Can I nip this in the bud?????

[batey]

My dd no.2 is 2 and 2m's and getting to be a real pain to settle down at 7.30pm. Her sis has always and still is a doddle at this so I've not had to deal with it before. They're in bunk beds and get in at the same time but 2mins after I've shut the door dd2 is up asking for juice etc.Allshe gets is a dribble of water and then told to go back to bed. Which she will do a couple of times. Then I show her a the waters gone, she'll then whinge behind the door for 5mins or so, then ask for a cuddle. I say cuddle if she's in bed, we do that. Then she'll be up again, I give one last drip of water, I don't go in the room and she gets into bed. Whole thing takes approx 20 mins.
I have left her to cry, but it seems if she's v. upset before she sleeps she's much more restless and will wake in that mood, screaming the place down. Whereas, if she's calm we get a better night. Tonight is also her first night "nappyless" and if she's too upset she's unable to hold her wee. I know many of you have a worse time than this, my sisters ds's were a nightmare until they were 4'ish. But I soo don't want to go down that road. The faffing has been going on for about a month or so, about same time as potty training, but I don't think it's connected. The potty lark has been all her doing.
Anyway any tips on how to nip my determined little girl in the bud would be much appreciated.!!

I personally would just let her cry it out. Shes at the age where they know exactly what buttons to push. It seems like you have tried your best with the drink situation which I know many parents go through this. When my two older kids were little I remember them always wanting drinks, to go to the bathroom and hugs and kisses a hundred times a night. This was their way of driving me crazy and staying up later. It got so frustating getting up and down to go in their rooms that sometimes I just let them cry in their beds. After I did the whole routine of drinks, bathroom, hugs and kisses at least once. What else can one do besides go through this ordeal all night every night which can practically take with some kids. I think you can only do so much. At some point I guess they just have to learn. I would defenatley not give into any more attention if you feel you have done enough when putting her to bed. May take repeated nights of this but eventually she will realize that your not going to keep going in the room once you tuck her in. I know this age is a challenging age. My youngest is 20 mo and has been a little tester lately. Good luck Batey.

What about bribery Batey or is she too young? If she goes to bed with no fuss she gets a small treat in the morning, could be worth a try.

Just a thought but you say that she's just been potty trained in the day and now she is going to be out of nappies at night (was this her idea or yours you don't say)do you think the night time shannigans may just be her subconscious way of saying ;hold on ,hold on this is all going a bit too fast for me on the independence front ,after all 26 months is fairly early to be in a big bed,and dry day and night.Perhaps she just needs a little bit of extra reassurance during the day ,I agree you need to be firm at night otherwise bad habits can set in,We did go through a stage like this with our middle one and we went back a stage for a few weeks and then moved on again with no problems.

WWW, I think she's too young for bribery, she's still very much "in the moment"!
Philly, the potty thing was ALL her instigation. Believe me i didnt want to do it this early. She's been aware of bottoms etc since 20ms, and dry at home for about 2ms. Last month she refused altogether to wear nappies in the day. And for the last few weeks I've had a real battle getting the bedtime one on. She's been dry at night for last 7 nights and for the majority of the previous 2 weeks. But I take your point about reassurance, as there have been alot of coming and goings in our house since April.How old was your middle one when s/he did this?

He was about 2.5 years and I have to admit it was about the time I returned to work,

I've been trying to be more reassuring in the day and lasts night settling down was a little easier. She is sooooo clingy at the mo., wants to be carried, held or on my lap at any opportunity.On the plus side though, so far so good w/out a nappy at night!

Batey, my toddler, nearly three, also wants a very extended bedtime routine. He went down easily as a baby, but after 2 years started to demand much more attention. In our case, I think it's part of him growing up. I don't think we'll ever get back to a quick 2 mins goodnight situation. I'm not even going to try for it. I can't ignore his cries either, becuase he will either come downstairs - he can escape from cot or stairgates with ease - or he will get so cross he makes himself sick.

So, I have attempted to modify the routine, so he gets what he wants and we get what we want - in the end!

He wants to fall asleep in our bed, so that's where he is put (once asleep, we move him out). He likes to have a drink to take to bed, so that's what he's given. He then asks for a small top up twice more in quick sucession. As long as he is given these, he usually stays in bed and will fall asleep. If he doesn't stick to this and comes downstairs he knows he will be put in his own room to sleep. Falling asleep in the big bed is his reward for being good.

I am not happy about making the association between his own bed and punishment, but once he is moved to his own bed, he usually sleeps through and wakes up fine in his room.

Soon, I hope to revamp his bed and his bedroom, to try and tempt him back there from the word go.

As you can see, I haven't solved the problem, because I believe that bedtime is not the time for a huge battle of wills. I have managed to impose some routine, though, and that's better than nothing IMO.

Ooohh, I'm such a dimmer. Answer staring me in the face, but do I see it, derr, no! Why don't i take her the water instead, if she stays in bed!! Gave it a go last night "Beanie lie down water coming". She did, took in dribble of water after 1min, 2 mins 5mins then by 10min gap she was asleep!!! No faffing, no screaming, no kicking door, upsetting big dd etc. Like I said, what a dimmer!!

P.S. Still doing fab on night-time dryness!!!??