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Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

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Original poster

my 12 year old has trouble sleeping

38 replies

kirstie120477 · 01/01/2018 15:49

I have a 12 year old son how has had trouuble sleeping. This has been going on for 9 months now. He go to bed at 8.30pm then awak up again at 1.30pm then he will come in to see me hoping he can come in bed with me but when i go and try and put him back in his own bed he just start to get cross with me. The main thing he worse about is have a epilepsy fit all the time which is not good. I have tryed putting a cd on in this room i read him storys. I am now running out of idea on just how to help him to stay in his own bed all night. I would be very greaful if any one has any ideas on how i can help my son to sleep better and just so i can get some sleep too

OP posts:

crazycatlady5 · 02/01/2018 16:05

I am all for just letting them sleep with you when they need to tbh. What’s the harm? He’ll grow out of it he certainly won’t be 18 and needing to sleep in your bed.

Original poster

kirstie120477 · 02/01/2018 17:51

Thank you for that I done not what him sleeping with me I just want him to stay in his own bed other wise I don't get any sleep

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Sarah8410 · 03/01/2018 01:00

I am having the exact same problem with my 11yr old son.. he will not fall asleep on his own, always wants me to stay in his bed till he's asleep, then will be up a few times during the night when everybody else is asleep 1am 3am etc.
He will then proceed to wake his brother or sister so they can be with him till he falls asleep again , which does NOT go down well at all !!
Then the whole house is awake!!
He says he's scared.. we've tried everything. Apart from seeking medical help, which we will have to do, as we are all exhausted.
Sorry I couldn't give advice, but just wanted to let you know your not alone.

cakedup · 03/01/2018 01:04

What time does he wake up for school? 8.30pm seems early for a 12 yr old.

Original poster

kirstie120477 · 03/01/2018 05:35

He get up for school about 7am in the morning so what time should a 12 year old be going to bed then

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cakedup · 04/01/2018 09:28

Does he fall asleep straight away? I know with ds if I put him to bed too early it'll make him restless for the night.

I sympathise. I've had sleep issues with ds since the day he was born. I tried everything....lavender spray, night rescue remedy, meditations, I also had a book...will find it for you in a minute. Worth trying and sometimes these things can help. Ds is 12 now (goes to bed 9.30pm/10pm but doesn't need to get up until 7.45am. Most of his friends go to bed around 10am I hear). I realise now that ds sleep problems are associated with anxiety and he is thinking of a million things when lying in bed. I have always let ds sleep in my bed when he wants though.

I can tell you now there is no medical help available, I have been to the doctors several times over the years. They are reluctant to prescribe sleeping tablets for obvious reasons and also it will make them tired/groggy the next day.

cakedup · 04/01/2018 09:30

The book is called 'what to do when you dread your bed' and is on amazon

misscph1973 · 04/01/2018 09:42

Try magnesium flakes in the bath (in the evening). It's incredibly relaxing and completely harmless. You can also get a body lotion with magnesium if he prefers showers. I like Better You, you can get it from Amazon/eBay.

Original poster

kirstie120477 · 04/01/2018 10:25

Thank you so much for all that I will look in to this book and see if it will help

OP posts:

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic · 04/01/2018 10:38

I’d say try a 9pm bedtime with lights out at 10pm. No electronics in the bedroom either. Is his epilepsy under control? I don’t know much about epilepsy but my DF has it and she’s a lot worse if she’s stresse. He is stressed at all?

Does he get plenty of exercise too? Daylight, even at this time of year, has been proved to help sleep and of course the exercise will help too.

As PPs have said though, I’d just let him get in bed with you for now. He probably won’t want you near him once puberty kicks in.

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic · 04/01/2018 10:42

Forgot to say, the MN Preteens section is useful for help with these 12 year olds too

Snowman41 · 04/01/2018 10:44

I would say try a much later bed time.

10pm or so.

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic · 04/01/2018 12:13

I’ve found this article on the NHS website. Don’t know if it’s of any use OP?

ChoudeBruxelles · 04/01/2018 12:18

Seems kind of early for a 12 year old. Ds is 11 and lights out is 9.30. He’s in bed for 9 usually and reads for half an hour. He’s not great at going to sleep but reading does seem to help him relax

He is up at 6.45 on a school day.

Original poster

kirstie120477 · 04/01/2018 12:38

Thank for that I might try putting him to bed about about 9pm

OP posts:

crazycatlady5 · 04/01/2018 13:43

Fully agree that’s like a small child’s bedtime. Lights out at 10 definitely seems sensible.

Snowman41 · 04/01/2018 15:47

Is there any reason you want him to go to bed early? 9pm is only an extra half an hour and is still quite early for a 12 yo.

BrokenBattleDroid · 04/01/2018 15:50

Could you also put a mattress down on your floor so that he has somewhere close to you that is less intrusive (while you tackle the root of the issue)?

Original poster

kirstie120477 · 04/01/2018 16:20

Will yes I could do that it might be something to try

OP posts:

Original poster

kirstie120477 · 07/01/2018 21:33

Is it a good idea to tell my son to stay in his own bed all week then give him some sort of treat for beeing good

OP posts:

Snowman41 · 07/01/2018 22:16

Well he is 12yo, maybe you need to discuss it with him. Treats for being good at bedtime are generally for toddlers. Start treating your son age appropriately. Talk about it.

Then give him a later bedtime.

Original poster

kirstie120477 · 08/01/2018 07:14

He how going to bed at 9pm which same to be working so far

OP posts:

crazycatlady5 · 08/01/2018 10:54

Just wondering why bedtime is still so early? Genuine question no judgement

Original poster

kirstie120477 · 08/01/2018 11:18

If I think 9pm is the right time of my son to go to bed then that what i will stick to

OP posts:

Snowman41 · 08/01/2018 12:05

You do that. But why ask for advice?

Another waste of people's time.

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