Opinions on co sleeping?

[Nainer123]

I co sleep with my baby. I've done a ton of research on it. I find I sleep a lot better and my baby sleeps a lot better. We started with the moses basket but he hates it, tried all the tricks of the trade. He would sleep when I'm with me.

The reason I'm asking people's opinions/experiences is I'm a ftm and nothing has felt instinctual to me as co sleeping does. Not even breastfeeding. When we were persevering with the moses basket ect I literally felt I was fighting nature.

I'm the same gillybeanz I wouldn't judge you on where your children slept. Whatever works for the children and parents. I don't judge people on their parenting ( unless their is obvious reason to) it's hard enough being a parent without people putting pressure on you judging. I've been co sleeping for 3 months and still look it up just to be sure Don't get me wrong I sometimes miss lying on my stomach and star fishing haha

Never did it - I slept much better without my baby in my bed and then room. I think I didn't sleep deeply whilst I could hear them even in my subconscious. I also felt it was safer - my Then H was a very heavy sleeper and I also wanted to maintain our relationship/closeness. You do still have to wean them out of your bed at some point - which I've seen co-sleepers find really difficult with an older toddler. And my 2 DCs were alwYs spoken of enviously by my friends as great sleepers as they learnt to settle themselves.

So I'd not judge either way but not doing it really worked for me.

Oh and I do know someone whose DD still co-sleeps with his XW at 11. It helped destroy his marriage - sex life stopped, and his DD wasn't able to go on sleepovers! Extreme one I know.

I have done it with twins....
not a lot of room in bed now but if you are safe I don’t see a problem
But just be safe with it

I've had my baby sleep in with me when she's had some bad teething nights and on many occasions from about 2 months she came in with me from any time from 4am, she immediately drops off when she's in with me, she's a cheeky one for it as honestly, I'd prefer not to for safety reasons (even though, like you OP, I don't move from my position) and I don't want a clingy baby. She's now in her own room and she doesn't come in with me as much. She does have her morning nap in my bed.

I have a super king bed with a mattress that doesn't move around when one person moves (me and husband sleep in separate beds, always have, probably always will 😂).

Whilst it works for some babies & parents, and it is very sweet, I love that my little one goes straight to sleep when she's next to me, I do it extremely cautiously and rather I didn't. I agree that the generally advice should continue as it is and that is that it's not advised. Whenever I wake up, the first thing I do if she's in bed with me is check she's ok.

Oh dear that sounds horrible, I'm definitely not planning to do it that long haha but Im planning on taking my babys lead. I've started getting him to nap himself. Starting off with me getting him off to sleep then putting him down. He copes a lot better with this now than he used to. He's only 3 months. So I am trying to get him used to me not always being there. Hopefully that will help the transition when it comes.

Absolutely fucking hate it. Uncomfortable, achy, terrible sleep. Buuuut it was sleep. so we did it out of necessity, and like you, I researched safe bedsharing so as not to fall asleep in unsafe places out of exhaustion. I was so pleased when he slept in his own bed though. I got the first decent sleep all year, even if it was only 45 minutes!

It certainly didn't feel instinctual.

Sooo glad we are no longer doing it.

*I will say, I hate sharing a bed with anyone, even DH!

i followed my instincts to co sleep and I’m glad i did. my 6mo is now sleeping in his cot sometimes and I’m very glad i took the time to be with him and not try to force separation which frankly seems unnatural to me. tbqh if it wasn’t for DP grumbling i’d happily still have him in with me full time... everyone sleeps much better, including DP he just thinks sex is more important than sleep so he’s obviously not as tired as he claims to be!

honestly the nhs need to change their stupid guidelines and instead emphasise how to co sleep safely and normalise it. if it was normalised to co sleep with your baby for as long as they needed it my dp wouldn’t make a peep about sleeping in the spare room and i’d still be having lovely sleeps with a happy little chappy instead of getting up and down as and when he wants a bf

Worked for us. DD1 didn’t like co-sleeping but DD2 was in with us from the off. Saved my sanity. Had a bed side cot right next to the bed with side down for the first year.

We co-sleep. Ds just wouldn't settle unless he was lying on my chest for his first few weeks. It was horrendous, I was terrified I was going to squish him. I was shown how to bf lying down and we haven't looked back. I get plenty of sleep and so do ds and dh. For a while I was able to get him to sleep in the cot (side car to the bed) and I leaned over and fed him in there. But once he started rolling, at around 5 months, I put the side of the cot back up as it was dangerous (in our particular set up). Now at 8 months he starts the night in the cot but usually ends up in the bed by about 10 or 11. I struggle to stay awake much past this!
It works for us and I love the cuddles. The only negative is that my dh isn't always able to stay in the bed when ds stretches out.
Oh and the comments from others .

