I am going mad

[selectcopypaste]

My two and 5 year olds are killing me with refusal to sleep.
Here’s our daily routine.
5 we get home from nursery/school
530 to 6 we eat while watch tv
6 to 7ish we do bedtime routine of shower, pyjamas, book and then bed

They share a bunk bed. But previously little one had a cot and would jump out and older one had a toddler bed.

Every night this is what happens from 7 onwards.

Older one screams and gets herself into a state that she doesn’t want to sleep as she’s scared. I try and address her worries but she goes on and on until she is red in the face. I hug kiss and am firm but she goes on and on until it is at least 8. She has a small light which she keeps on in the top bunk.

Small one kicks and hits me repeatedly. Until I cry. She pulls my earrings and glasses until I cry. She does this while laughing like a lunatic. She understand that she’s hurting me but she just laughs like it’s a game.

She won’t stay on her bed so I have to stay with her.

They both need water and milk. Which I don’t give as I know they don’t need it. But it’s another distraction.

It’s usually 9 by the time they fall asleep and I am in tears as I have to then go and do housework all exhausted and in bad mood.

I can’t have guests in the evenings as I have to stay with he kids until 9. I can’t leave them with nannies as they can’t get them to sleep.

What can I do? Please help.

@FATEdestiny usually pops up on these boards with sound advice, listen to what she says!
I’m sorry you’re having such a shit time, sounds awful xx

Are you by yourself or do you have a partner to help?

I would remove your glasses and earrings before you put them down to sleep.

Think about stopping TV as bluelight makes the children think it is day time.

Stop tv. get cleaner

What are they like in the daytime selectcopypaste? Because they are running rings around you at night. Having firm boundaries and high expectations of behaviour isn't a switch you just switch on at bedtime. Maybe the children need clear boundaries and expectations all of the time? That then makes it easier to establish better behaviour at bedtime.

She understand that she’s hurting me but she just laughs like it’s a game.

You are expecting empathy from a 2 year old? Stop taking it so personally. She isn't deliberately hitting and kicking to be malicious to you personally, she just is and it's getting a reaction. So change your reaction so that she understands it is not acceptable.

It sounds like a holistic approach would work best, with challenging behaviour overall, not just bedtime. Many sure start centres or health visitors run courses that could help.