Inadvertently might have done the exact wrong thing to get my baby to sleep and I'm now reaping the consequences... any advice?!

[MotherofKitties]

Hi all,

I have a 5 month old DD who won’t go to sleep without a bottle in her mouth and I’ve been told that I’m doing exactly the wrong thing by doing this...!

She’s my first and I’ve just been focusing on getting her to sleep and to stay asleep as she doesn’t sleep through (usually sleeps 2-4 hours at a time); we have a set bedtime routine of a bottle, bath time and then bed, where she falls asleep with the bottle in her mouth (used to combo feed but she’ll only take a bottle now).

We do tend to leave it in there (supervised) until it falls out or she’s in a deep enough sleep for her not to realise we’ve taken it out of her mouth - there’s never been a time where we’ve been able to get her to sleep without ‘feeding her to sleep’ and she won’t take a pacifier.

To be honest it hadn’t even occurred to me that I might be setting a difficult precedent by settling her down with a bottle, but I’ve been told it’s bad for her teeth (she hasn’t got any yet), and I’m making a rod for my own back by having her associate sleep with having a bottle!

First of all, is now the right time to try and sort it out or is she too young to try and sleep train? Has anyone been in a similar situation and used any techniques that worked? Like I said she’s my first so I’d appreciate any advice on this! Xx

My 10 month old still goes to sleep with a bottle, when it’s empty I swap it for a dummy and then pop her in the cot.

Ignore ignore ignore.

If it isn't a problem for you, and it's working for her, then stick with it.

My experience with babies is that they work these things out on their own if you let them. One day she will just decide to let go of the bottle and fall asleep. Or during teething it will no longer be comfortable and she will stop. Or she will start taking a dummy....or a million other ways she could stop.

People just loooooves to tell you that what you are doing is wrong, but if you are happy and so is she, then you are doing it right imo.

Herculesfan that's reassuring to hear!

I suppose the immediate problem we have is that if she's in anything other than a deep sleep, the moment the bottle is out of her mouth she starts to stir and wakes up, and having the bottle back in her mouth is the only thing that settled her again.

I have tried a pacifier a few times but she sucks on it a couple of times, stops, and then it falls out and then we have the same problem where she wakes up again.

I didn't realise there was a negative link between bottles/dummies etc with their developing teeth either, so I just want to make sure Im doing the right thing, but I don't know if this is an issue I need to address, what the best way is to get my DD out of this habit, or if she's too young to change her routine... who knew you had to worry about their sleep other than whether they were getting enough of it?!

Sorry, cross post hippy!

That's really reassuring to hear! Just when I think I've got a hang of things/getting into a routine I have a HV or another mum saying we're doing the exact wrong thing to promote a regular and healthy sleep pattern... she's a happy and healthy baby, but when I looked into it and there's various articles online saying it can affect teeth development and cause a negative sleep association I started to panic!

Personally, I find HV completely useless. They all have different opinions and try to push them onto new mum's as if they are gospel.

The best advise is to go with your instincts and trust that your baby knows best and let her lead the way.

the teething pain was a real issue for mine but i just bought a teething glove and put it on her hand and it worked like a charm and relieved her pain and constant crying. That's the only thing that pops to mind. Hope it helps!

Ohh thanks for the suggestion of the teething glove, I'll have a look into that!

You do need to stop once she gets teeth as you will need to clean her teeth between milk and bed.
Also babies do tend to sleep better if they can get themselves to sleep. Often a baby who is fed (or rocked, bounced etc) to sleep will need the same thing to get back to sleep at each night waking. In the long term you probably do want to work towards going into the cot drowsy but awake.
But if it works for you currently, and teeth yet, it isn't 'wrong'.

@marcine...do you think mum's of babies that fees throughout the night still and have teeth get up and brush them after every feed?! I'm sorry but that's nonsense.

What's nonsense

The problem with letting them fall asleep on the bottle all the time is that they will need the bottle every time they wake to get back to sleep. And as she gets older and has teeth it is bad for them as the milk pools around the teeth and can cause cavities. We did end up having a bottle and then doing teeth before sleep.

@marcine...so when my DD wakes for a feed multiple times during the night (she has 4 teeth) I should also be brushing her teeth 3 or 4 times a night?!

Are you bf or ff? Bf has less effect on teeth than formula

Its not the law that you have to brush your child's teeth, so I guess you can do whatever you like Hippy

Ideally though, teeth get brushed after milk at bedtime, water only at night and off bottles completely at 12 months. Breastfeeding at night is less damaging than bottle feeding (I think the jury is still out on how much of a difference there is), but personally once mine had teeth I brushed them before bed, and only offered water in the night from 8/9 months.

Have you tried different brands of dummies? For example my DD was spit out an avent dummy but not a MAM one. I don't think what you are doing is that wrong though, it would just be easier long term if she did take a dummy. I wouldn't worry about teeth too much at this point in time.

@marcine...and I suppose every baby fits into that strict criteria do they?

Sounds like the utter tripe that comes out of a HV mouth.

Hippy - you seem quite upset about this but honestly I have no opinion about what you should do with your baby. There is best practice/advice about how to look after babies' teeth and bottles of milk without brushing teeth isn't ideal. Maybe speak to your dentist if you are worried?

Pacifers / bottles are good from a cot death perspective though, right? Just do whatever works.

@marcine...I'm quite happy with my daughters teeth thank you, what upsets me is when other mums find yet another "rule" for us all to follow, that only applies to their own circumstances.

I suppose your babies being accepting of only water from 8 months was down to your miraculous parenting techniques, and not just sheer luck of the draw.

I feel for the poor mum's who read your advice with babies who are still feeding 2 hourly who will now think they need to also get up and brush their teeth.

@marcine no offence but there is no way I wouldn’t offer a hungry 9 month old milk at night just because they had brushed their teeth.

Hippy, it's not rules, it's advice. There's lots of advice available on things like weaning, safe sleeping and teeth care that parents are absolutely free to follow or discard. Personally, teeth care is something that is important to me, but for eg I wasn't bothered about the advice to limit screen time to 30 minutes a day.
Sharing what I did with my children was not a criticism of what you do with yours.

Raving, i agree.

@marcine...so assuming you hadn't forced night weaning on them...and they still fed frequently in the night like many babies do, your saying you would also be getting up and brushing their teeth multiple times a night?

Wow, I wish we could all be a perfect parent like you.

Why are you so aggressive about this Hippy . I knew bf vs ff could get heated but I didn't realise anyone could get some angry about teeth brushing advice!