help! 17mo, no previous record, suddenly won't go to sleep

[midnightexpress]

Our 17mo ds, who has always been a very good sleeper has suddenly started refusing to go to sleep. He goes down, apparently OK at about 7.30, but then starts crying a little while later, and works himself into a complete lather, regardless of whether we go in to him or not. When we do go in to comfort him, he won't let us leave the room. We spent about 2 hours last night trying to settle him back down.

We also have a 12wo ds2 and wonder if there might be a connection. DS1 was fine until the past couple of weeks though, and now that we are finally getting ds2 to settle at about the same time, this starts!

Just about at the end of my tether, as ds2 is v unsettled during the day and cries more or less non-stop from dawn till dusk, so not really up to dealing with ds1 from then until my own bedtime...

just a phase?!

I know that doesn't help! Our ds, 19mo, has recently started taking about 2 hours to settle each night - take him up at 8 and it's been about 10pm the last few nights when he finally gives in!

agree there could be a link with the new baby and that's unsettled him.

perhaps look at changing nap times to earlier in the day? or reducing nap time? last time this happened to us we reduced ds's nap to less than 1 hour, before 1pm.

not sure what we'll do this time though as we're still sticking to that!!

will keep an eye on what advice you get here.

good luck. sounds like hard work. it will get better though

your lucky,my ds(3rd child)slept till 8 months before relising being awake was better,my first 2 dc didnt sleep till they were about 3 and 4 or 4 and 5!
maybe having both bedtimes isnt such good idea at first as maybe he sees it as his time.i know its much easier for you if they both go down together but even if you try hour apart.not always convenient i know

thanks for these replies.

MLS - DS1 already has his nap in the mornings - hasn't had an afternoon nap for a few months now, so can't really take it much earlier. But good to know it's not just us! How do you go about settling him? DS seems to fall asleep but then yowls when we head for the door. I'm wondering about the go in, pat him, go out kind of approach but not sure.

Kitty - that's an interesting thought. We'd thought perhaps that he was doing it because he wanted more time just for him (he's at nursery in the mornings, and obviously doesn't get undivided attention the rest of the time). We were actually thinking about trying to put ds2 down earlier and then working on ds1, so perhaps that's worth a try.

Keep them coming!

yes kitty's advice is good

we're co-sleeping at the moment (long story but has been a turbulent few months!) so settle him by literally lying next to him and lying him back down 400 times until he gives in! with the odd bottle of water thrown in for good measure!
it's no good for me and dh though to spend all evening settling him so this is not a recommended long term approach!

but i'm confident it's another phase and will pass soon enough

he will be back in his cot as soon as we move house so if this is still happening my plan of action is to do just what you said. i'll make sure he's full up (supper e.g. piece of toast helps) then he'll have his bath, story, bottle of milk. then i'll leave bottle of water in his cot as that soothes him too. if he gets upset i'll go in, settle him, lie him back down, drink of water, blackout blinds in place! and no talking or fuss... and hope he'll get the message!! and if not, i'll just remind myself that in the not too distant future he'll be a teenager and I'll be the one trying to get him out of bed! good luck

Oh poor you MLS, it's grim isn't it, seeing your teeny window of grown-up time being whittled away? Didn't even manage any dinner last night . But having seen the 1st 17 months zoom past, I can see how quickly these things do pass, it just doesn't feel like it when you're in the thick of things. Good luck!

completely understand. especially with a 12wo too!

hopefully someone out there will have some words of wisdom for you....

or failing that you can let ds1 stay up as late as he wants eating chocolate and crisps and doing whatever he likes

bump