Alternatives to Controlled Crying?

[crayon]

We started sleep training DS3 (7 months) last night and ended up with a wierd version of picking him up and putting him down (more to wind him than anything else as he swallows air when he cries), controlled crying with me in the room, and staying by his cot and holding him.

I just want him to be able to self settle when he goes down at night and I know I can't give up after giving him such a miserable time last night. So, what are the alternatives? I haven't got time to go and buy and read all the books today so I was hoping some kind person might be able to educate me .

Many thanks in advance

Hello Crayon. My DS (16 months) has always been a bad sleeper and two weeks ago I tried controlled crying which flopped. I just don't feel like it's for him. Anyway, what we do now is I put him in our bed and sit on the floor. We sing nursery rhymes for a bit until I see him drift a bit and then I just sit on the floor until he falls asleep. The first night it took 45 minutes, but after that it's been getting easier. Gradually he's been waking less and less during the night and last night for the first time in months he slept through the night. Hope there's something in all of this that could be useful to you.

hi there

there are many individidual diluted versions of cc people do depending on what the main problem is.

My ds was wanting to breastfeed thru the night despite being 8 mths old and just over a week ago I started a softer version of cc and he now manages to be fed only around 6am. ( and sleeps thru until around 4.30)

What I did was make sure I didn't pick him up every time he cried, left him to cry for about 5 mins and went to him and patted his bum and sshhed him. He got used to this and then I left him of for a bit longer each time. ( how long you do it doesn't matter i think - it's concistency that's important)

At it's worst, ds was crying for a maximum of 1.5 - 2 hrs intermittently ( was quiet when I was in with him) so it was not as horrible as I thought it may be.

Good luck x

It sounds like you were doing pickup/put down more than controlled crying, which will help him self-settle- just give it a few nights.

I don't think you need an alternative- its what we used, and I don't think there is much you can do which won't involve crying, as you are changing your behaviour and he'll be confused and upset as babies like routine.

I bought the no-cry sleep solution book expecting a miracle solution. A lot was common sense (e.g. separate night and day/keep it dark/voices quiet, wind-down time, bedtime routine etc) and some of the solutions took many weeks and months. PUPD (and CC) should only take 3 days or so, but may involve some tears.

You just need to put him down as soon as he has stopped crying, and try and settle him without picking him up, by rubbing his back, talking softly etc. This way he will learn to relax and fall asleep without being in your arms.

As you say, you shouldn't give up now after he had such a bad time as it will have all been for nothing. Hopefully if you do the same, it will take less time for him to settle. They can have a blip after a few nights, but if you can get through this stage, it should be easier and easier. It was great to be able to say night-night to our DD and leave her to fall asleep and I'm sure it will happen for you. But you have to be strong and believe you are doing it for your DS (as well as yourself).

Thanks all. Not looking forward to tonight much .

good luck, try to keep yourself distracted when you are not in room.

ds was a terrible sleeper and didn't start to go to sleep by himself till about 9 months, he was lots more settled then. maybe wait a few weeks? it doesn't sound as though you're very happy with how it is going.

Amijee - I plan to be in the room mostly I think, he just gets so distressed otherwise.

Fishie - I don't think the time will ever be right to be honest, I also found it hard with DS2 when he was much older.

Thanks for your replies

I know Christie , but it's so hard and he's my last baby - I feel such a meanie!

I would be hard hearted about it if all the facts stacked up, but what is bugging me is that some of the psychologists and sleep specialists who used to say CC at 6 months, now say wait until 12 months. I have bought Richard Ferber's updated book today and want to read what his revised thoughts are. Until I'm 100% sure it's in DS's interest too, I'm tempted to stay in.

Did it Yay! I am so proud of him, and of me.

I stayed very close to his cot, comforting him in the cot every so often. He got very wound up just before he went to sleep, so he was holding my hand and fell asleep after 23 mins! He woke after about 4 minutes so I went back in, picked him up to wind him and put him down after a few huge burps and he went straight back to sleep with a few cries lasting 2 minutes!

Thanks for your suggestions

Thanks Christie .

you go girl! Am very pleased for you - and long may it last. You've done really well...it will get easier soon.

Thanks Amijee. Bracing myself for tonight; it's a different story when it's 3 in the morning and everyone else is tucked up, isn't it!