routine for a 4 month old?

[peacemama]

How do I get some kind of sleep/eat routine for my 4mo? Until now its been erratic - I have just followed him completely, which means that he falls asleep for his night sleep at different times varying from 5:30pm to 10pm. He has 2 - 3 day sleeps also at varying times. Also he is a snacker - I feed him to sleep and feed him again when he wakes up. How do I make his day sleeps and bedtime become regular? I am so confused by the attachment parenting vs routine parenting, that I am a bit all over the place! I think I want to do attachment parenting (we co-sleep) but I also think my lo and I would benefit from a routine. So how do I start one? Any advice from wise experienced mums?!

I think at this age, the routine is more about how long they stay awake for, ie putting him down to sleep (following a feed if that's what works)after he's been awake for a certain amount of time. Usually between 45 mins and 1.5 hrs at this age. You'll be able to tell by observing him how long he can stay awake without getting fussy. This will help him get his day sleeps in order.
What time of day do you bathe him? I found that bathing, feeding then beginning night-time sleep at the same time in the evening helped.
I didn't do co-sleeping but I don't see any reason it should be incompatible with baby having a routine.

So the routine should just fall into place on its own? I do watch for when he gets fussy and then feed him or rock him to sleep. I haven't been doing a regular bath time but that sounds like a good idea - thanks

It did for my two sometime between 4 and 6 months of age.
One book I read said as well as making the bedtime consistent, you should wake the baby in the morning if he has not woken naturally by 7 /7.30 am so that he ends us taking his first nap at roughly the same time every day.
I didn't want to do this, but as I was working 3 days a week ended up waking my first child about this time so that we could be ready to go out to the childminder's. Didn't wake him on the days I wasn't working but he usually woke by 8 anyway. I gave up work when DD was born and never woke her in the morning but she figured it all out by herself. I guess having an older brother helped!

The other thing the book said was that the ideal nap start times for babies up to 9 months are about 9 am, just after lunch (starting nap between 12 and 1pm) and late afternoon but no later than 4 so that bedtime isn't messed up.
The advice proved sound for me, the author is an american sleep specialist/pediatrician whose name I forget, but the book was really badly written and I wouldn't recommend it.

My dc3 is now 15 weeks and is just starting to fall into a routine, it's happened ovr the last week or so but he is starting to be more predictable.

He wakes up about 7ish (I'm also co sleeping) having been snacking on and off since about 6. He then goes back to bed at 9am for an hour or two. I tend to feed him briefly before he goes down so he doesn't wake up because he's hungry. I give him a proper feed when he wakes then he'll be awake for 2 - 2.5 hours when I feed him again and he usually falls asleep for 30 mins to an hour. He's then awake for another couple of hours, has another feed, often needs a little kip at 5pm ish theen goes to bed for the night (in his cot) about 7 - 7:30, after a feed. I express at 10pm and dh does the next feed when he wakes. He goes back in his cot then and comes into bed with us when he next wakes for a feed.

It's entirely led by him, all 3 have fallen into a very similar routine by about 5 months - I don't impose any of it, apart from watching for signs that he's tired or hunger. I'm a mix of AP and routine, in that, once they've settled into a routine I tend to stick to it, unless it's an exceptional circumstance.

I'm sure if you just keep watching him, acting on his cues and follwing his lead you will realise that he is actually in a routine and a bit of flexibility routines actually make it easier to get out and do things.

I second all that has already been said. DD is 4.5 months old and although I wouldn't say is in a routine, since she was about 3 months (when manic evening cluster feeding ended) I've always kept bath and bedtime so she's down at 7 every eve and everything else just fits in around that. Am not pro routine as such but follow the EASY method throughout the day so that DD's naps are dictated by when she gets tired. DD seems happy knowing that she eats, plays, naps and then goes around again AND it means I just don't worry about eating times, just offer the boob every time she wakes. Also, everything changes SO much as they grow that there's just no point imposing rigorous routine. Seems to me that they all eventually fall into their own gentle routine if you just follow their lead. As I said, my only set times of the day are bath at 6, bed at 7, whatever has come before. This sometimes means she wakes from a nap at 5.45pm but I still put her down by 7 even if it make take her a little longer to settle. I'm VERY lucky that she's a good little sleeper but I'm sure set bed time has helped her sleep much better at night. Also means that I know that by 7, my evening is mine!

Thanks,I didn't really want to impose a strict routine so that's all reassuring to hear

I'm EXACTLY the same as SydneyB. Bath at 6pm and bed at 7pm and then go with the flow for the rest and DD is very happy with that. There's no stress or anxst, she wakes up slowly, plays when she's playful and eats when she's hungry. One rub of the eyes and she's down for a nap in the buggy, so it doesn't matter where we are.

and DD is 41/4 months

The book that Othersideofthechannel is talking about is by Dr. Marc Weisbluth and is called Healty Sleep Habits HappyChild (or something like that). It's a bit boring to read, but it has really great information about sleep such as his two hour rule a baby should nap no later than 2 hours from when he last awoke, otherwise will be overtired. Lots of good info on sleep cycles and what to expect at what age.