PUPD - how did you do it?

[KimchiLaLa]

We want to try the pick up put down method for our 12 week old as she doesn't usually self-settle. Sometimes she does but mostly she doesn't...

I've been told it's fine to do from this age.

Does anyone have any tips? And how many nights did it take you?

She is tiny just hold her whenever she needs it for as long as she needs it , this time will pass within a blink of an eye and you will hopefully have an older baby who will start to self settle , way too young to expect that now .

To be honest I've heard that but also been told 3 months is a good time to start so "sleep associations" don't form?

Shes just coming out of the 4th trimester.

I used to lay on the bed every evening until DD fell asleep, sometimes it took minutes,

I kept DD next to me in bed until she was 2 though, so Im definately the wrong person for this one.

I've currently got a 16 week old DD3 next to me. Neither of my other two started to self settle until they were a good few months older. I used to panic about making a rod for my own back but they are now 3&4 and have been great sleepers since the 9-12 month mark. So I'm chilling with no 3 and knowing she will settle when she is ready , but for now I'm loving the cuddles

She’s far to young but thats my opinion only. She’s only 12 weeks and hasn’t got the ability to self settle, she needs her mummy! You won’t make sleep associations, stop panicking. My little one is 6 months and has just started being able to self settle SOMETIMES. I’ve done nothing to help her with this, fed to sleep, never let her cry, co sleeps etc. It’ll happen when they’re ready, in the mean time enjoy the snuggles whilst she’s so tiny x

I started sleep training (shushing/patting/pick up - put down/never feeding to sleep) at 8 weeks. For me personally, it was easier to go through a lot of effort in the beginning (between week 8 and week 10) and get the baby consistently sleeping through the night (7pm to 6.30am/7am with one dream feed at 11pm) from week 12.

Of course, newborns start developing habits from early on in their lives. I agree you shouldn't worry too much about bad habits but you can definitely encourage good habits - love for the cot and appreciation of good and restful sleep.

I roughly followed the following approach (I did not see this blog when I sleep trained DD - I followed advice from my maternity nurse which was very similar):

www.mybabysleepguide.com/2010/02/sleep-problems-by-age-newborn.html

DD is now 11 months and I am very happy she loves her sleep.

My DD had her first nights sleep at 24 months. They sleep when they want to.

They are not really robots that can be programmed for our benefit.

They are not really robots that can be programmed for our benefit.

It doesn't mean they cannot be encouraged to appreciate a good night of sleep. I remember my maternity nurse telling me "all my babies love their beds and all my babies never cry for milk in the morning". I initially thought her words sounded a bit arrogant but after following her recommendations I realised she was right.

My maternity nurse looked after 150+ babies over her career. She also had 4 children and 6 grandchildren of her own. I would consider her sample size to be "statistically significant":).

"My babies never cry for milk in the morning"

Maybe they know they wouldnt get any!

Maybe they know they wouldnt get any!

I do not think anyone can teach a hungry young baby not to ask for food. What is, however, possible is to (1) make sure babies get enough milk during the day and during the dream feed (until high calorie solids are introduced), (2) remove an association between "waking" and "immediate feeding" and (3) keep baby entertained for a few minutes after waking (that is where cot mobiles can be very useful).

In summary, newborn sleep training focuses on creating "positive associations" (aka "habits") that grow stronger as the baby gets older. It is not easy but (1) it works and (2) it is an option for parents who might not want to wait until their child eventually grows into self-settling.

I did pick up/put down at 4 or 5 months, I forget - I wanted to make sure he was really able to sleep easily when he started nursery at six and a half months when I had to go back to work. It still means you pick them up at any sign of crying so to me that's not too harsh for that age, then when they're calm you put them down. It worked great for me, he has slept 12 hours straight from a young age, apart from the odd regression, and is now 21 months. I've put him down for a nap now and he's singing to himself and will go to sleep soon - very happy child.
But I agree different things will work differently for different children and it may be that all this would have happened anyway!

ACubed how did you do it? Pick up when they cry, settle, put down?

wintertravel can you recommend your maternity nurse to me?

Yes I would cuddle till sleepy, put down, when he cried pick him up and cuddle again until he was calm, put down. Repeat! The first time I did it loads of times, then it reduced quite quickly. I started with a daytime nap so it was less stressful.