14mo can't go to sleep on his own

[OhNoNinkyNonk]

Hi all

DS is now 14mo. 0-9 months were really not great, cat naps in the day and frequent waking at night. The only way we could get him to sleep prior to 6mo was bobbing on a yoga ball for 30 minutes

We have reached a stage where he (more often than not) sleeps through the night which is great. The issue that still lingers is actually getting him to sleep!

Daytime he always has two good naps, usually 1h to 1h15m. We put him in his pram and rock it for a bit to achieve this.

Night time we take him up for bath about 18:15 which he really enjoys, once out of the bath he just starts getting angry, he isn't a fan of getting dried and dressed and just wants his bottle. Once bottle is done we tend to just stay still and cuddle him, all this done in the dark and quiet. Some nights he drifts off quite quickly but recently we are trying for up to an hour!

We feel he is capable as he can sleep the whole night but he lacks the ability to doze off alone. If we stay in room he can get worked up, same as if we leave him so being with him doesn't seem to help. Tried patting/shushing/singing etc.

We are wondering if some form of sleep training would help, anyone had similar?

I would vote he’s either overtired or not tired enough, can you adjust bedtime? Sounds like you’ve been really patient with him so far so I’d avoid sleep training if possible!

OhNoNinkyNonk, when you put him in terms cot at bedtime, what happens in the hour or so until he is fast asleep?

As an aside, I would move his bottle to before bathtime, not after.

Could you move the bottle earlier? If he's angry till he has his bottle maybe he's getting hungry/in need of comfort. Perhaps if he stays calm he'll go to sleep ,ore easily? Or perhaps it's just under/over tired if his needs are changing.
Good luck! (Wish mine was this good!)

Sorry all, xmas took over and forgot all about this.

We don't put him in the cot, this is part of the problem to be honest. He has always needed us to do something to put get him to sleep, currently that involves giving him the bottle and then spending quite a while cuddling him and trying to put him down very drowsy. Naps we rock him in his pram.

He really has no/little ability to drop off on his own. He has drifted off alone twice in 14 months when he was quite poorly with a cold, such a rare occurrence we were shocked!

Putting him in the cot after bottle is met with either play time or mega screaming, especially if we leave the room. Maybe we have always taken the easy way out, even as a newborn he hated being put down or apart from us...

Last night as a fairly normal example for recent weeks, after bottle I had him down in 10 minutes at 7:20, he then woke at 07:40, and again at 11:30. Both times a cuddle sends him straight back to sleep. He also woke around 3 this morning but went back on his own.

Also I am struggling as 9 times out of 10 he is refusing to even start drifting off for DW so I'm putting him to bed every night as well as taking each overnight in turns. I don't want to deny him comfort but this is all taking it's toll!!

I don't know the answer, but following. My DS is 2.5 years old and can't get to sleep on his own. My fault for cosleeping I guess. I've no idea where to start with him being even in his own bed (he used to sleep in his own bed but with me laying with him to get to sleep, now his baby brother is here he's ended up back in my bed) let alone going to sleep alone

Putting him down drowsy in his cot, you’re part way there.

If it were me I’d put him down drowsy as you have been. If he cries, go back in. Rub his tummy or back, say a set phrase ( ours was it’s sleepytime) and leave. If he’s still crying, go back again, do the same thing again. Lay him down if standing, say your set phrase and leave.

Repetition is key. That way he knows you are there, he knows you’re not leaving him, but he learns to go to sleep alone. It will take time, but if you stick with it, I promise you it will work.

Shamelessly stolen from the Baby Whisperer,her book is awesome and saved my sanity!

And the first few nights you will be going going back in his room as soon as you have left! You’ll feel like you might as well get a revolving door in there!

Listen to his cries, see if he is trying to settle himself. It’ll happen.

It’s hard work but I believe nighttime parenting is just as important as in the day. I think too much is expected of little babies - it’s quite normal for them to need their parents to help them get to sleep. It’s not easy but it’s all part of it. Whenever you watch old movies and the like, people always put babies down asleep. My grandmother really doesn’t understand this ‘sleepy but awake’ thing. It’s all modern books etc that tell you you MUST do these things and babies must self settle at X age. They’re still really little and it’s actually biologically normal for some babies to not be able to self settle until around 2.5 years.

I do get that it is hard x