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Sleep and behaviour problems

7 replies

Mumof12006 · 11/12/2017 18:43

Hi I am writing this in the hope that someone could offer me some advice or that someone has gone through something similar.

For the past 7 months my daughter who is 10 (nearly 11) has been having great difficulty and becoming very anxious about falling asleep. She is very scared as she says this girl (not real) watches her at night and tells her she will kill her, as you can imagine this causes her distress. My daughter will scream, kick, hit her head against the wall ect if we try and put her to bed. Let me just add some context to this - when my daughter was two years old I split from her father, this relationship involved DV, however my daughter still had contact with him and his family. 3 years ago she broke down and told us that her dad had been physically and emotionally abusing her, we contacted the appropriate agencies and she hasn't seen him since. However, her paternal grandparents will not see her either, they say that if her father cannot see her then they refuse too. As you can imagine this has caused her to feel very rejected as she had lots of cousins that she misses and she had a close relationship with that side of the family. Anyway back to the story - I cannot remember the last time she slept through the night, she will just lie there awake and becomes very angry that she cant sleep, she is scared at 3am as she said that her friends talk about the witching hour which is when the witches spy on you, she also wont have a shower unless I am with her as she got sent a chain letter via social media that tells some sort of horror story. I am exhausted and just want her to feel safe! her behaviour can be very challenging and she gets very anxious around bed time! I just don't no what to do anymore, she is under CAMHS at the miniute and they are worried about how distressed she is. I live with my partner ( daughters step father since she was 2) they have a good relationship and he is like a dad to her. Sorry for the essay but just so desperate for some help/ideas.

OP posts:
crazycatlady5 · 11/12/2017 20:46

Gosh, I’m sorry I don’t have advice but i didn’t want to read and run. That sounds awful for all of you, bumping so someone else can advise x

Mumof12006 · 11/12/2017 20:55

Thank you for the comment, it really is awful, just so exhausted with it all Sad.just really need to see a light at the end of the tunnel

OP posts:
Lallypopstick · 11/12/2017 21:12

What are CAMHS doing with her? I’d be reluctant to try anything that may compete with what they’re doing.

This may not be a solution, but would she sleep in bed with you? At least short term to give her some reassurance that she’s safe.

40andFat · 11/12/2017 21:15

My son has struggled with nighttime anxiety all his life currently 16. We haven’t got to this yet but I know they can be prescribed melatonin to help them sleep. Also we are currently looking into weighted blankets which are supposed to be very good for anxiety at night.

Mumof12006 · 11/12/2017 21:23

Yes she does sleep in bed with me and my partner goes in the spare room but it's not sustainable, she is currently on an air bed in my room at the minute but even then she's restless and up and down. She is under the primary mental health team and we are seeing a therapist, she said that she comes across very mature however her emotional maturity isn't as advanced as it seems. She said that we need to be reacting to her like we would when she was 4! We have been doing that but it's hard to keep up constantly and also seem quite patronising! They are doing a state of mind assessment (not quite sure what that is) and they have put her on a waiting list for psycho dynamic therapy.

OP posts:
Mumof12006 · 11/12/2017 21:24

Really? Does he get scared? Hallucinate? They haven't even mentioned medication to us. I'm worried that it will get to that though.

OP posts:
40andFat · 11/12/2017 21:42

No it’s nowhere near as severe as that he is autistic and has generalised anxiety. What if he doesn’t get to sleep all night what will he do. Health anxiety what if he didn’t wake up, his heart stops he chokes in his sleep and so on. No hallucinations that sounds very frightening, medication is definitely possible. My son has to have lights and sounds to do tv music etc he cannot fall to sleep in the dark no chance and if he falls to sleep and wakes up he has to have them back on.

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