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when your baby has daytime naps...

17 replies

rachelracket · 11/12/2017 11:25

please explain. the routine? what do you do? how do you assist or does the child just fall asleep? how much do they sleep?

my son will only slow down enough to sleep when he is EXHAUSTED and fussing to the extreme. he will also only nap on the breast. sometimes he will nap in the car, if he's in the car and not napping he is screaming blue murder as he doesn't like being pinned down. I am NOT going to be driving for 45min+ 2x times a day to get bare minimum naps out of him but thanks for your same as ever helpful suggestion DH Hmm. he's 8mo and I'm getting soooo sick of spending every minute of my life thinking about his sleep which is also hopeless at night (unless he's with 5inches of free ranging boob then he's an eleven hour angel Hmm)

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ElphabaTheGreen · 11/12/2017 11:37

You won't spend the rest of your life thinking about his sleep. Mine are three and five now, and I don't think one jot about their sleep.

At eight months, though, they both napped on the breast or in the car. There was no other way. Once I stopped trying to fight them over this (mainly DS1 - I'd worked it out by DS2) my life got so much pleasanter. Plan a sit down in front of the telly, or a good long MN session about 2.5 hours after he wakes up in the morning, and have snacks handy. Let him conk out on the boob and have a lovely rest. He'll be so much happier when he wakes up having had a full nap in the way that he needs at his age.

For his post-lunch nap (again - 2.5hrs after he woke up from his first nap), plan a drive somewhere, let him conk out in the car, then lift him out and clip his car seat on to the pram base (I assume you have one of those?) and do something while he finishes his nap, or do a repeat of the morning. Being an idle fecker, I always plumped for two 1-2 hour arse-parks. Grin

Back to work full time now and the number one thing I miss is lying snuggled with my babies watching trash TV, eating crap. I do not miss trying to convince them into a cot for naps because it was utterly fruitless and just resulted in less sleep for everyone.

rachelracket · 11/12/2017 12:03

thanks Elphaba. i like your approach. often, this is what we do (bliss i quite agree!)Grin unfortunately i have dedicated the morning to this exact pursuit and it's just not happening. so he's sitting on the floor screaming as I'm now trying to get us ready to try a pram walk because he's fucking exhausted but has crawled off at every opportunity for rest 😑

OP posts:
ElphabaTheGreen · 11/12/2017 14:05

'Routine' is one of the worst things that was ever invented for mothers. The number one Western mark of a 'good mother' is that she 'got her baby into a routine from early on'. No, the fuck, no, NO. I subscribed to this for DS1 and spent my time self-flagellating when I wasn't thinking about his sleep. I realised this was a total myth with DS2 and had a much, much happier mat leave. Sleep deprived for me, yes, but DS2 was much better slept than DS1 and I have no regrets about time wasted on trying to impose things on him that were a waste of time.

Most babies will not follow the same pattern every day (as you are seeing today, it would seem). Some babies will and, just to fuck with you, society or the parents themselves will put that down to marvellous parenting. No, they got lucky with a baby who likes to follow a socially acceptable schedule.

Some days will be easier than others, some will be harder. This has nothing to do with you. A baby who wants to nap and sleep on the breast is a normal baby as sucking plus a gutful of sleep-inducing tryphtans in BM make staying awake impossible. They're bloody hard work, and frustrating, when you've been reliably told from the start of time that babies sleep in cots and go four hours between feeds, but that there is the only conflict - expectation versus the reality.

On days when I had a nap dodger, I might abandon first nap attempt, then attempt again 15-20mins later, pulling out big guns - boob plus bed plus dark room plus white noise. At eight months old, I was confident enough to have him under the duvet with me (unless you're at risk of falling asleep like this, obvs) to make him extra cosy. That would then be Netflix on an iPad with headphones job for me so as not to disturb him to keep him asleep. Then I'd sniff his head for an hour or so while eating chocolate

user1493413286 · 11/12/2017 14:13

My 7 month old naps roughly 2 hours after waking for anything fro my 30-90 minutes then 3 hours after waking then either a cat nap 4 hours later or bed depending on the day.
I keep an eye on the time/her getting irritable then rock her to sleep in the pram; sometimes she cries a little. She often falls asleep out and about or in the car too. I wish she would fall asleep in her cot in the day but she seems to need the rocking and she sleeps well at night so I go with it for now.

FATEdestiny · 11/12/2017 19:10

rachelracket - exactly how much do you want your baby napping to a routine and independently?

I really mean "exactly how much..."?

