How do you cope

[Bartenderandthethief]

How do you cope with very little sleep and work?

My nearly one year old is a bad sleeper, worse than my first and I thought she was bad. I was back at work last week and I am already struggling.

How do you manage?

Sleep training.

Keep telling yourself it’s not forever, and go to bed early occasionally. Get your partner to give you one lie in on the weekend. Remember your bub needs you now but eventually that need won’t be so prevalent

Ha you have both ends of the spectrum there!

I have handed my notice in as I returned from maternity leave with my second child, but that may not be a useful or practical solution. So some more practical help:

If you can't sleep train, maximise your sleep by making the nights as easy as possible for yourself. If that means cot/toddler bed in your room, so be it. My vote goes for sleep training once at work because it also helps with daytime sleep in different settings, but every family is different.

Know that now you are working, everything to do with home life should be shared fairly with DH. Housework, night duties, parental responsibilities etc

Try to get some exercise and fresh air

Realise the value and indulgence in going to bed early. Some people stay up late because they prioritise child-free time over sleep. Until night sleep improves, it would be highest priority for me.

Set realistic housework expectations. Similarly as above, place sleep above non-essential housework in terms of priority use of your time.

Practice mildfullness and a lie relaxing even when you don't sleep. Having half an hour in the dark and quiet without looking at a screen or doing anything is valuable even if you don't sleep.

Learn the value of napping in the daytime. Snatch sleep whenever you can at weekends and days off.

Cosleeping. And taking it in turns with DH to have the spare room.

I'm not sure that I did, it made me ill, mentally and physically.

I spent most of my time feeling physically sick, dizzy, constant headaches and very low in mood.
I don't "do" ill health, so I soldiered onwards every day on 2-3 hours sleep for 5 years.

I was also angry and somewhat bitter with family/ friends who knew but did absolutely nothing to help or support us.

I worked both day shifts and night shifts. I had no childcare at all so worked nights and looked after my son all day. At weekends I could go to bed as dh was home,. I got some sleep then, but then was woken up by fecking delivery vans, noisy neighbours, blah blah blah.

I remember feeling isolated, like no one gave a shit and some days desperate.
When my son started school and turned 5 he slept a whole night through, I thought he was dead! I ran into his room panicked.

Some great advice from fate also a factor in me becoming a sahm. Mindfulness is really helpful, I particularly like something called the 3 minute breathing space which is really useful if sleep deprivation makes you anxious as it does me.

Why don't you take a work from home option if its there? If not take up such job. This way you can stay awake and work at night while your baby is not sleeping.

I ended up going part time as full time 5 days a week was a struggle, am staying part time for few years

I worked FT on very little sleep for 7 months until she slept through. It was hell on earth and my work really suffered. I am going back again shortly and will be in a similar position with no.2.

What I did to survive was -
Drink loads of water day and night
Take pregnancy vitamins
Eat a big cooked lunch
Confide in one colleague to help/support
Be off sick if I was ill rather than soldier on
Go to bed every night without fail as early as a could
Have time alone in my house once a week for 2hrs (DH take DD out)

Finally I compressed my hours to four days but by the time that went through she slept through lol

It's really tough and nearly broke me and I'm quite tough myself lol

Xx