Help me with co sleeping

[longarm]

Name changed for this as I know it is against guidelines
So dd is 5mo and sleep is an issue. To get her off to sleep I have to put her in our bed before she will even settle in the cot, and then move her over before we go to bed.
My question is on the very few times dh has not been in the bed at night I’ve kept her with me but with no duvet on her and she’s slept so well and I like her being there with me, so how can I safely co-sleep when DH is in bed too? I haven’t done it yet because obviously a duvet over us with her in the middle would either suffocate her or make her too hot. How do people do it? Google searches are not giving me that kind of info!
Tia

I used to put DS in a sleeping bag and then he slept on top of the duvet inbetween me and DH. Not saying it’s safe, but it’s what worked for us.

Ah alive thank you I hadn’t actually thought of that. She’s usually in a sleeping bag so that could work. May have to get a larger quilt to stop it being half off our bodies

Ideally she should sleep between you and a barrier of some kind rather than between the two of you, i.e. from left to right the bed is DHyouher--wall or bed guard. This is because you are likely to be more attuned to her and less likely to roll onto her, especially if you are breastfeeding her. Sleeping bag for her is probably the ideal solution and then she can lie on top of your duvet.

Thank you for reply, both very helpful suggestions for me. Think a friend may still have a bedguard that was used for their dd few years ago I could ask to borrow

Our set up is that we have a double sheet over me and DP with single duvet turned sideways across our feet for warmth. Then we each have our own small blanket. DS is in a sleepsack and lies between us on top of the sheet. The blankets are small enough that they don't go near him, and the single duvet means there's no temptation to pull it up ( we tried keeping a double duvet down at waist level but it's just too tempting to snuggle). I do miss a proper duvet but it's worth it at the moment to be able to co-sleep through teething and sleep regression

Oh, also we push our pillows right out to the sides so there's a clear 30cm gap in between, his head is lower than them any way but feels safer

Do you have a cot or anything like that still in your room. I spent a lot of time co sleeping in the first 3 months. Our beds in the middle of the room and I just kept the next to me cot he was MEANT to be sleeping in where It would be if it was being used. Then it went DS, me and his dad. That way DS wasn’t right next to his dad, as I didn’t trust him to not roll because they don’t have the same instincts as us, and also there was the extra space on the other side because the cot was level with our bed if you get what I’m saying. But you could always get a bed guard. I would put the wee one in a sleeping bag on top of the duvet and have this lower down on me than normal. I just started wearing a long sleeved top to bed for that. If you’re worried about the duvet you could just let DH use it and you have your own smaller sheet/ sleeping bags. Honestly, what ever you decide to do, once you’ve done it a few times you will totally relax about it.

Do not sleep with her between you. It's not safe. She needs to be in a sleeping bag, outside the duvet and only next to you, with either a bed guard or the bed against the wall (or in a cosleeper cot).

What guidelines is it against? Mumsnet? Or SIDS? Lots of people cosleep!

As pp’s have said it ideally should be baby, then you, then DH. Next to baby should either be cot with side off, or a bed guard x

Thanks everyone. I’ve taken the side off the cot this afternoon and up against my side of the bed so we will see how that goes tonight x

Good luck longarm :)