You need to give some thought to it. Because getting your baby sleeping in the cot and to a routine is definitely possible. Without question. But...

But it won't happen easily. You will need to make a decision with absolute and unwavering certainty. It will involve some stress and crying from both you and baby. You do not need to leave baby alone and un-comforted in order to achieve this. And it won't be long-term.

RebeccaNoodles · 13/12/2017 08:43

I'd like to know too!

I've been giving extra help with most naps (buggy, sling) because she seems to find settling in the cot too hard after the first nap of the day. But it's getting exhausting and now I'm also thinking maybe it would be easier for her if things were more predictable eg naps in cot at set times with routine ... she is 6 months.

Sorry to hijack OP but would love to know any tips!

NerudaIsHeaven · 13/12/2017 09:50

My DS is a toddler now but his naps didn't become consistent until 6 months when he dropped his third nap. Up until that point he would only nap in his buggy. But only INDOORS in his buggy because he was a PITA. Would never nap in his cot.

Then at 6 months he dropped nap 3 and suddenly started self settling to sleep in his cot for 2 naps a day at 2 hours each. It was bloody heaven. He didn't drop down to one nap until he was about 15 months. Now he's nearly two and just has the one long lunchtime nap - about 12 - 2.30pm.

I have no idea how it happened. The one thing I DID do was make sure that 1) we had a nap routine and 2) I was quite consistent about sticking to the timings for naps - eg if there was an activity which clashed with naptime, we didn't go. It was quite restrictive but the alternative was a grumpy tired baby, so I preferred it.

I think be consistent with set times for naps.

RebeccaNoodles · 13/12/2017 14:25

Thanks. Yes that makes sense - only thing is her naps are still v frequent and short (about 4 x anything from 30-60 mins). So it would mean not leaving the house much ... which is fine, but also a lot of extra work for both us! Maybe I'll start with establishing the first 2 naps and build from there...

happymummy12345 · 13/12/2017 14:31

When ds was very small he fell asleep while having his bottles.
When he got older, we simply put him in the crib, cot, toddler bed and he fell asleep on his own.

Celticlassie · 13/12/2017 14:41

My baby will only fall asleep in her bouncer (apart from when she's absolutely exhausted). I then transfer her to her cot, where she normally sleeps for 1/2 hour but sometimes for as long as 2. We're having no luck with routine though. If we're home I try to encourage a nap every couple of hours but by the time she's asleep it's often nearly 3.

Celticlassie · 13/12/2017 14:42

Should also add, she's 8 months. Still waiting for her to settle into a couple of longer ones as everybody assured me she will. Wink

ememem84 · 13/12/2017 14:54

DS is 11 weeks. I was trying to “routine” him but it’s not working. If we’re out and about he sleeps in the pram. At home sometimes I can get him to nap in his basket. Right now he’s asleep over my shoulder. He had half his bottle pushed it away Bd fell asleep mid burping.

NerudaIsHeaven · 13/12/2017 15:12

I might try consolidating her naps in that case - at 6 months 3 naps is ideal. It just might mean an earlier bedtime.

When my DS was still having 3 naps I think his routine was:

7am awake
9am-10am nap 1
12pm-1pm nap 2
3pm-3.30pm nap 3
6pm bed

He had a 6/6.30 bedtime for aaaaaaages. Only now he's 21 months is he leaning more towards 7.30.

NerudaIsHeaven · 13/12/2017 15:12

DS is 11 weeks. I was trying to “routine” him but it’s not working

At 11 weeks I wouldn't expect him too :) Just be consistent and it'll pay dividends in the end.

NerudaIsHeaven · 13/12/2017 15:12

argh, TO, not too.

ememem84 · 13/12/2017 15:24

@NerudaIsHeaven im working on making sure he naps at some point in the day. Morning or afternoon. He’s super grouchy early evening if he doesn’t. Plus side is that for the moment he’s sleeling 9pm to 530am.

Currently we are curled up on bed. He’s snuggled onto my shoulder. I’m half under the duvet.

We have to go out in bit but I’m sooooo comfy here. Baby snuggles are the best.

I know it’s crazy to try and routine him this early. I think this was where I was going wrong. Expecting too much.

Sleepyhead1667 · 14/12/2017 08:30

Try making the first nap later. Since I have been doing this, my 7mo Is much more settled, is more tired for first nap and sleeps longer because of it. Then the rest if the day follows on well. I put him down for first nap 2-2.5 hours after waking. Used to be 1.5 hours and I had to feed to sleep. He now self settles most of the time.

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