2 year old not getting enough sleep

[User24689]

Hi all. DD is 2 years 4 months. She was sleeping 7pm- 6.30/7am until 7 weeks ago, when DS was born. She now wakes anywhere between 4.30 and 5.30.

Up until a couple of months ago she slept in the afternoon from about 12-2, in her bed. She started refusing to do this a couple of months ago. On a good day, i can get her to have the nap on the sofa under a blanket if I give her some milk and put the tv on very quietly. She will also do the nap in the car or pram. All of this is really hard work for me now I also have a small and often crying baby!

I wouldn't care about the nap if she could cope without it but on days she doesn't have it she is completely unmanageable in the afternoon/ evening. She rarely wakes from the nap naturally because I can't keep the environment completely silent, so is usually woken by some sound and then cries and tantrums for about half an hour before getting herself together again. There is nothing I can do to console her when this happens.

And then at the end of a busy day when she is ovetired from lack of napping, she will only sleep for 10 hours, sometimes less. In the night, she will often cry out and shout, sounding angry. This is also since DS is born. If I go in, she either won't notice (eyes still closed) or wake up completely and then be up for at least an hour. She shouts things like No, I don't like it, I don't like the man (this one always upsets me), that's mine, etc etc.

When she wakes up in the morning she wakes up shouting and crying too.

I'm just so sad for her, she used to be a fantastic sleeper and her behaviour is really bad at the moment. I had thought it was all down to new baby but wondering if it's lack of sleep contributing.

I put black out curtains in her room because it is summer here and light at 4.30 but this hasn't had any effect, in fact she just tells me when I go in in the morning that she doesn't like the dark.

Any advice?

She could be scared of the dark. My children all (quite independently) became scared of the dark between 2y6m and 3y6m, despite sleeping in pitch black from birth.

I would also try an earlier bedtime when she's over tired. She needs the sleep somewhere.

Could it be toileting related? Very wet nappy making her uncomfortable? Or toilet training making her aware she needs a wee?

It sounds like she is being disturbed through the night, not just early morning. So white noise (fairly loud) may help drown out background noise. If it's summer, a desk fan is great for white noise.

But mostly, I think she sounds over tired. I'd keep going with her lunchtime rest hour and encourage sleep. Did you change the way she goes to sleep when baby arrived, or is it exactly the same?

Thank you. I'm in no doubt she's overtired. I will move bedtime to 6.30 and see what happens.

She does tell me she is scared of the dark. She has a nightlight but it's not great to be honest, it's a little IKEA one which she loves but it gives off blue light and I think I might get one that gives off more light in a warmer colour.

Only thing that changed temporarily when baby arrived was I couldn't lift her into her cot so DH had to come in and do that bit (I've always done bedtime with her) She didn't seem bothered.

There may be different issues at play with day/ night. I wondered if she just generally felt she was missing out on something when sleeping?

Annoyingly she still does her 2 hour pm nap at daycare 3 days a week and I haven't noticed any difference in night sleeps on those days.

Oh and thanks for white noise suggestion. We do have that as she sleeps with the a/C unit running in the room (room temp around 27 otherwise)

Toileting - not yet toilet trained but we are beginning with that now. Its another change I hadn't considered. I feel like a lot of things have changed in her life lately so it's no wonder she's a bit unsettled, I just want to know how to help her! Appreciate all your suggestions.