Don’t understand drowsy to asleep

[Meepmoop]

Hello,

We’ve hit the 4 month sleep regression and it’s wearing thin.

Everything I’ve read says to teach them to self soothe and put down drowsy so they learn to fall asleep but I cannot put DS down without him full on crying.

When I pick him up he falls back asleep, put him down and he cries. It just repeats with me making repeated attempts all through the night.

I have a cot right next to me in bed as I cannot co-sleep as he won’t tolerate being put down in my bed either and it’s not a route I would like to go down. DH is a very heavy sleeper so I don’t feel safe doing it.

How do I get him to self soothe as he won’t lie down calmly.

He has numerous naps throughout the day (around 5) although these are only around 30mins/hour at a time.

Please help I just don’t understand how to get him to self soothe.

Thank you

Well some just don't OP.

I know it's hard..but so many articles and books give advice as though it's gospel and it's just not. It will pass though...just keep trying to slide him out of your arms undetected

4 months is too little in my opinion. Regressions are hard going but sometimes it's just a case of riding it out and doing whatever you can to get them to sleep.

My dd is 7 months and still can't aelf settle. I'm sure she will just not yet .
The 4 month sleep regression was hideous, but it is just a phase and honestly, it passes.

I agree with spam some just don't. My non self soothing, ds currently wide awake next to me. When he's tired I can successfully put him in the cot as he's nodding off, especially if I've warmed the cot with a hot water bottle first. I've given up on self soothing and just do whatever it takes to get him to sleep. I have had some success with adjusting the daytime naps, although not enough because here I am at 4 am and we've been awake for an hour and a half.
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/self-soothing-is-bollocks-says-baby-20171015137482
Although a spoof I think it's quite accurate!

I'm a firm believer that they'll self settle when they're ready. I had friends doing all sorts of methods including leaving them to cry, put down pick up etc etc but it never felt right to me and they really struggled. I bf DS to sleep until he was around 15 months and then one night he just pulled off of me awake so I tried putting him in the cot and he rolled over and went to sleep and has done it ever since!!
Afternoon nap took a little longer - I didn't feed him but would rock him and then one day he pointed at his cot and now he does that every time.

I feel there's a lot of pressure to get them to self settle - have known a couple of people get sleep consultants in - but honestly, they will do it in their own time.

then one day he pointed at his cot and now he does that every time.

Aw....bless him!

Seriously my first never did this ever - did exactly as you described. I did rock to sleep which then progressed onto back rub, then sit next to cot, then sit by door...all this took 14 months.

My second self settles - different baby and different personality. After evening milk he is completely awake, put in cot - hear him playing about for about 15 mins then goes quiet and is asleep. This isnt the holly grail for me as at 7 months still wakes several times in night and up early.

I honestly think it's all developmental and eventually they get there xx

I think drowsy but awake is bulls**t

www.belfastlive.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids-news/cant-your-baby-sleep-shattered-13817398

I do too but everyone is telling me I need to stop feeding to sleep during this regression. Aargh!

@Lallypopstick tell them thanks for your (outdated old fashioned) advice, but I’ll carry on. Feeding to sleep isn’t EASY for a reason, it’s biologically natural and normal, breastmilk releases sleepy hormones and it works very well. Keep going!

Agree 100% with @crazycatlady5 (must be a cat thing). Please don't worry about other people's 'helpful advice' - I know you end up thinking 'will I still have to do this when they're 5?' but they really really do sort themselves out in the end, when they are ready without any harsh sleep training methods.

Thank you everyone, makes me feel a bit better.

I felt like I was really missing something

The only babies I know who could do this had dummies. As neither of mine did, they did not learn to self settle til about 7 months. And that was when we moved them into their big cots. I must admit with my second I co slept following the 4 month regression and my husband slept on a fold out bed!

How do I get him to self soothe as he won’t lie down calmly

The answer is to give him a dummy for sleep.

This "drowsy but awake" thing is all very easy, can be done from a tiny newborn age and all it needs is consistent and persistent use of a dummy

Dummies are AMAZING.

The single best no crying sleep solution you get baby sleeping independently. Simple, easy, readily avaliable.

Any other self soothing method will either involve:

• dependency on an adult
• some degree of crying
• time

I agree with the dummy post. I have yet to find a young baby who can self settle without one. I bf mine and used a dummy to settle. The dummy stayed in the cot, never used it anywhere else and they all settled straight after a feed. All the babies at nursery who didn't have a dummy would have me rocking, soothing and patting for ages to settle them, even at almost 2 years old. Get lots of dummies and use them.

Everything I’ve read says to teach them to self soothe and put down drowsy so they learn to fall asleep but I cannot put DS down without him full on crying.

You need to expand your reading horizons. ;)

I’m another one whose had success with a dummy. I bloody love them! I introduced it at about 6 weeks though, not 4 months. Worth a try if you haven’t already. That and playing white noise helps DD go from awake to asleep in her own cot and has done since about 10 weeks. Magic. didn’t help her sleep through the night though