Baby No2

[Rebecca1517]

Hi there I had my second son in October and I'm not going to sugarcoat it, he's a nightmare. Clingy, can't be put down for five mins without screaming the place down. I left him for 45
Mins in his MB today and he just screamed. I had Postnatal depression with my first baby and I am trying hard not to go there with this one but I am starting to loose the will

Oh that sounds tough. Ds was the same and he's my first and I'm sad to say I haven't enjoyed the baby stage whatsoever; he's now 10 months old. I'm traumatised so much I don't know if I'll go on to have a second one! Do you have any support or willing babysitters that you could leave your ds with just so you can get a small break?

What's his weight gain like?

The simplest reason for baby being clingy and unsettled is hunger.

I am not enjoying the baby stage either. I wasn't sure I wanted a second but my husband didn't want our first son to be an only child. I don't have a big family so babysitters are limited. It is soul destroying at times!! What I wouldn't give for a full nights sleep.

His weight gain is really good he is thriving as they say. He has a cows milk allergy so is on special milk.

Sorry to hear this, is this just during the day or also at night? My second was born in July and wouldn’t go in his MB at all during the day (would at night though). It was hard going those first 12 weeks as I had to sling them everywhere. It did at least allow me to get on and do something/head to the park with DS. Post 12 weeks the baby would go in the pram for a nap so we would head out to the park and feed the ducks whilst the baby slept. I am a massive advocate was getting out of the house!

If it’s not hunger then it could well be wind-which case having them in the sling will help. You can also try other types of diary free formula which may be less windy-chat to your GP.

Hang on in there, your almost through the new born stage and that’s when their start liking their bouncer more (will love watching older child) and their start to interact etc. I found the first 3 months of having two so hard work but now we’re at the 5 month point it’s getting easier and easier each day.

Thanks for that. What a difference in the two boys! I've noticed he likes to watch his big brother playing etc. I have been tempted to buy a my hummy. But thinking that's a waste of money. He sleeps for a good 5 Hours in his MB at night then he sleeps with me for the last couple of hours. I just wish he would sleep for an hour or two during the day. People say leave him crying but realistically how long can you leave them!

Ds only started sleeping for anything more than a catnap through the day at 6.5 months. He was always very alert. Hopefully your little one will soon fingers crossed.

I’m so sorry to hear about this but please don’t leave him to cry it out when all he wants is to be touched by you. It’s really really hard, it sounds like you have a Velcro baby like me. Honestly the easiest thing is to ride it out and go with it, my Velcro baby is now 11 months old and she’s super happy and sociable, she barely even notices I’m there during the day. The newborn phase seems so long ago but I remember how hard it was. I recommend getting a sling/carrier to use during the day so you can get bits done if you need to and look up safe cosleeping. If you’re not comfortable with that then a side car cot so you can cuddle and then when in a deep sleep shift over to the cot. It won’t last forever but he needs you right now. Speak to a doctor if you feel you have symptoms of PND again x

Re: people telling you to leave him to cry, he is so little he barely knows he’s not part of you anymore. Crying is his only way to communicate, you’re not teaching him anything other than learned helplessness by leaving him to cry, it won’t create independence and cuddling him when he needs it won’t be a ‘rod for your own back’.

I sympathise. On my second baby too and had forgotten how hard it can be. DD 2 is now sleeping through the night and is a delight so it's not been easy to think we're back at square one! I just keep telling myself it will pass and it will get easier.

Second the sling recommendation. Only way I get any thing done!

Thanks for the replies. Makes me feel better that I'm not alone! I do find myself clock watching waiting for my husband to come home. Thankfully he's home by 3. Any recommendations on slings? I agree that crying babies shouldn't be left

It really depends re sling as all babies seem to like different ones. I got a fabric one but my daughter hated it so when she was two months I got an ergo baby 360 which has been amazing. Look up sling libraries near you or failing that do you have a John Lewis near you? I got my ergobaby there as you’re able to try on different ones with your baby x

My baby was like this! The only thing I could put him down in was a bouncer chair with a vibration setting - he loved it! Ours was about £20 from Amazon. He's 6 months now and so much better - hang in there, it will improve.

Thank you! I'm feeling more positive after reading all your messages!

Yep, I'm agreeing with all the others, hang in there! Babies change often of their own accord. My third wouldn't sleep anywhere other than the sling for the first three and a half months. I was worried things would never change but they did. Just keep breathing, I know how hard it is. But also, if you're concerned about pnd then speak to HV or GP.

What milk is baby on for the milk allergy?

Hi it's Nutramigen x

How long has he been on it? Some babies with CMPA are still sensitive to nutramigen as although hydrologised it does contain certain milk proteins. Baby would need to try something like neocate which has no milk products at all

He's been on it for around 4 weeks now

I have two boys (just over a year apart) and the first was what relatives call a sunshine baby always happy and smiling. Our second is like me. I already know he's going to be ruled by his emotions. He was clingy from the moment he was born, he's now 18mo and still is. Some days he's ok other days I can't leave his side without him getting upset. If he is in the highchair and im not in view he hates it. But as exhausting as that is (and it really is) he's also very loving and cuddly and just loves attention. He dotes on his big brother and copies him and follows him everywhere. He's the sweetest little boy, he's just a full on mommy's boy. Yet weirdly he doesn't like any other female relatives except my mom! It is hard but it will get easier and he was actually easier to wean off the dummy and to teach to self settle. I don't have much advice just wanted you to know you're not alone. The jump from 1 to 2 kids is apparently the hardest and I can believe it!

Thanks for that. My 1st son was amazing compared to baby. You never realise that at the time tho do you! I'm hoping he grows out of it sooner rather than later that's for sure!