My 3 year old won't sleep :-(

[Ella898]

Hey everyone,
Looking for some advice and help please. My 3 year old wakes regularly about 3-4 times a night on average needing comfort or asking for a drink of water it's really getting me down as he just won't sleep through.
He's fairy good at going to bed at 7.30pm has a bath some time with his dad then books cup of milk then bed always the same every night.

Feel like I must be doing something wrong. I have on occasion waited it out while he cries for a small time but that doesn't seem to work either. Or also left drink on the side for him but he still cries out.

He does have a nap every day for about 1 and half- 2 hours which is always solid sleep. Didn't know whether that would be making the problem?

Look forward to hearing back from anyone who can help with some advice or tips if you have had same problem.

Thank you
Ella

Hey - no experience on being 3 as my DS is 16 months but I'd say try shortening the nap - my DS only sleeps 1-1.5 hours a day at his age (sometimes less) and I find if he goes over that he doesn't sleep as well at night. Have you tried shortening the nap?

What sort of bed is your child in? Would leaving a cup on the side somewhere work, or would that be too risky?

Thank you for replying really appreciate it.
Yes could try shorted the nap today to just 1.5 hours and see how we go.
I have tried leaving a drink but he doesn't seem to want to get it himself but again I will tell him this evening and try this

Thank you

Ella

I know all children are different but when my DD was a 3 year old she doesn't routinely have a sleep during the day. She went to bed at 7 and slept through.

At 3.5 she has started waking in the night with excuses but recently mentioned she was scared of the dark. Last night we put a lamp In her room and it seems to work

Mine both had to drop the nap by 3 - they loved it but nighttimes were hell! Most of our friends had the same experience.
Also worth googling 'rapid return' - it's not letting them cry, but not engaging when they get up at night and putting them straight back to bed, it makes nighttime less exciting 😊 Helped our jack in the box DS2!

Yes and as pp said nightlights can be good at this age. Mine has loved his groclock from about then

We’re in the same boat with my 2 year old.

If she doesn’t have a nap, or I wake her up early from it then she falls asleep too early in the evening and the wake ups start from 9pm 😩

I have no advice, I have older children but they always slept through from an early age. I just wanted to let you know you weren’t alone!

Thank you so much for all your reply's and it's comforting to know I am not alone as this has been getting me down so thank you.

I will try the night light idea as well and read up about not engaging with them during the night

Thank you

Ella

Most 3 year olds I know have dropped their naps and generally sleep through. I’d just go cold turkey without the nap and make sure he gets plenty of exercise in the day.
Also keep lights off and don’t give drinks or anything in the night. So long as he’s had a drink right before bed there’s no need to be having it through the night too.

Ok thank you

So if he asks for a drink shall I just say no?

My DS wasn't napping in the day at 3, and I think by 2 and half I had dropped his nap to an hour, then half hour when night times got worse again down then to nothing. I always found that when nights got worse it was related to his daytime nap. Good luck OP.

Ok thank you

Maybe it's time I stop the naps then... he also starts pre school from next week so I am hoping that will make him tiered. He's napping as I write this so from tomorrow I will stop the day time nap and see what happens and keep you all updated

Starting preschool might actually mean he needs more sleep and needs his daytime nap more than ever.

My DD also starts perschool on Monday. I could only accept mornings because she still sleeps for 3h in the afternoon.and 12h at night. They are all different.

Regarding your night wakes, I would stop pandering to her requests in the night. I well hydrated child should not be thirsty at night. I'd go in, say no to whatever due wants, kiss/cuddle, say it's sleep time now and leave. Repeat a million times until she accepts that this is what will always happen when she wakes in the night.

Ok thank you

I leave a water bottle next to their bed (non leaky!), so it's up to them and they can't use it as a reason to call you.

Thank everyone
I would never deny him a drink!
Last night I left one of the side also tried the method of not going in on first request and he only moaned for about 5 mins so worked well I always made the bed time a bit calmer than normal. He did still nap yesterday for 1.5 hours so it was a good night.

I am going to try no nap today see what happens then decide from there how I'm going to do new routine

Thanks everyone

My 3 yr old still naps in the day. We have to wake him from it after 2 hrs. He loves it still. I know most children don't nap at this age but I'd hate to stop him when he still seems to need it. He's a ridiculously busy boy. Nights are hot and miss but he tends to be an early riser. He starts preschool tomorrow so will be interesting to see how that goes.

My nearly 3 year old is cracking me up with her lack of sleep.

We’ve dropped the day nap mostly, but some days she’s so exhausted she can’t be kept awake so we limit it to 45 mins -1hour.

We recently moved from a cot to a toddler bed and the only difference is she can run through the house screaming rather than just in her bed.

We got slight progress last night walking her back to bed, no talking once we reach her room, cuddle and lay with her until she falls asleep.

I know it’s not ideal, but it’s that or do what I did the other night. Sit on the landing crying while she cries after 4 hours of checking on her, walking out and waiting while she screams the house down from 3am and falling asleep where I sat.

No advice, my perfect bedtime routine had well and truly gone out the window so watching with interest.

Oh as PP mentioned he Groclock. I hoped this would help us but if anything it’s made it worse! So many people have said they are amazing though so I guess every child is different.

Thanks for all getting back to me

Hi OP. Hope you had a better night. My DS1 aged 3.5 doesn’t nap in the day anymore. We aim for bed and story at 8pm. He was sleeping through until we woke him until Halloween night because his preschool told ghosts stories and he’s now scared of ‘skeleton heads on his ceiling’. He now ends up in our bed around 3am everyday and sleeps perfectly (whilst kicking the crap out of us) We have ordered a groclock to see if that helps get back to normal. He also used to constantly ask for drinks as a stalling tactic so I got him a non spill cup specially for bedtime for water. Mostly it’s untouched in the morning but sometimes he’s drunk some and gone back to sleep.

Last night there was a couple of wake ups... he didn't nap that day so not sure if that was linked or not.

I will nap him again today see what happens he also starts pre school this week so will be interesting to see if sleep changes because of that

Thanks
Ella

I’m in this boat, too. DS is 3 next month and has started being scared of things. He’s become very clingy and this includes at night (he was a good sleeper until about 6 weeks ago).

It’s a big problem for us as he shares a room with his big brother and disturbs him. Last night little one & DH went to Granny’s for a sleep over so that big one could have a proper night’s sleep before starting back at school today.

Obviously we can’t do that long term so I’ve just moved his toddler bed into our room until we can break the pattern. He’s got a cough and suffers from glue ear (which can be painful) so he’s getting checked by the GP in a few days in case he needs anything treating. Last time he had a spell of sleeplessness it turned out to be a chest infection and antibiotics helped.

We stopped DS from napping in the summer, which was quite early, but he stopped being ready for bed when he’d had a nap at nursery as they nap after lunch. He’s fine if he naps early (in the car, for example) and wakes up by 11, but any later and it can be 10 or 11 pm before he falls asleep; contrast with falling asleep in about 5 minutes at 7 on non-nap days.

My 3yo has been dreadful recently. She’s been having nightmares but also just messing about. She doesn’t nap anymore (we stopped that when going to bed went wrong). For the last three days we’ve offered her a reward if she doesn’t call out. It’s working so far! Phew! Might be worth a try?

Thank you will give the reward idea a go as well sounds like a good idea

Thanks so much