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Original poster

Anyone else's 8 week old baby in their own room?

52 replies

DuRezidal · 26/12/2017 20:56

Our DD, who is almost 6 years old, went into her own room when she was 3 weeks old because i have terrible insomnia and even though she was sleeping I was not getting more than 2 hours. I would literally spend all night listening to her breathing and wriggling and I could not sleep.

I take sleeping tablets (prescribed) when it gets really bad as it's the only way to break the cycle but don't like taking these when I have a young baby.

When I had my son I did my best to keep him in the bedroom with me for longer. At 6 weeks i caved and put our little boy in his own room and he has slept so much better without me obviously disturbing him. He went from sleeping 3 hour cycles to almost 6 hour cycles a few nights (mostly 4-5 hour cycles) from the night he went in his own room. Then we went on holiday last week where he had to sleep with us again, and he dropped down to 3 hours again.

Does anyone else have their very young baby in their own room?

I would love to have him in the room with me, to be able to hear his noises and him able to be near me, but I cannot function on 2 hours of sleep Confused I feel like I miss out on those initial 6 months of co-sleeping.

OP posts:
NameChange30 · 26/12/2017 21:23

Cross posts, I was slow to post mine!

HerrHerrHerr · 26/12/2017 21:23

As long as you have a good monitor then it should be fine. Maybe look at the angelcare ones with the mat that goes under the baby?

The monitor won’t reduce the risk of SIDS, with SIDS by the time the monitor has gone off it’s too late.

CottonSock · 26/12/2017 21:25

I had awful insomnia and did the same with first dd..moved her out at 6 weeks. Second dd came along and I could not sleep in bed with dh.. so he moved into spare room.. and I used ear plugs. It took anti depressants to get my sleeping back on track both times. People might judge, but I was on the verge of a breakdown. Far higher risk to all (driving car etc was dangerous when I didn't sleep for 3 nights straight- at all)

Hoppinggreen · 26/12/2017 21:27

It’s against guidelines I know but mine were 8 and 6 weeks when they went in their own rooms.

Sparklyuggs · 26/12/2017 21:27

That sounds really tough. Ideally the baby is in with you due to the SIDS risk, but I would also say a chronically sleep deprived parent in charge of a baby isn't safe either, and driving when that tired is definitely dangerous.

PP have given good advice, we use the snuza monitor which clips into the nappy and vibrates if the baby doesn't breathe then sounds an alarm. It helped stop me lying awake and watching DS breathe.

ItsChristmoose · 26/12/2017 21:27

Love the backhanded supportiveness on here.

Original poster
DuRezidal · 26/12/2017 21:42

@TheClacksAreDown I tried this with my daughter but I have ridiculously small ears (earphones will never stay in) and they kept falling out and I wld find them up my nose 

@Waitingonasmile I think it is because I am very very restless, and even when I am asleep I have a very short deep sleep cycle (been tested for this). My husband could sleep through a bomb going off, which is quite fortunate.

@MrsMoastyToasty my daughter is an amazing sleeper, she always has been and can sleep through

OP posts:
Original poster
DuRezidal · 26/12/2017 21:44

@HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood we have a camera and movement monitor, it is the best invention in the world! With our daughter we had a movement and sound monitor but the camera is amazing!

OP posts:
CottonSock · 26/12/2017 21:45

Try silicone ear plugs. They cover the ear opening

RedRobin87 · 26/12/2017 21:48

Our DD went in her own room around 5 months. We didn't plan on her moving into her own room so soon but she is rather long and outgrew her crib sooner than expected. Her cot was too big to fit in our room without being a completely pain in the arse, so we put her in her own room in her cot.

We have a sound and movement monitor and she is just down the hall so I am fairly ok with it.

We do co sleep occasionally as well as she tends to sleep a bit better

Someone I know had her DS in his own room from three weeks, so it just depends what you are comfortable with

Original poster
DuRezidal · 26/12/2017 21:51

I have been back at work since he was 10 days old so desperately need sleep as I also have a very physical job. Initially it was just part time until he was 4 weeks but from that point I have been back in work full time. My husband is the same (although not physical) and we also have our daughter at school so putting him in with her is definitely not an option.

It is so difficult to try and find the best possible compromise, and still I am not sure what is the best thing to do. I know sleeping in her own room worked perfectly for our daughter from 3 weeks, but that doesn't mean it will work for our new baby. It doesn't stop me worrying though...