I don't co sleep, but curious as to how it's actually done and how you make it safe? I never even considered it out of fear to be honest, I can't wait till my daughter is old enough to come into bed for a cuddle and not worry about falling asleep and squishing her!

Like others on here, never intended to co-sleep as our antenatal classes seemed very against it.

However, there were just some nights she wouldn’t settle in her cot and the only way she would go to sleep was if she came in bed with us, then she would fall asleep straight away (I swear she has leant if she cries in the night, she gets to come in the bed).

Some nights she will sleep all night in her cot but some nights she will wake at 2/3am and will not settle back in her cot - even if we get her to sleep and move her back to her cot the second we move away she cries.

Quite simply, it was a matter of survival and if she would go back to sleep by co sleeping, so be it.

She definitely sleeps better if we co sleep.

Like many here, we are unintentional co-sleepers. Or at least, DS and I are - DP sleeps elsewhere .

We've always started DS off in his crib/cot but brought him in with me on waking. He was breastfed, no covers went anywhere near him, and I don't smoke and barely drink.

I worried a lot more when he was tiny but any sleep was better than no sleep and we did it as safely as possible.

Now he's two, it's easier. He starts off in his cot bed but comes in with me when he wakes - he was sleeping through but went backwards over the summer following a house move. I love it now that he'll roll over and sleep, as it means I can too! I don't sleep as deeply when he's in the bed but I do sleep more deeply now than I did when he was tiny.

Like you, it feels instinctual. If he's upset in the day, I would always comfort him, so why not at night? But it's a very personal thing and I wouldn't judge anyone who did things differently - in our house, we follow the algorithm of whatever gets the maximum amount of sleep for the maximum number of people. This is what works for us, right now.

I was quite judgemental about co sleeping until I had my baby, when I ended up doing it almost immediately!she had terrible reflux simply couldn’t lie flat in her Moses basket. If I hadn’t let her sleep on me then we’d never have coped! But aside from that I also found it the most natural way to sleep when she was a newborn. I was told by a doctor that one if the reasons she thinks women stop breast feeding quite quickly, is because they are exhausted from not finding a way to safely co sleep. I think parents should make informed decisions, but ultimately do what works for them and their baby. We stopped co sleeping around 3 months as she was too big and wriggly and I think it was disturbing her. I was most exhausted then as I was still breast feeding every 2 hours in the night in her nursery, which I managed for another 3 months. But I still occasionally bring her into bed if she is unwell or wakes and can’t be settled back in her cot.

@willothewisp17 look up safe cosleepint lots of images and references, including ISIS (infant sleep information source! Not the other thing!) and UNICEF. It’s very normal in lots of places all around the world.

Like a PP I shared sleep with husband for 2 weeks when baby was born. But when it was my ‘shift’ (which it mostly was as baby wanted to breastfeed constantly) I fell asleep sitting up. I was terrified and immediately looked up safe cosleeping. That was 9 months ago and I’ve not looked back. We have a side car cot and she now has a feed and scurries/rolls back over as she likes her space.

Wouldn’t change it for the world.

I co slept with all 3 of mine, in a spare bed in the spare room. Easy to breastfeed (baby would latch on when they wanted then drop off back to sleep , I was pretty much asleep too).
DC3 is now 6 and comes in bed sometimes with ms for cuddles or whole night, but usually in their own bed.
Completely natural in my opinion - and certainly meant that when they were babies they slept through apart from quick breast feeds, and I slept through too - blissful. They were so calm and settled (though if I tried to sneakily get up then an eye quickly shot open as if to say where do you think you're going Mum )

To the person worried they will end up with a clingy baby/child, my older child, who coslept, is the total opposite. Extremely confident and outgoing. Still nice and cuddly at home though!

Interesting stats here. SIDS is very rare. Half over those deaths were due to co-sleeping (meaning the other half were in traditional "safe" sleeping environments like Moses baskets). But 90% of the co-sleeping deaths were due to unsafe co-sleeping.

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/07/Co-sleeping-and-SIDS-A-Guide-for-Health-Professionals.pdf

Sad fact is, no one really knows what caused SIDS and while you can take certain steps to reduce the risk, you can't completely eliminate it.

Funnily enough, I'm still to scared to co sleep after all the scare mongering.

I co-sleep with DD most nights because DD just won't settle.
Babies' need to be near the mother seems perfectly natural to me now.
However, if you had told me I would I had DD I would laugh straight at your face!

My mum was the one that encouraged it and showed me how to do it more safely.
I think she was worried I would have a mental breakdown due to sleep deprivation.
She co-slept with me for a good few months and I had no trouble sleeping as a toddler/your child. Lights out, door shut, no night time wetting the bed.