What's the deal with naps?

[Bumdishcloths]

Ok. I hate the word nap, and the apparent obsession with them. I have an 8 week old son and he sleeps at various points in the day but I can't see a pattern - and I'm not that fussed about it, just curious. When do you notice a pattern in their sleep that you would call a nap? Do they naturally nap at set times or is everyone forcing it? And how the f**k do you force sleep? I just don't really get it, I suppose, because I'm not over invested in getting a 'routine' going and I'm just going with the flow, but wondering if I shouldn't be...

Prusik it was a good cry not a bad one Hormones!

I found EASY was kind of backwards as we found bf naturally led to sleep.

So a flexible routine could be ESYA which basically means being flexible!

DD was about 14 weeks old when she seemed to stop just going to sleep as needed. Before then it was just as you describe and I just let it happen. As she neared 4 months she started getting crabby, and I happens to read about awake time and transitions in baby sleep development. Lo and behold, if I actively tried to get her to sleep (bouncy chair worked for us) about two hours after first waking, we avoided the grouchiness. It changed my life! I thought she was getting "difficult" but she just needed help to get enough sleep.

What you doing sounds perfect for where you are now. The way they sleep changes and you'll probably find you need to adapt. FWIW we've never been very routine driven - she's always seemed to have more naps than the "experts" recommend and not sleep for as long. I kept awake time as a guideline and just kept an eye out for what her limits were. We've always been a bit flexible as I find it easier than having a by-the-clock routine - so I might get her off earlier if there's something that would get in the way of a nap or push it later if she sleeps for longer than usual. You can still be flexible and led by them, but there does come a point where you need to start helping them get to sleep and so need some idea of when to do that!

I think it shows thought that whatever works for you (ie feed before or after sleep) y ou and your own baby will fall into a natural pattern. I found it easier to take cues from the baby and go with it than force a routine. Others prefer structure. either is fine.

I actually agree with user. DD is three months old. Until two weeks ago I didn’t understand why half of this forum seemed to constantly be wanging on about daytime naps. Suffice to say I currently have a choice between a mile-long walk round my neighbourhood every two hours or a ratty baby who screams the house down from 4pm.

Hummus

Bumdishcloths I didn't follow any particular routines for my 2 even though when my first was born about 12 years ago everyone was either Gina Fording or Baby Whispering. I found trying to force something from a book on to a little human being to be soul destroying and pointless. Just left me feeling useless and crap at the whole parenting thing.

The best advice I got was from a lovely health visitor at the baby clinic when dd was about 8 weeks old. I sobbed on her shoulder after another night of trying "shush pat" or some other shite. Anyway to summarise, your baby will eventually start having longer and longer awake periods during the day so that the amount of daytime sleep will start to reduce (assuming they are sleeping at all during the day right now!). And that's when I started to see a nap pattern emerge.

For example (am not sure I am remembering the amount of wake vs sleep time 100% correctly, mine are now 8 and 12 so it was a while ago, and it's only a rough guide anyway) by the time they are 4 to 6 months old they can stay awake during the day for 2.5 to 3 hour stretches at a time, so you will possibly see a pattern emerge where around 3 hours after waking up in the morning your baby will be sleepy / grouchy etc and need a nap. And so on....until at some point they will probably only need one biggish nap in the middle of the day. And then the reason it all matters is so that you can have a decent night's sleep out of them - time of midday nap and length used to impact on bed time at night and length of night sleep i.e. what time they wake up in the morning.

But as I said, I went with the flow and it sort of worked itself out once I relaxed about it. You'll get to know your own baby's pattern and what works best for you and the baby and your lifestyle. I always wanted the dc's asleep at a reasonably early time in the evening so that DP and I had some time to ourselves, but the payoff was that they have always woken fairly early in the morning. I'd rather have had that in the toddler years than a toddler up with us until 9pm at night!!! So in order to achieve that I had to make sure they napped at lunch time early enough and not for long enough to stop them being tired at 7pm for bed, although when you get in to that pattern, you don't have to force anything because they naturally can't stay awake all day. If my dd when toddler age was up at 6 in the morning, she was easily ready for her nap by midday and would fall asleep wherever we were (in her cot if at home, in the buggy if out and about).

I have never been rigid with sleep times, my youngest is 8 Months and will have 3 longish naps a day, we know when he needs it as he shouts at us.

@CappuccinoCake - the reason is that if you teach your baby to associate breastfeeding with sleep and not to sleep without it, it can be distressing for the baby if they need a nap and you aren’t there, or when you come to night wean later.

The very basic level needs of a baby are:

Safe and protected
Adequate calories
Adequate sleep

Just as you should not put your baby in a position where they are not safe...

Just as you should prioritise baby getting enough calories before anything else...

So you should prioritise baby getting enough sleep before anything else...

How these three things are achieved varies between families. But these are the single biggest priority for a baby.

Fenella- or Not! I've happily weaned 2 kids and know many others who bf happily!

Cappuccino I am simply explaining the reasoning behind it being EASY. I’m not saying anyone is doing it wrong by not following it. 🙄

I know the reasoning. I just disagree! I wouldn't want it to worry someone they were doing the wrong thing by doing it the other way around.

I also don’t think EASY is the most realistic routine for a BF baby unless you schedule breastfeeds which doesn’t make sense in my opinion. Plus milk helps to release sleepy hormones :)

I breastfed with EASY. I found it suited the face that naps were frequent, so were feeds.

What I like most about EASY is that you can very clearly define "tired signs" from "hunger signs". In the early months these are identical so it is complete guess work. With EASY, knowing baby us fully fed means that the next grumble indicates tired. No guess work involved.

What is necessary for EASY is a way to get baby to sleep easily without feeding. AKA Dummy. If you're only method of getting baby to sleep is feeding then EASY is not an option for you.

your

I never really thought about routine until recently. I just followed my baby and put him down for a nap after 2 hours of awake time (between 5-7 months). Now I have a good nap schedule, he is sleeping so much better.