DD is almost 3, has had a dummy since a few weeks old. Only supposed to be for night time but it really crept up... a couple of months we managed to get it down to just at night, but she still whines for it during the day when tired (she does not nap in the day any more). Even though we don't give in, after 2m she still asks for it constantly when tired; and puts her hands, a muzzy, a toy in her mouth incessantly instead.
A few weeks ago we got her to sleep without it as a kind of trial run - she was extremely tired after a v long day and despite protesting she fell asleep moaning within minutes (we pretended we had left her dummies on the train we'd been on...). However at 2am she appeared in our room half asleep and utterly howling that she couldn't find her dummy. That time we just gave them back to her as the point had been to see if she would sleep through without one.
Next we tried to cut down the number in her bed (usually 4/5) to 2 and it resulted in broken nights for us all as she often couldn't find one or both of them... and she seems to need one in her mouth and one in her hand. After 2 weeks of this we returned to 4/5 in the bed.
She loves her book about the dummy fairy will reel off that she is going to give her dummies to the fairies and that she will get a pink bike when she does. She is articulate and seems to understand it fine, but she never actually agrees to do it when it comes to bedtime. She just says "I'm a baby, I need my dummy". Doesn't seem bothered when we tell her she can't do certain things if she's a baby.
We haven't been pushing it and I assumed at some point her wish for the bike would outweigh her love for her dummies, but it's not happened so far. I'm pregnant with twins due in January and I feel we need to make a proper attempt to ditch the dummy in the next month or so before my need for uninterrupted sleep becomes non negotiable. Plus, once new baby dummies start appearing there is no way we will be able to stop her putting them in her mouth all day long. (I would love for the twins not to have dummies but I'm trying to be realistic!). I also really, really want her to have the bike to help with getting around once the babies are here, but now we've said she can only have it in exchange for dummies we can't just give her one for her birthday or xmas. Stupid us!!
One idea is to do an elaborate letter from the fairies on her birthday with a nice bag and instructions to put dummies in hanging on a tree, follow a trail of glitter to the damn pink bike in the garden, and hope she has so much fun on it that day she doesn't want to have it taken away again ...?!
My mum suggested another attempt to reduce the number in bed, by attaching one dummy to a soft toy to make it easier to find, and hopefully make her less dependent and then try to get rid again totally.
We tried sticker charts and bribing with sweets but she just loves her dummy more than any reward we've suggested.
I know people will be thinking, just throw them away and let her scream when she wakes up ... but she's such a 'good' girl most of the time (sorry hate that phrase but it's useful shorthand I hope), helpful and kind and eager to please, and so although we're firm with her over behaviour we don't like, we've never had to resort to letting her scream or get really upset. I'm not sure I can take it :-( And I know with me pregnant and DH half-insomniac anyway our household will fall apart if we have more than a few nights of disruption. She will be wide awake at 3am when she can't find her dummy and it takes her ages to get back to sleep currently even with her dummy I can't imagine how we would get her back to sleep without it.
HELP!!! (and thanks if you read this far...)