OP posts:
Mayhemmumma · 26/12/2017 21:53

I did this DD (now 6) was in own room at 12 weeks as DH wouldn't let me put her in earlier...she slept great, I was going insane waking every time she moved or made those little snuffly noises.i kept waking in a real panic to check on her. Separation helped me massively.

D'S (Now 4) would not nap around his older sister at all! I assumed he'd adjust to the noise of a 2 year old but he didn't he just screamed! So he had naps in his cot from about 5 weeks old. (But then mostly co slept at night..)
I broke all the rules.

llangennith · 26/12/2017 22:02

Generations of babies have survived being put in their own room to sleep. Mothers need their sleep.

Marcine · 26/12/2017 22:07

Generations of babies have survived being put in their own room to sleep. Mothers need their sleep.
Generations survived being put on their fronts to sleep, or mothers smoking through pregnancy, or not using car seats, or before antibiotics. That's not much of an argument?

IHeartKingThistle · 26/12/2017 22:08

DS was in his own room at 8 weeks because he outgrew the crib and the cot wouldn't fit in our room. He slept better too but I did find it worrying.

HerrHerrHerr · 26/12/2017 22:10

Generations of babies have survived being put in their own room to sleep. Mothers need their sleep.

Before the safer sleep guidelines were introduced in 1991 about 2000 babies died from SIDS a year. It has now reduced to under 300. Of course generations of babies have survived. Some didn’t though, and because of research and guidelines not as many babies are dying.

CurlsandCurves · 26/12/2017 22:20

Eldest was in his own room at 5 weeks. Sleeping 13 hours by 12 weeks,

Youngest was co sleeping till 6 months then in own room by 7months. Sleeping till 5am .

They’re all different.

wheresthel1ght · 26/12/2017 22:26

@herrherrherr they are guidelines not law. No one actually knows what causes sids or what stops it. They can take a best guess but ultimately that is all it is.

Lots of things have changed in the last 30 years that may have also contributed to a reduction in infant deaths. Better immunisation programmes, more awareness of strep infections, more awareness of blood group issues, better overall health ofb the population, healthier eating, less smoking and drinking... All of which could be contributing factors.

At the end of the day the op needs to make her own decision based on what is best for her and her baby.

Same as mum's who bf make their decision and those of us who decided to ff made the right choice for us and our babies.

Middleoftheroad · 26/12/2017 22:34

My twins went in their own room from day two (under camera and baby monitor surveilance). It was just too noisy.

11 years later and I can safely say I'd do the same again.

GlittterFreak · 26/12/2017 22:55

Firstly do whatever you think is best for your family.
My first baby died of SIDS at 3weeks, I had my second son 4 years later. As you can imagine I've looked into the reasons of Cot death and have spoken to a few specialists.
My second went into to his own room around 3/4 weeks with a noise monitor (the movement monitor does not prevent SIDs. It alerts you when they stop breathing/ moving at this point if it is SIDS it'd be too late) I couldn't cope with him in my room, I was petrified of getting him out of his cot whilst I'm half asleep and falling asleep with him in my arms. We will never really know why SIDS happens, as luckily less and less children are dying from it, the researchers are struggling to get the enough data. One suggestion is that baby's need constant (light) noise - like your breathing - to remind them to sleep, that's why they suggest the stay in your room for 6 months, someone one suggested a ticking clock would work just as well. That's what we did, I'm pregnant for the third time and will see how it goes but this time I won't feel bad about the new baby moving to their own room if that's what's best for my little family!
Good luck with what you decide.

Snowman41 · 26/12/2017 22:59

You say 'our DD'

Could your partner not share with your baby?

HerrHerrHerr · 26/12/2017 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HerrHerrHerr · 26/12/2017 23:05

Bah I worded that very badly about blame. I’d blame myself- that’s what I meant.

Apologies- I have spent far too long worrying about SIDS over the last few years I get a bit carried away as it makes me so bloody nervous.

stargirl1701 · 26/12/2017 23:15

We did the 6 months co-sleeping as per guidelines for DD1.

We did 2 years bedsharing with DD2. It was waaayyyyy easier and meant she was able to breastfeed on demand until 2 years as per guidelines.

crazycatlady5 · 27/12/2017 09:22

Have you tried white noise? I have struggled with insomnia in the past and am a very light sleeper anyway, white noise (rain, sound sleeper app) has sorted it out. I don’t hear snoring, shuffling, etc x

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