Should I just give in and co-sleep?

[AshGirl]

DS is 7.5 months and used to be an OK-ish sleeper. However, over the last couple of months he is getting worse and worse at sleeping in his cot.

Last night he was awake / unsettled about every hour from midnight until I lost the will to live and brought him in about 5am. He slept for about half an hour and then DH got up with him while I had a little cry

He usually sleeps great from bedtime (7-8pm) until his last feed (11pm) but it’s the period after that, and also daytime naps which are the problem.

We settle him in our arms on the bed, with dummy and blanket, and then transfer to the cot, but he wakes up straight away or very shortly after. If we put him on our bed he will settle and sleep straightaway.

He is currently lying on our bed fast asleep, and I don’t want to transfer him to the cot for fear of waking him (already tried to put him down several times).

Can anyone offer any advice? I can’t leave him in our bed on his own as there aren’t any rails and the bed is in the middle of the room.

(Just to mention, DS has a probably developmental delay so it is very difficult to know when he is hitting those ‘leaps’ which cause the sleep regression)

If you got this far, thanks for reading! It may be slightly garbled due to sleep deprivation 😴

I would definitely leave him where he is for his nap. I’d also recommend lying down too but then I’m also lying next to my 10mo whilst he sleeps. To be honest I do it every day!

Naptime sleep is different from daytime sleep, although they do affect each other - I just mean you don't necessarily need to do the same for both. Have you tried dropping the 11pm feed? He may well not need it and digesting it in the middle of the night might be what's disturbing him.

Is his cot big enough, do you think? Maybe it's not warm enough to help him back to sleep after 11pm feed/in the daytime.

I napped with my son in our bed every day until he dropped the nap around 3. I tried harder with the cot for bedtimes as I liked the time out and by about 9 months he'd sleep on his own all night

I had a similar problem with my first. Began co-sleeping (safely) then magically began getting a decent nights rest and feeling human again. Have co-slept since day one with my 2nd and still going strong.

It does depend on how you feel about it - would you want be able to do it without worrying etc. Is your DH supportive. Is your bedroom setup ok?

But you do what you feel is right for you and your baby good luck to you

You could try warming the mattress with a hot water bottle until you're about to put him in it.

If you want to cosleep then just do it! If it works for you and you all get more sleep then it's a no brainer. If you don't want to cosleep then you need to work on settling the baby in his cot. He needs to go from awake to asleep in the same place that he's going to wake up. Dummy is good. Perhaps try introducing a comforter at the age too, white noise can also help. Decide which you're going for and stick with it!

I co sleep at night and for daytime naps at home. I read or take my iPad and work, or I watch TV. DS will sleep in the car or in the pram, and he’ll go down in his cot for DH, but when I’m on my own I just take the path of least resistance and everyone’s happy! It’s not worth the angst.

If you want to co sleep the go for it. At least you’ll get some sleep. I’m quite lucky with dd, she’s 6 months now but from about 12-14 weeks she has slept in her cot from 7pm - 5am then she has her bottle then I put her back to sleep in our bed until she wakes at about 7.30. This is only because I refuse to get up at 5 and she still seems tired anyway. However before 12 weeks it was an absolute nightmare. She barely slept, day or night, and when she did it had to be in my arms (daytime naps still are as I cannot put her down!) and would only be for an hour if I was lucky. She had quite a few medical issues when she was really little so once those resolved It was easier getting her into a bedtime routine. She really loves water so I bath her every night, not always wash but just let her have a splash around, then get her ready for bed and in her sleep bag the give her her last bottle. Sometimes she’ll fall straight to sleep so I’ll put her in her cot, other times I might read her a little book then put her in her cot and play her the lullabies from her white noise machine and she drifts off on her own, but I sit on my bed so she can see I’m there otherwise she gets a bit upset. It took a few weeks for this to settle but now it’s works really well for us. Sorry for the long reply! But you could always try something like that? Just a little routine for you both.

You could always try and settle him with the blanket in the crib as it’ll still smell like you and place a gentle hand on him.

Dummy and blankie only for cot and carseat, never for big bed. If he's cranky and wants his dummy then he goes to his cot, end of. If he associates his comfort tools with his cosy cot he's more likely to settle there. If and when you lift him out of his cot then take away his dummy and blankie and sit him on your hip rather than holding him across your chest and rocking him, if he shows signs of wanting his dummy/needing to sleep then lie him down and pop it in. Of course you should hang around initially and pat him down as he quiets himself, but ultimately if you're giving him self soothing tools you should give him a chance to use them.
If you want to co-sleep go ahead. I co-slept with dd1 until she was two and a half and now she's 23 and still pops over for the occasional sleep over in the big lady bed!

Thanks so much for replies. I did go back to bed with DS this afternoon and feel a bit more together now!

Will read through and respond properly a bit later.