SIDS guidelines and getting baby into a routine

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My babies are nearly 3 months old now. More and more are people (mother, MIL, HV) talking about getting them into a good bedtime routine.
As it is the babies are with us downstairs until 10ish, we then take them up, turn the lights off. Change them, feed them and put them to sleep but by the time I'm done this might be 11.30.
To get them to bed any earlier would involve me and DH sitting in the dark, whispering to each other for a few hours before bed each night because as I understand it they should be sleeping in our room until 6 months? Hey were premature and low birth weight so at additional risk for SIDS. Is this what people Do? HV says their bedtime is too late but I don't know how to make it earlier without completely sacrificing our evenings every evening. They won't settle with the TV on.

I sit in the dark with my baby (8 weeks old) 🙈 He's recently been very clear that he needs to be properly in bed by 7pm, and needs a dark room and white noise to settle properly. So I go and sit with him and watch tv if I can get away with it (with subtitles, bloody white noise!) or read my kindle etc. I tend to go to sleep between 9-10pm myself anyway so it's only a couple of hours. The downside is that I don't get to spend much of the evening with DH, but it won't be forever. I'm personally too paranoid about the SIDS guidelines to leave him alone with a baby monitor/frequent checks. I'm sure some people would think I'm totally nuts though, so I would repeat the above advice of doing whatever word for you and your family.

What I found useful is to review actual historic SIDS stats and to make my own decision:

bmjopen.bmj.com/content/3/5/e002299

The relevant information is in Figure 1.

SIDS peaks between 7 to 10 weeks. It spikes up again (although to a lower level) at 12 weeks and then (again, to a lower level) at 16 weeks.

If I had been making decision based on this info only, I would have gone for the cut off of 16 weeks but my DD is a very light sleeper and she became very aware of her surroundings at around 8 weeks. I moved her into her own room at 12 weeks. By that time she was sleeping 7pm to 6.30/7am with one dream feed.