Bit of background my husband walked out on my daughter and I just over two years ago. We have had to move twice in that time, our new house is in the same area to our family home and is opposite daughters school. Ex and I get on in the main but I am beginning to see a mean selfish side to him.
He has DD two nights a week (tues and wed, note no weekend night, which means I have absolutely no life) and Sunday 11-6, we both work full time. Daughter has sleep regressed so much since our last move in June. The only way I can get her to sleep is to co sleep, she always starts in her bed but ends up in mine anytime between 2-5am, yet she always slept at her dads. As I have her 5 nights co sleeping was the only way I got any sleep, but she is a fidget.
I then put in place that she couldn’t sleep with me but could sleep in a makeshift bed at the side of mine (thinking it was uncomfortable she would give up and sleep in hers). She is now waking her dad up during the night several times and he delivered her back to me at 5am last week refusing to have her until she can sleep through the night. He has also refused to have her today. As you can imagine she is heartbroken, which hasnt helped the situation.
Apparently this whole situation is my fault and I need to sort it. If I try to put DD back in her bed she screams like a banshee, she shakes with fear, begs me to help her sleep. I have to give in as I fear the neighbours reporting me she makes that much noise.
She can’t explain to me what the problem is apart from when she wakes she can’t switch her brain off.
I don’t believe she is being naughty (as he does), but now I am stuck with a little girl who misses her dad, and a idiot father who tells my I am too soft on her. I don’t know which way to turn and I am at the point of no return. We rely on him heavily financially and in the early days he would threat to withdraw financial assistance I’d I didn’t dance to his tune, however this does seem to have settled down of late.
I have tried bath, no bath, lavender oil, sleep meditation app, hot drink, laying with her, soft music, nightlight, bedtime story, getting her up and putting the tv on (which resulted in us both being up all night), moving her furniture around in her room, letting her choose all new bedding and couloirs for her room to make it nice, you name it I have probably tried it. My GP has been no help what so ever.
I don’t want her relationship with her dad ruined but on the other hand his tough love stance is just pathetic. He very much came from the the school of hard knocks and his parents are very cold, I on the other had had a lovely childhood even though my parents divorced when I was 7.
Last night was horrendous, screaming, begging; crying gripping on to me, clawing at me yet as soon as she was in my room on the makeshift bed she slept through the night.
Where can I go to get help for my DD 😥