Help with toddler getting worse at night!

[OutComeTheWolves]

If anyone can help me I'd be very grateful as I'm getting towards the end of my tether and haven't spent any time with dh or my other kids in the evening in weeks. I've never really had any problems with my others sleeping, so this has taken me totally by surprise and I'm now at the point where I'm so exhausted that I can't see a solution I just go for the quickest route to sleep.

So toddler is 2 1/2 and has always been a great sleeper. I could just put him in the cot awake and leave him and he'd chatter on to himself for a little while then go to sleep. Then a few months ago he started needing me to stay in the room while he fell asleep. I thought this was just a phase so I did it. However then he started taking him about 2 hours to get to sleep - at this point I stopped daytime naps but it has made zero difference.

Anyway things got worse when he got a vomiting bug & I was scared about him throwing up in his sleep, so he slept in with us for almost a week. After that we've been unable to get him in his own bed. I wouldn't mind co-sleeping if I had some time to myself in an evening but he's still taking hours to get to bed so essentially I'm going to bed at the same time as him.

I've tried making his bedtime later (moved from 7 to 8.30) but he just gets overtired and fights it even more.

Like I say I've been very lucky to have had three good sleepers up until now so I've never needed to sleep train although I have nothing against it (& until recently would have accounted their good sleeping to my awesome bedtime routine ). I feel a bit awkward about sleep training a toddler who understands that he's crying for mum and she's ignoring him but I'm currently willing to do whatever will work.

Just a couple of things that might be helpful - this all started when he got a bed but we had to get one because he started climbing out of his cot and I was worried he'd hurt himself. Also I'm pregnant with number 4 and keen to get it sorted before he arrives. I don't think pregnancy has anything to do with ds's sleep problems as it all began before he knew about it but I can't be sure.

Sorry for the long post. If anyone has made it through and has some advice, I'm all ears!

Oh and forgot to add, even when I was getting him to sleep in his own bed, he still wakes up around 11 so would have to start the whole process again and then 5 in the morning. At least if he's in with us he just stirs at 11 and then will sometime sleep until 8am when I have to get him up so I can get the others to school.

Just a little bump in case anyone can help!

I’m going to be zero help but I’m in exactly the same boat so watching with interest.

The only things I can offer that have helped slightly is no screens near bedtime, when they chat to you in bed, just shush or ignore it. The more you engage, the worse they will act.

Lurking for any other tips!

Well it's nice to know that someone else is in the same boat dolly. Fingers crossed someone will be along soon to put us out of our misery!

Failing that wolves, I think we’ve earned some

I would not have put any of my children in a bed until they were past their 3rd birthday and had established good sleep hygiene.

All you've done us transferred the cot climbing behavioural issue from a cot were it's easier to deal with, to a bed where it's a million times more difficult to deal with. Ah no point have you actually solved the issue, and it is the same issue just now in a different format because of the bed instead of the cot.

I would firstly put toddler back in a cot.

Then do a process of rapid return. Kiss, get toddler to lie down, say a bedtime mantra ("sleep time now, we lie quietly at sleep time. Nan night" or similar), leave, close door and listen at the door.

Any noise or movement, return immediately and repeat. A hundred times or many more initially. Especially if you don't go back to a cot and have the added issue of getting out of bed. But it should reduce quite quickly.

Repeat at bedtime, nap time (if relevant) and any wake ups

Thank you Fate that sounds like sensible advice. We still have the cot ready for number 4 so will move it back into ds's room.

Sadly dolly I'm off the wine until this one arrives so you can have my glass tonight!