Baby doesn't settle from 4am

[ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual]

Ds2 is 6mo and has been a tricky sleeper. We’re in a good place now, in that he goes down at 7pm and doesn’t feed until between 2-4am, usually 2.30am. He might need re-settling once between bedtime and feed, but it’s easily done.

Then after his feed he goes straight to sleep. Again no problem.

The issue is that between 4-5am he always wakes and it’s an absolute nightmare getting him back to sleep. I bring him into our bed and sometimes he goes back down, but more often I end up holding him in bed, rocking, and that only gets another 15 mins of sleep or so.

I don’t mind the feed at all and not looking to drop it, but being up at least once in the night and then starting my day from about 4am is killing me.

Any advice on how we might tackle this? Ideally I’m looking for him to stay in his cot after his feed until 6am, so max 3 hours sleep post feed. We’ve avoided doing much about it until now because we’re trying to keep things quiet so as not to wake ds1, but now that ds2 is that bit older I think we could try some gentle sleep training. But I don’t know what method to try! We did gradual retreat with ds1 but that was at about 10/11 months, not sure if it’s more effective for older babies?

I suspect it’s the 6 month sleep regression which while utterly exhausting is just a phase in baby’s development. I would just advise keep doing what you’re doing and eventually he will get the idea that it is not time to wake up yet.

I doubt he’s hungry if you are feeding him still so the sleep regression is my best advice really. Hopefully someone will come along with better ideas. Good luck OP! I have a 5 year old and a 1 year old so know your pain.

You could also try adjusting his bedtime to half an hour to an hour later?

Thank you shutty. I did wonder whether just riding it out is the way to go and that’s what we’ve been doing til now. But a bad night has me doubting myself! I don’t think it’s a regression because he’s been like this since birth, always in our bed/being rocked from around 4. But then his sleep used to be appalling and that’s slowly improved so maybe this will too?

His naps need sorting as well because he takes them all on me. Urgh, why can’t babies just sleep?!

My DS is also 6mo and does this probably a few times per week. He’s awake for an hour and a half then goes back down again. Haven’t really got any advice sorry. We’ve tried later/earlier bedtime and changing overall nap lengths but don’t see any pattern 🤷‍♂️ So I’m just going with the flow and hope it ends.

When he does do this, I look at the positive and think I’ve got to stay in bed till 7/7:30 instead of his usual 5:30/6 am if he has this awake period.

I would definitely stop allowing naps on you, it’s lovely as newborn but at 6m I think now is the time to start laying him down to sleep, so hold/rock him until he’s sleepy then straight down in cot or pram etc. He’ll probably protest but I would try and break the habit now before he gets too much older. Maybe napping on you is not helping when he wake early as he needs you to hold him...? just trying to throw out some ideas for you, this baby sleeping game is a tricky one!
Does he have a dummy?

I totally agree. I’ve found naps so tricky this time, originally I was trying to settle him in cot but it was taking literally hours, and poor ds1 was abandoned. But I’ve got to get it sorted now. I’ve not made any plans next week so we can try and get it going.

He won’t take a dummy unfortunately. I’ve been trying for 6 months

Does he cry when he wakes at 4am? What happens if you just leave him? My DD did this for a couple of weeks at 6 months old. I found that if I went in her room and switched her night light on, she would happily lie there and coo at that for a while. I’d go back to bed! She doesn’t do it anymore. We sometimes have 5am wakes and I do the same thing. She will often just go back to sleep after half an hour or so. I used to try and make her go back to sleep with the dummy, rocking etc but in the end I decided that if she’s not crying, just leave her be.

Mrs he sort of cries, sort of talks if that makes sense? Not a proper cry but not very happy. I’ve being going in to get him so that ds1 isn’t woken but I agree leaving him to it is worth a try. Thanks.

No advice on the early wakes, sorry, but I would say don't stress the naps. My DD only ever napped on me till she was 10 months and started nursery. That sorted it out for her and now all her naps are in her bed. I wasted a lot of time stressing and crying because she wouldn't nap in her cot, leading to her not napping at all and being very over tired as a result. Don't worry about forming bad habits, just do what you need to do - I find battling sleep day and night was physically and mentally exhausting and really affected my health.