4 yr old petrified of sleeping on her own. HELPPPP please!!!!

[dizabelle]

Our almost 4.5 yr old DD has been sleeping by herself for years with only the occasional bad dream here and there, which she settled quickly from. Over the last 2 weeks, we have been through hell as she is petrified to sleep by herself and keeps saying that she is dreaming of and seeing the Giant form Jack and the beanstalk eating Jack and the wicked witch from Snow White. This all started after a night spent at a friend's house where I slept in a double bed with her. She then refused to sleep by herself and was screaming and crying and shaking with fear. We had a week of her sleeping in our bed with either me or my husband and I slept on her floor hoping that this would soon pass. She slept fine then - no screaming. We then decided that she needed to sleep in her own bed with the landing light on as always, door open and also a new night light on too. Some nights it takes over an hour to settle her and others she falls asleep without any trouble. Things then go wrong during the night and we are up any where between 5 and 20 times a night. I have a two year old too who has been waking up more with all this going on and my husband is off abroad for a week with work from next Monday. I am panicking about how I will cope with all this and still go to work. We have tried the dream fairy, keep telling her that she is safe and loved in our safe home, I have ripped up the scary books with her and this helps temporarily but things are not getting any better. We went to see the Jack and the Beanstalk panto with her nursery but she got so scared even before it started so we left without her seeing anything that might have scared her. Has anyone experienced anything similar and managed to get through it? I know it's just another stage but I'm really worried about her and what may be causing her such severe night time anxiety. Thank you in advance x

We've been having similar with our nearly 4 year old. He won't go to sleep with the light off and his usually good routine has been off. I'm blaming the Holidays and hoping he'll be ok next week when he's back in preschool.

Hello! It's as if I could have written this myself!
My dc has a fear of burglars after reading burglar bill when she was 4. She is now nearly 8. Last year she was getting up throughout the night and it lasted 3 months! She wanted to sleep in our bed and we refused as it was getting silly. She was refusing yo go to bed and once she woke up at 2am and never went back to sleep. The only thing that stopped it last year was when we went away for the week on holiday. It almost was a distraction and she was fine.
However this week she woke up again and refused to go back to sleep. She's such an anxious child too and has a fear of fires and burglars. We are now trying to not mention that she woke up. To try and not make a big deal about it. I think where we went wrong was making a big thing about her waking up.
Perhaps try brushing it under the carpet? I've found if I make a big deal about what she is frightened of it makes her build up her anxiety worse. Other thing I have done which has helped alot is asking dc what is the worse thing that could happen. And she realised that we would jist have to buy more stuff. I think that broke down the fear abit. As telling dc it would never happen didn't help at all and got her more upset.

We used a nightlight and Monster Spray. We made the Monster Spray together, using a spray bottle (a used cleaning one washed out is fine) and a few drops of scented oil. The nice smell repels monsters. You apply it to doors and windows and it works really well!

Worry Monster works well for us. Child Writes or draws their worry on a bit of paper, zips it into WM's mouth and overnight he eats it up and generally takes care of it.
As in, you sneak in when Child is asleep, take the written down worry out of WM's mouth and get to see what's really bugging them.
Works surprisingly well.

And obviously you get rid of thenit of paper (or hide it in your drawers ).

shhh how old is your dc? We have one of those.

Would she lie and listen to an audio book? My ds is almost 4 and always been fine until his 11 year old cousin told him they were scared of the dark and he decided he was too. An Audio book has helped him and some strings of fairy lights he has some he's chosen that he was really excited to have up. I leave them on until he's asleep then turn them off. And leave a nightlight on. He's falling asleep well although I do worry about it long term though.

She's 10 and, when not being cool and logical, has her moments.

I wish I had discovered it earlier for my "armoury". In fact, I've just thought of a situation when I could have used it recently and wish I had.

Thanks Guys! The worry monster sounds great however she can't write yet, only her name, but I could do it for her. I'll order one today. I have also ordered the Jack and the Beanstalk CBeebies panto dvd that she can watch and see that it's not scary at all. I tried the monster spray with her and it only worked for about 20 minutes... mammabooksbabbynumber 2 - I think we have made a big deal out of it and we will stop mentioning it so much...

We also have an audio book on an iPod which we plug into a little speaker and set to run for half an hour via the Clock/alarm function in the iPod. I pop on and switch off the speaker when I go to bed. Or I forget. The iPod and the speaker both hold their charge for a few days.
If it isn't having the desired effect, I pop back in and set it for another 40 mins. Usually works.

Op, she can draw a picture and WM will understand it. She doesn't need to write if that's not there yet for her.

Never considered an audio book but yes maybe this could do the trick of stopping her from thinking about the scary stuff so much early on, on the nights when she won't settle...she used to be fast asleep by about 8pm but last night it was 9.15 after DH and I had been up with her about 7 times... the middle of the night waking up is worse and I don't an audio book would be a good idea then as it would just wake her up more...

Yeah for us luckily he has started to sleep through and if he wakes up I give him a cuddle and he goes back to sleep. The audio book seems to help him settle and his bad dreams have become so much less frequent. No idea if it is a coincidence or not. But it has helped. Before that I was having to lie on his bed with him.

I use an audio book for me and I'm in my 50s. That's where I got the idea to try it for dd. The trick is to have her listen to something she is really familiar with - in effect, boring her to sleep. I listen to the same section of a particularly book or radio play that I know word for word but still enjoy. Dd listens to the same bit of a book every night. If she gets truly bored, we switch it up.
I have a strict no TV or smartphone/tablet in bedroom rule for all of us and bend this rule for an iPod.
I'm so old I used to listen to audio cassettes for the same effect.

My ds 4 has a small kids torch which he uses whilst playing with his few toys he's allowed in bed.It helps him drop off plus he has the security or having a little light ge has control of

just a quick update... we had the best night in ages last night and I feel so much better. We got the magic set out and she put her hat on and we pretend shrank the giant into a piece of fluff on the carpet and then threw him out of the window. She then slept with the magic wand next to her bed and only woke up twice but settled really well. it was a really windy and noisy night and i was convinced that she would wake up but we had to wake her up at 7.20am. I can't believe it and hope things continue this way. Thank you all again for your advice x

Well done, op. It was a wild and windy one last night.
You will have ups and downs with this in the future because that's the way it goes. But you clearly have a good tactic in play.
Magic wand, eh? Sounds like one to add to the armoury ...

So pleased you had a good night. It was an awfully loud one too. Hope it's something that continues to help her.