as he has to work this weekend I am happy to go with it. Cant say I am looking forward to it though .. I can see him screaming the whole night long!

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SittingBull · 28/04/2007 06:28

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