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Comfort feeding cosleeping baby (5.5 months) and fertility return

17 replies

Tulpenblue · 31/12/2017 13:39

My ebf 5.5 month baby started out as a great sleeper sleeping 6 hour stretches from 4 weeks. At 14 weeks this went backwards and he started waking every hour - 2 hours. Out of complete exhaustion I dragged him into bed to feed him when I couldn’t manage any longe. Of course he’s not gotten smart and refuses to sleep at night without a nipple in his mouth and is niece cosleeping all night. He feeds maybe 1/2 a night most night but does a lot of comfort sucking. He is our first baby and my concern is that I’m 38 and would like another baby so am anxious for fertility to return as it took a year to conceive this little man. All / any advise welcome. Thnx.

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Tulpenblue · 31/12/2017 13:42

*He’s gotten smart. Oops!

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userabcname · 31/12/2017 15:33

It's tough isn't it - I have a similar 6 month old! Have you tried a dummy? If it's the sucking he likes? Will he take a bottle? If so, could his final feed be a nice big bottle of ebm / formula to really fill him up and put him in a milk coma (I know this isn't guaranteed to work but worth a try imo)? And could your partner maybe do a bottle feed during the night too? 5 months is a difficult time. My baby is 6 months old and just starting to go back to 2 feeds a night (although last night woke every 2 hours from midnight) so it does improve.

boatrace30 · 31/12/2017 15:38

Just to say that my fertility didn't return until I gave up breastfeeding completely, even though the last few months of feeding was two short feeds a day. Everyone is different though

Tulpenblue · 31/12/2017 15:54

Should have said in my post that he doesn’t take a bottle or a dummy! When he was such a good sleeper at the start I didn’t give him one and by the time he started this malarkey he spat them out 😩 i didn’t persist with the bottles so he also got to the stage where he refused those also. I know; I made the rod for my own back !

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Tulpenblue · 31/12/2017 15:57

@boatrace 30 I know that’s a possibility so I was toying with the idea of breaking the night suckling by putting him in his own room and trying him with sippy cups of formula from maybe 9 months onwards? I had planned on nursing til he was a year and able to take cows milk but worried it could a while for baby no 2 to happen...

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Cakeorchocolate · 31/12/2017 16:19

Bfing is only an "effective contraceptive" until 6mths. So it shouldn't affect you conceiving another child really as your ds is coming up up towards that now.

boatrace30 · 31/12/2017 18:31

@Cakeorchocolate - that may be true for some and obviously it's never reliable contraception but for me I had no sign of fertility for 15months.

@Tulpenblue I guess you are about to start weaning? My dd massively reduced milk intake at about 8months as she got into solids so you may find the situation is very different in a couple of months. I also found 4-6months the worst time for sleeping .

Tulpenblue · 31/12/2017 18:42

@cakeorchocolate I’m hoping that’s the case although havingbaby in the bed isn’t going to help matters in that regard!

@boatrace30 He is taking a spoon feed at dinner time for the last 2 weeks and I already see a reduction in milk intake. I started weaning him a little earlier than the 6 months as he was feeding every hour round the clock! He’s definitely sleeping better since then but seems to magically wake if placed anywhere but in the bed with me. 😩 Hopefully a fuller tummy will help in a month or two.

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babigailwabble · 31/12/2017 20:31

you can have mine 😒 it came back at 6mo despite co sleeping and feeding through the night and it's a, quite literally, bloody nightmare!! and so heavy i've had serious choose between baby or blood pouring down legs moments since Angryi had 450 days period free and it was heaven !

pileoflaundry · 31/12/2017 21:01

My DS fed every 1-2 hours round the clock for his entire first 6 months, there was no respite ever...

Once he was six months I weaned him off the boob at night using a really gentle method from a book I can't find, sorry, but I'll look some more if you are interested. DS went in his own room at night, and I pro-actively woke him up an idiotic number of times per night to feed him. If DS woke up by himself, DH settled him to sleep, with the knowledge that there was no way that DS could possibly be hungry. Then I shortened one of the bf by 1-2 minutes per night until it was gone, and then shortened the next until it was gone, and so on. Worked for both my DC. It was really hard at first with all the proactive waking, but at least it was measurably better every single night, and I could count down to when I would have one less waking, and then two less, and so on. It wasn't fun for poor DH.

Friends of DH were in a similar situation and solved it in just a week by changing over the person who settled the child at night from the mum (=boobs) to the dad and going cold turkey on the night feeds (eek).

My fertility returned around 12 months with first DC, and around 14 months with the second (both ebf). Both times it happened when I was actively cutting down on the bfs before returning to work. I decided to bf my first as long as possible, my thinking at the time being that I would prefer to not cut down completely to try to conceive a baby which may never come. In the end I ended up accidentally tandem feeding once the second DC came along...

Tulpenblue · 31/12/2017 21:40

@babigailwabble Oh no poor you. I've actually wondered how bad my first period will be. However bad lack of sleep is, i can't imagine how horrible it will be with a period to contend with 😩

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Tulpenblue · 31/12/2017 21:44

@pileoflaundry Thanks for the advice. Night weaning sounds great and I'd hope to do it once baby is taking on board some more solids.

DH has tried putting him to bed but the baby screams the house down and will not accept anything less than the boobies. I am not one for CIO esp when he's so young.

I'd love the name of the book with night weaning method if you stumble across it. Many thnx

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babigailwabble · 31/12/2017 22:27

honestly @Tulpenblue i am furious that mother nature thinks it is just to leech my body of even more materialsAngry

pileoflaundry · 02/01/2018 20:45

I found the book! 'The Sleepeasy Solution' by Waldburger and Spivack. There are several editions online, it seems to be this one that I have. It was exhausting but tear-free (at least with the first DC, I was so sleep deprived with the second that I can't remember much...).

MoreSleepPlease6 · 02/01/2018 21:39

My cycles returned at about 5/6 months when DS was still feeding 2 hourly day and night, however my luteal phase was 8/9 days long which is generally too short. We night weaned last month and this month my luteal phase was 12 days!

Tulpenblue · 03/01/2018 14:47

@pileoflaundry Brill,thanks a mill, I'll check that out!

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Tulpenblue · 03/01/2018 14:48

@MoreSleepPlease6 Great news. Night weaning seems to do the trick for a lot of people.

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