In search of moral support #toddlersleep

[sleeplessinsoutheastlondon]

Please help me keep perspective here. It takes my 17 month old son an hour to go to sleep whilst I lay totally still and silent like a ninja on the floor and hold his hand in the dark. He still wakes up 2-4 time a night too and despite going to sleep at 8 is still waking up at 6. Despite being very happy that he is no longer awake for hours in the night (this joy ended a few days after Christmas almost sending me and his Dad suicidal) I can't help but think when on earth will this child ever sleep well.

Please tell me stories of how your 17/18 month old is sleeping (preferably not very well) to make me feel less alone...

I’ve just finished bedtime with my 17 month old. I started it at 8pm. We are going through an incredibly rough patch with lots of crying/screaming/sobbing. I also am practiced in ninja skills, I put her in the cot over a period of 5 minutes tonight, my back is killing me. I also have to bf her back to sleep a couple of times a night.

You are not alone.

My 17 month old has always been a rubbish sleeper. He was fed to sleep until 1 year, managed to get him to sleep in the cot but still wakes at least 2-3 times through the night (if not more!) & 9/10 times I need to feed him back to sleep so he ends up in bed with me & DH gets kicked out the bed! Over the last couple of months he has gradually got harder to actually get to sleep to begin with, lots of screaming & crying, although tonight he went down okayish, but I have to lie on the floor with my hand in the cot (which he pushes away then reaches back out for it ) Don't even get me started on naps!

Really thought his sleep would be better by this age! Or at the very least he would settle for his dad so I could actually get a decent nights sleep

I would suggest a process of gradual withdrawal.

Start letting go of his hand but keeping your hand right next to his when he is calm and settled. If unsettled, hold hand again. When calm, move so your hand is near but not holding.

Fate - any ideas for me? Can’t even get her in the cot without screaming if she’s at all awake. Has to be completely asleep before I can put her down. I don’t want to do cry it out in any way.

I've been trying gradual withdrawal since July & not made any more progress I read the "what worked for us" thread & it helped with getting him to sleep in his cot as previously he had to be fed to sleep & we co-slept as he would wake if we tried to move him, so we've made progress in that respect. But when he wakes through the night & wants a feed he can get quite hysterical if I try to give him just water in his cup. The last couple of nights he's went down with minimum crying but still a lot of faffing about in his cot, but it's better than the screaming!

I am definitely with you on this one. My 19mo has never slept through. I usually have to cuddle him to sleep, then he wakes up numerous times in the night, but 9/10 I put a bottle of water in his mouth and he goes straight back off!
The last few months he has been in my bed all night, as it was just easier, and it then got to the point where he completely refused to go in his cot.
Tonight I am trying him in his new toddler bed for the first time. Unfortunately I only have 2 bedrooms and there's no way I can put him in with my 8yo as he'd wake him up all night! So his toddler bed is next to mine.
I managed to get him off to sleep by sitting next to the bed with an arm round him, but now he's really unsettled and keeps waking up and pointing at my bed and shrieking! I think I'm in for a long night!
But you are definitely not alone, I feel your pain and wish there was a simple solution for all of us!

I have been sitting in the dark holding my 18mo DD hand for an hour too. The past 2 nights I have put her in a cot rather than my bed as it's been getting silly. She went to sleep tonight much quicker as I accidentally got her to self sooth for the first time ever. I had to see somebody off which took 6 mins during which she screamed a lot and went to sleep. A miracle ! And I Would be v happy had she not woken up 3/4 times already since being put down.....