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Sleep deprived and desperate

12 replies

gingergretch17 · 05/01/2018 21:22

Hi I need some advice mums please. Haven't slept properly in forever! I'm a first time mum and my daughter is 8 months old. Now she used to sleep well waking once for a feed and in her own cot and room but for the last few months she's been all over the place. She will go down for her sleep in her cot but then wake as soon as I come up to bed...which can sometimes be as early as 7pm depending on the sleep I've had. We then spend three hours trying to get her back to sleep. That's three hours with lights low, calm, soothing. Picking her up, feeding and her falling asleep in arms only to wake when I put her down again. Eventually shell crash out and sleep but we're only averaging three to four hours. Some nights I've resorted to co-sleeping although I dare not tell my HV that. Always she ends up in our room. I've tried all kinds of white noise, no noise, leaving my top tucked into her cot, leaving her to try and self settle but I don't believe in leaving her to cry desperately for me and surely she is too young for sleep training? She is weaned and breastfed. She always naps if taken out in pram and rarely have I got her down in her cot for nap.

I've considered hiring a sleep professional but they are so so expensive. I get nervous about going to bed because I know the battle I'll have. My husband is fab but works a mixture of days and night shifts so he needs to sleep when working as it can be dangerous for him to do his job sleep deprived.

Am I just doing something wrong? People say she'll grow out of it and it will end but will really or will I have a teenager sleeping in her Moses next to my bed!!

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lorisparkle · 05/01/2018 21:33

My health visitor recommended a book called ‘teach your child to sleep’ by the millpond clinic. Best thing I ever bought! It gives information about routines, different options for sleep training, flow charts for possible solutions and step by step instructions to follow. This was just what I needed when seriously sleep deprived! I followed the routine, chose the method I liked and worked on it! I did choose a very gentle gradual withdrawal/retreat method which took a couple of months but it did work!

TittyGolightly · 05/01/2018 21:35

Massive development leap at 8 months and height of separation anxiety. Have a read through this forum - it comes up multiple
Times a —day— week.

NSEA · 05/01/2018 21:39

“Some nights I've resorted to co-sleeping although I dare not tell my HV that”

This is really sad. Co sleeping is actually very safe and evidence suggests beneficial to your baby. I co slept with my second for 9 months as it was the only way to get any sleep.

I also refused to cosleep with my forst and she woke every hour or 2. It was exhausting. I feel your pain. We just had to wait it out with her, until she was 18 months and them we couldn’t take it anymore and started co sleeping with her (until my 2nd was born).

Honestly, do what feels right for you, but don’t rule out cosleeping. Its a valid option especially when so young. X

FATEdestiny · 06/01/2018 13:03

Bring the cot next to your bed.

Try giving a dummy (although 8 months is late to introduce so you may have no luck). Otherwise whatever you do will involve crying so you just have to accept that.

Baby needs to learn to go you sleep in the place she will stay asleep.

gingergretch17 · 07/01/2018 17:17

Thanks. I've order the book recommendation 'teach your child to sleep' she's been okay in her Moses the last few nights so have slept myself. Just got to face the battle of transfering her into her room now. Going to wait till husband is off and can help in nights.

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crazycatlady5 · 07/01/2018 19:24

“Some nights I've resorted to co-sleeping although I dare not tell my HV that”. This is really sad. Co sleeping is actually very safe and evidence suggests beneficial to your baby. I co slept with my second for 9 months as it was the only way to get any sleep.

Couldn’t agree more.

BendingSpoons · 07/01/2018 19:39

Do you need to move her into her own room? If she is sleeping better in the room with you can she stay for now? Separation anxiety tends to kick in around this age.

Lollipop30 · 07/01/2018 19:50

Do you need to move her out? If you’re both happy and actually sleeping properly is there any need?
She’s only 8months, that’s really not very old.

gingergretch17 · 07/01/2018 22:43

I guess she could stay where she is for now. I've been told by family that if I don't move her now she'll not learn and I'll be making a rod for my own back?

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TittyGolightly · 08/01/2018 07:28

Generally speaking, any baby advice that includes the words “rod for your own back” is utter horseshit.

gingergretch17 · 08/01/2018 15:27

Hmm thanks for that link. That's quite an interesting article. Definitely food for thought. I was beginning to think I was doing something wrong because I was getting her into 'bad habits'.

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