11 year old crying every night that they can't go to sleep

[klc75]

My 11 year old says she can't get to sleep, she gets so worked up about this and cries for hours. Have tried explaining this will not help... have bought her a torch so she can read quietly and then try again, she doesn't go on her iPad or anything before bed. She is totally irrational about it then stands at the side of my bed refusing to go back to her own! She says nothing is worrying her and is happy during the day.. any suggestions?

Take her for a walk every night before bed time.
That does it for me b

What about a relaxation app to listen to? I have one that has a section specifically for helping you to sleep. It lasts 20 minutes and I’ve never heard the end! It’s called ‘Feeling Good’
It’s free for some sections but you need to pay for the one for sleeping.

Tell her not to go to sleep but just lie on the bed with the lights down low.

Is she Year 7?

My daughter quite suddenly started periodically appearing in my room in the middle of the night in Year 7. She did grow out of it, I think it was Big School anxiety. We let her come into us for a cuddle when she needed to. It soon stopped.

We had something similar, I took her to the GP, she said she probably just needed to break the habit of not sleeping so essentially gave me a strong antihistamine to help her sleep, after a few days everything was fine,she was sleeping better so not so irrationally and we were back to normal in no time, good luck

Tell her that nobody dies through lack of sleep ant it's just a habit she has got into that can be broken. Try to get her into a routine - sort out clothes and bag for school, bath, hot milk, read for a while.

What does she do if she can't drop off - us she fretting about something? She can get up and do something quiet if she can't drop off - it's better to be pairing socks than tossing and turning.

I distinctly remember this happening to me at that age. It was horrible and unfortunately my parents were not sympathetic.
I would suggest trying lavender oil in the bath, perhaps a drop of the oil in a body cream, and a relaxation app to listen to.

I have gone through this with my DS who is 7. A bit younger, I know, but the same symptoms.

No great advice, other than lavender drops on his pillow, and lots of quiet soothing. Fresh air, exercise, trying not to make a big deal of it. No underlying issues have caused it. Just seems to be a touch of developmental separation anxiety.

Hope you are both ok: it can be exhausting and distressing.

I like the idea of a relaxation app.
And lavender oil on a tissue near her pillow.

Have you got a pilates ball? If so get her to lay on the floor arms stretched out (face down) and roll it from her toes to her head, across her arms over and over again. It is so relaxing and a good wind down before bed.

X post with Missy.

Lush have a body cream called ‘Sleepy’ which contains lavender. It got a lot of press a few weeks ago and sold out. More in shops now. Natural remedies are definitely worth a try.

I have struggled to get to sleep since being a child. I have always found listening to audio books on really low helps me. There are loads you can download onto a phone or tablet.

Agree with lavender suggestion plus daily exercise. We also find warm milk at bedtime and a banana if peckish. My son was suffering from major anxiety (move to secondary school) and we taught him breathing exercises and 'compartmentalising' (putting worrues6in a box essentially). It took 6 months but passed finally.

I had similar happen to me at the same age. I sometimes moved to the spare bed; read lots; moved the bed round in my room; my parents gave me ‘permission’ not to fall asleep. Eventually I grew out of it but I remember watching the clock tick by and thinking I wouldn’t have had enough sleep by breakfast.

My DS went through this in y5 was worrying every night that he couldn't sleep - was frequently still awake when we went to bed about 2 hours after he did. Also went through phase of waking in the night and not getting back to sleep - he would come in to our room crying about it. Not sure of the cause but I just reassured him that no one died of lack of sleep and if he needed to put a light on and read that was fine. Seemed to pass and he is always asleep when we go to bed now (y6) and if he wakes in the night I don't hear about it.

Thank you everyone, will try some of the relaxation apps, she is in year 7 so could be all the changes I guess. She has an audio cd on low always has done, she doesn't do it when she stays with her dad I asked her why she said as she would nt go into his room because he would shout at her!
Will try some of the tips x

The doc and antihistamines sound like a good plan along with natural remedies.

We use guided meditations on youtube. There are some really nice ones for kids. Has revolutionised bedtime for us.