Two boys and one very very tired mummy

[kooklebean]

My boys are 3 & 4 and neither are sleeping through. I can count on my hands the full nights sleep I've had in the 4 years. The eldest wakes at least once or twice, the youngest sometimes 5...6.. times... And refuses to go back to sleep in his own bed or even sleep in my bed with out me. I'm self employed and try to do most of my work between them going to bed and midnight, 1am...and little one is waking sometimes 9pm,11pm,midnight etc and won't go back to sleep, then the rest of the night ends up with them both in my bed... We're all wrestling for space, I'm getting woken up half dozen times or more a night... Argh.. It's just getting crazy and I'm at wits end. Just don't know what to do. I've tried all the usual, they have a good diet, good bedtime routine, a lovely bed room and beds... I am exhausted, struggling to get enough work done and generally just not loving life atm! Help... Advice.. Suggestions, me too's and magic answers all welcome pleeeaasseee

Do you have a partner? If so my first suggestion would be that you alternate nights getting up so at least you get a full night's sleep every other night. If you don't, are any grandparents/relatives willing to have them every so often so you can get a break and sleep well? These are just immediate suggestions to help with your own sleep.

No partner, just me. My mum occasionally has them for a sleepover and finds the eldest sleeps through, littlest still wakes but usually will go back to sleep with a little settling. I can't figure out what it is that gets them so unsettled, up and down all night other. Some people say should let them cry it out, somehow stop them from leaving their bedroom, but I really struggle with that idea and the night time crying is a no go because I live in a small flat block and literally disturbs everyone...the littlest can kick off so catastrophically if I try to put my foot down about him coming to my bed.