Own room - waking Mum

[Kif]

Can I ask MN advice/experience?

We've had a nursery set up for Dd since before she was born. However, 'a few weeks in a basket by our bed' has turned into four months (and a mighty snug fit in the basket). Last night she slept in her nursery. She's perfectly happy to do so, but I've found that I'm not nearly so responsive to her. I woke this morning to her crying - not hysterical, but I'd guess she had been unravelling for 20minutes or so. Feel quite bad about it - when she's next to me, I 'catch her at the first bounce' and she never has to cry to get my attention. Not nice wiping up tiny tears before breakfast.

Those MN whose Dd/Ds's sleep apart - is this just how it is? Do they have to cry to wake you? - is that normal? Will it change? Or am I just insensible to the monitor (up max volume btw)? Any tips? Do I need more routine/later waking to make this work without tears (she is consistently sleeping 10-5)? Would a digital monitor help? Should I set an alarm for myself? Or is she just too little to be away? Not really got space for a full size cot in our room... but we'll squeeze if we have to...

Questions, questions... advice much appreciated.

I've got three kids and all three have been put in their own room from an early age, purely because they (and us) slept a lot better (dd1 in particular was DREADFUL, very snuffly and snorey) . The thing is, thinking a few months down the line, you really don't want to be leaping out of bed for every whimper as you want them to be able to settle themselves back to sleep without you unless they need a feed.
IME, if the cry is really distressed, you'd wake like a shot.

Agree with sticky note. you will both get a better nights sleep if you let her settle herself now and again (and I am not talking about controlled crying but the occasional yelp is allowed). I am a really light sleeper and dd has a habit of thumping her legs on the mattress really hard which keeps me awake so she was dispatched to her own room at 4 months. I don't have the monitor on either as it crackles too much.

Also need to add that I'm a very heavy sleeper (never wake for storms) but have always woken for a crying baby.

one night is early days, kif, it will settle down. we didn't do monitor either, only for downstairs. give it a week and you will all be in the routine

Kif, if you are not sensitive to the monitor and she always wake up at the same hour, setting the alarm clock slightly earlier may help you to be more awake when she starts to cry. But agree with those who say that they need to learn to settle by themselves, of course if she's hungry early in the morning that's a completely different scenario.

I am a very light sleeper and DS went into his own room at 5 weeks. Why? Cos I used to lie awake listening to him and boy was he a noisy sleeper!!I never sleep well when he's in the same room as us on hols.

My DH is a very heavy sleeper and he also worries about the fact he doesn't wake up. Personally, I envy him .

I agree with the others that it's not such a bad thing to let them settle themselves sometimes. If it was a load distressed cry, I'm sure it would rouse you.

Your DD is safe where she is so no harm will come to her. I used to be so upset if I missed the change in breathing and the snuffles that meant DS was about to wake up, but I realised it's so much better if he can wake by himself and then be happy in his cot without me being there.

He talks and sings to himself for ages now before he shouts for attention. Oh and sometimes sings himself back to sleep

BR

You really don't need to do anything! Believe it or not, you're doing fine . You don't need to bounce at the first squeak, if anything, it's better if you don't and she learns to settle herself. Before you know it your dd will be sleeping later and later...bliss. You heard her when she cried hard, that's what matters, so you know that you'll hear her if she really needs you.

Thanks for encouragement, everyone.

Will endeavour to not be soppy.

The fact that she is current;y kipping with me, breathing in my ear, is only due to the monitor playing up. .