Night terrors??

[lizzlebizzle33]

Hi so my 20 month old who was previously a good sleeper had been waking up several times in the night screaming uncontrollably. Sometimes DH can get him back down but often he had to come and sleep with me or we have to just let him get up or he won't stop. I should add he also thrashes around banging his head on the cot so we can't really let him cry it out.
So the rest of the story is just before this started happening we we brought home DS2, DS1 extremely unimpressed. Fist week we had ds2 in our room next to his he was being woken up by baby crying and me being up feeding etc so we decided until he got used to the sound of him I would sleep with ds2 downstairs.
I'm hoping for some advice on what could be the cause of his screaming and what I can do as aim getting no sleep, with bf a newborn and dealing with the screaming from ds1 I'm going mad!!

Is it separation anxiety because he knows downstairs? Is it jealousy or nightmares? Please any advice welcome, we need help!! Thank you

That sounds v v stressful! Is your older son awake when he’s crying, or asleep? If he’s awake it’s not a night terror. It could be nightmares or generally being upset about the new baby. Understandable! How is he with the baby during the day? Either way it will probably pass. If I was you I would take the easiest road at night to comfort him and to get some sleep just because things are so hard with a newborn as it is. You know your son is a good sleeper and will likely go back to that once he feels more secure after all the changes. I would try to make sure he gets lots of attention during the day, keep to his normal routine as far as possible - I’m sure you are anyway. Good luck x

Ps maybe consider ruling out any physical illnesses eg earache for the crying/headbanging too x

Hi thank you for replying. He is awake when he's crying, usually shouting for me but I can't always go to him if I am busy with baby, so dad goes to him and he will either settle down and he can get him back in his bed or he will completely flip and refuse to even be picked up, throwing himself backwards.
If I manage to go to him he wants picking up but won't settle down until I take him out of his room. So then I end up with him on the sofa with me as he will not let me put him to bed, he screams when I leave the room.

He is getting better with baby in the day, still not his biggest fan but he will bring me nappies and try to brush his hair. He even gave him a hug yesterday so I know he's getting better with him.
It's so hard to give him the attention he wants when baby still wants feeding all the time it seems, I try my best but unfortunately the TVs in quite a bit just so I can get things done like the dishes or making his breakfast/lunch. Dad is working nights this weekend I'm dreading dealing with them both on my own . 😩

My DS had night terrors but like fish said he was asleep screaming and thrashing around but eyes closed and no getting through to him. We just had to ride them out, keep him safe etc. He’s 2.4 now and we haven’t had one for a while. We had another baby in the summer and DS had all sorts of strange behaviours, up at 4 in the morning, not napping for days on end when clearly exhausted, hitting the baby whenever possible, going nuts and breaking things whenever I was feeding her. The full works. However I can now say 5 months in he’s pretty much back to normal and quite good with her most of the time. So what I’m trying to say is I think it’s probably just the shock of having a new person in the family coming out at night. As for how to deal with it, my DP got left to deal with DS mostly (god he’s brilliant) and I dealt with the baby. He travels with work a lot though and has just been away so I know how difficult nights can be. I just did my best, we were up a lot, and then tried to rest and catch up once he was back. Good luck you can do it!!

Oh yeah and biting, lots of biting, me his dad the dog, oh toddlers!

Thank you it's good to know that this is kind of normal and there is hope!
He hasn't been too bad the past few night but he is now getting up at 5 am 😩 me and baby are moving upstairs tonight as I'm fed up of sleeping on the sofa downstairs, baby has outgrown his Moses basket anyway ( waste of money ) so we're moving him into his cotbed, another hurdle. Wish us luck!xx