What am I doing wrong

[Lolly17]

Seriously.

Everyone I speak to has angel babies who have slept 12 hours a night from being 12 weeks old.

I have a 6 month old who wakes 3 times a night. - last night he was up about 6 times for milk to go back to sleep!!

Am I a bad mother? What am I doing wrong? Why is it my child?

You are not the only one. My 9 month old wakes once or twice in the night. Also, some people lie.

3 times a night for a 6 month old sounds very normal! Neither of mine slept through till 18 months (and then it was only once or twice a week as long as they didn't have a cold or were teething!)

Is your baby getting enough milk during the day? If so, it shouldn't need 6x feeds during the night. It sounds like feeding is a crutch to sleep I.e the baby can only get itself to sleep by feeding. This is a habit that needs to be broken if you want to have a full nights sleep as babies wake lots during the night and go through lots of short sleep cycles. A baby who relies on its mother to feed them back to sleep is not going to learn to self soothe if you keep feeding him/her every time. Self soothing is an important part of sleep training. It's a tough process. Read up on it and be very persistent in putting it into practice. Be prepared to take a week or two to crack it. It takes patience and persistence. Good luck.

Oh my, you are SO not doing anything wrong and you definitely are not a bad mother!! Not at all.

Ime, and I have bitter bitter horrific zero sleep experience with my first child and did almost the same thing with my second and had totally different children with different sleep habits.

I believe that at the 5/6 month Mark babies have growth spurts which mean that they need more food to fuel this so horribly normal.
All u do is power through, do you have any help or support with your baby?

Any advice would be amazing. Thank you.

(All times approx)
I tried BF but he was interested so he has Aptamil

So, my son normally wakes between 6-6:30.

Welcome downstairs after changing him etc and he likes to play for a bit, before feeding. He's not interested in food as soon as he wakes.

At about 8am, we give him baby porridge (cow and gate). Then at around 9, he has his first bottle of the day (7oz - doesn't always finish it) and drifts off into a nap for about an hour to an hour and a half.

11am - 7oz bottle
2pm - bottle and nap for an hour
4pm - half a jar of baby food
5:30pm - 7oz bottle
7pm - bath and cream (he was prescribed a certain moisturiser for his dry skin soon after he was born. His skin is beautiful now but we continue using to avoid any problems)
7:30pm - after cuddles, he will have his final bottle (8oz) then goes straight to bed. We always feed him in his bedroom on the nursing chair in the dark. I try to put him in his cot drowsy, but he often falls asleep on me as he nears the end of his bottle.

Until about 4 months old, he was waking 1-2 times a night. From 4months on, he's waking 3 times at least.

Normally, between 10:30-11
Then again at about 2
Then again at about 4-4:30

When he wakes, on a good night he'll have a few oz of a bottle and fall back asleep, but some nights he'll cry and cry unless he's being held, then cries again when he's placed back in his cot.

Any help would be very much appreciated.

I've got two kids, first born did not sleep through till 15 months, second was much earlier, maybe 6 months.

It obviously wasn't my parenting method as I treated both the same way. Some kids need their mummy more

See routine above

As other people have said - they're all different, but I can understand wanting more sleep!

At 6 months I know you're probably only just weaning but I wonder whether it would be worth introducing some Porridge before bedtime to try and fill his tummy a little more?

Does he use a dummy? Would that help soothe him back to sleep?

I swore by the “Dream Feed” I used to feed my DS just before I went to bed, he didn’t wake up properly. Would feed and go straight back down, tummy full. Keep him going through the night. I only did this because so many people evangelised about it-they weren’t wrong!

Sounds like mine. Lots of waking. Sometimes wanting fed, sometimes teething, mostly just wanting cuddles. He's now showing signs of growing out of it and is consistently sleeping better, but got there on his own with cuddles from us.

I hate the whole "you're now their sleep crutch, you must break your child of this or they are ruined forever" nonsense. That line of thinking caused me untold stress and anxiety for months. I then realised of course you are their sleep crutch. You provide warmth and reassurance and safety, they feel safe and cosy, therefore they fall asleep. Most adults only sleep when feeling safe and cosy, why are babies different.

You're doing nothing wrong, and they'll learn to sleep better eventually. Personally in think it's purely developmental, like walking. They'll do it when they're ready.

Op my little boy is 2years 7months old and has only this last week started sleeping through the night... I've been exhausted for more than 3 years including pregnancy... but then I've never ever slept a whole night without waking in 36years. Everyone is different and you will adjust to the lack of sleep eventually. I went from 12+ hours a night before pregnancy (I loved my sleep) to 4+ a night now and I feel better for it. Good luck. X

He should be napping 3 x a day so if you brought the first one forward it would reduce his likelihood of falling asleep feeding (negative sleep association) and mean an extra cat nap between 4-5.

He has too big gaps between naps leading to overtiredness which is a key cause of waking.

Needs at least one nap in his nightime bed (cot or crib)

Needs at least one longer nap of 1.5 or 2 hours consistently and ideally in his bed.

Might want to try a dream feed at 10 to get a good few hours of sleep when you go to bed.

I agree with ikanon, baby needs an extra nap even if it’s one in the morning & one a bit later in the afternoon. Also have you tried a dream feed? I done it with both my girls a little top up before I went to bed would just settle them for the majority of the night.

Don't feel bad! Mine is the same! she usually wakes up 3 times overnight for a feed. Usually one of them she gets alert because she is very gassy and loves to poo around 4h am. My friend told me is due to cognitive development, that is normal around 4 months. I'm going to try the dream feed that some of you suggested, although she tends to wake up by herself around 22:30 and it doesn't seem to affect the frequency overnight. From what I've read it just looks like baby has his own sleep padron, same as adults, they are all different. We can only do our best and hope that now and then we get a break.