Some random questions - 10mo

[stealthbanana]

Hi - DS is just 10 months. He has 8 teeth and seemingly never stops teething and is I think getting ready to walk - he can stand unassisted and cruise & walk if he's holding something (baby wheelbarrow etc) but not by himself. Reasonably good on solids but has the odd day(s) where he won't take anything. He won't take a bottle properly - I am back at work so he has 100-150ml during the day from a straw and then I bf him when I'm around including at night which is killing me. I had a couple of random questions I was hoping you lovely folks could help with:

• his morning nap - he has never been a long napper. Up until last week he tended to have a 30-60min nap arojnd 2-2.5hrs from waking (folllowed by a post lunch nap of 1-1.5hrs). His morning nap is now more like 3-3.5 hrs from waking. My question is how you fit it all in - if he wakes at 6am (ugh) this is fine as he naps 9-10ish, but if he wakes at 7/730 (usually because he's been up in the night) he's not napping until 10/1030 which is then throwing off lunchtime. Do I have to get him up at 6am every day (sob)?? Or do lunch differently??

• going to sleep. DS is like a jack in the box - he will NOT lie down. I often have to hold him to my chest where he will struggle and cry for 5mins before he gives up and then falls asleep (as he is exhausted). If I don't do this he can spend literally hours up and down in his cot or in my arms - which is not fun at 2am. Is this a phase? Should I be doing something to help stop him?!

TIA x

My Ds is 11 months next week.
This morning he woke at 7, napped 950-1110 (when I woke him), snack then lunch at 1230. Second nap at 230 and will wake by 4 if not awake. Will be in bed for the night by 715/730.

What Jasquers posted is a Tizzie Hall type routine which can work well if you can get your baby to take the second nap.
Otherwise the routine would be a short nap between 9 and 10 (30 mins absolute max), lunch at 12 and a second nap lasting 2 to 2.5 hours between 12.30-3.15.
Then bedtime at 7pm.
As for bedtime I would let him leap around like a jack in the box until he gets tired and lies down himself.

I've never heard of Tizzie Hall! This is the routine my DD did and she slept 12-13 hours at night so it worked well! Also, they do this at nursery so seemed to make sense to follow this at home too

Thank you! I think it's the first nap that's he issue though. By way of example - today he woke up at 730am. He went to sleep (somewhat reluctantly) at 1045 and slept until 1155. He's literally just gone down for his second nap now...which is obviously far too late. But HOW do I get him to take a first nap between eg 9-10?? He's just not tired!

As for the standing up - the longest he's gone is 2hrs before I've given up and intervened. Surely I can't do that every day?!

My son just turned 11 months today and routine is loosely like this:
Wake between 5-6am
Bottle 1/2hr after waking
Breakfast 2hrs after
Nap 3-3.5 hours after waking for 1-1.5 hour
Lunch around 12/12:30
Nap around 2 for 1-1.5
Dinner at 4:45
He goes to bed by 7-7:30
(If the first nap is 1.5 I only allow the second one to be 1hr and vice versa)

He also did the up down thing and leaving him didn't work for us either as he is very strong willed. We would lay him down and walk out for 2 mins, go back in, lay him down leave, 4 mins and so on. This worked for us but know it isn't for everyone

stealthbanana, I would say your first problem is as a direct result of your second problem. And that they are effectively one and the same thing.

This wanting to stand up thing is a nightmare phase, it needs you to be consistent and insist on baby lying down and being relatively still in order to go to sleep. On this basis, you holding him isn't great for the long term, it would be much better done in the cot.

As you are going through a phase of it being difficult to get him to go to sleep, it's going to be therefore difficult for you to know when he needs his naps. Because him refusing to go to sleep 2/2.5h after waking in the morning might be about inconsistent settling method, not that he's not needing the nap.

To answer this: But HOW do I get him to take a first nap between eg 9-10? in relation to my paragraph above, I would basically just insist that this is nap time and is not negotiable. To do that it needs you to sort out an "I mean business, you ARE going to sleep" settling method.

You mention holding him to your chest to still and calm him to sleep. I would take that idea and move it into the cot. So involves lots of leaning into the cot. Hands on chest/legs in a gentle but firm, cuddle kind of way. Any struggling against you and loosen the firmness, lift very slightly (a few cm) and put back down, starting the resettle again. Repeat a million times...

As for the timing of the routine, I would recommend setting an 11am limit to your morning nap so that second nap is 2pm. The aim then being 9/9.30am-11am and then 2-4pm, with a 7/8pm bedtime and expecting a 7am ish morning.

I've never bedn a fan of the Gina Ford short morning nap. All four of my children have kept a long morning nap and a long afternoon nap, until the morning nap moves later and merges with the second nap to make a gigantic 3-4h single lunchtime nap.

No idea whos routine that is (in terms of published authors). But it has worked best with all of my 4 very different sleepers.

I just don’t think you can force a baby to go to sleep if they’re not tired x

Fate thanks for your thoughts. I don't think DS has EVER slept 3+ hours in a day - can't imagine him having a 2 hour nap! Am also a bit wide eyed at the thought of telling him he HAS to nap - I am just not sure how I do that?

In terms of the standing up, the issue I have with the cot is that he is at the stage that he's using his head as a lever (hasn't figured out his arms are quite helpful in standing up etc ). So when I apply pressure from above I worry about his neck as he basically tries a downward facing dog style wriggle whenever I try to keep him down in his cot. I am wondering if it's a bit of separation anxiety as he just can't stand it.

Gosh reading that back it sounds like a lot of excuses - I promise I'm not trying to do that intentionally!

Hi Stealth
I’ve got 11 month old twins. My daughter goes to sleep fine but she wakes up every 2nd/3rd night jumping up and down in her cot. It started over a month ago and it’s got much much better. What I did was go in and lie her down and literally hold her down lying (she didn’t actually put up too much fight). Then I’d lie down next to her cot (I have this chair bed mattress thing in her room for the nighttime wakes ups) and put my hand on her through the bars. First few wake ups it would take about an hour before she was asleep, calm much before that but she was taking ages to go back to sleep. She’s still waking up sometimes but I stayed in the room less and less each time and last night for example I just went in once she had cried for a few mins (to make sure she wasn’t going to just fall back asleep) and literally lay her down and told her to go to sleep it was night time, held on to her for max 2 Mins said night night, Left and she was quiet. She woke 45 mins later and repeated. I woke her up at 715 this morning.

Re the daytimes - I follow a sleep trainer program (we sleep trained my son). So they are up at 7 (I wake them, currently trying to shift a little for the daylight savings at the weekend). Sleep 930-10, sleep 1-3, bed 7. My son is literally perfect wakes up between 645 and 7 every day and no issues with naps. If I have to wake my daughter at 7 she sometimes shouts about 930 nap and stands up. I leave her to it and she is almost always quiet and asleep in 10 mins. The short nap is meant to make them able to have a long nap later. I always have to wake them both from this 1-3 nap (usually leave it to 315 is not need to go out anywhere).

Sorry for long post !

I'm going through a similar thing with my 10mo who is hypermobile and will not go to sleep unless forced to.

On days when she's particularly mobile, I keep lying her back down, saying "it's time to sleep". Eventually she gives up standing up, then I put one hand on the top of her head and another on her hip/bottom (side sleeper) until she drifts off. I find the hand on her head helps calm her. You can also try holding both of baby's hands in your hand and holding them to the baby's chest. Apparently this is similar to their foetal position and helps calm them. I leave my baby's hands free though as she has started soothing herself by tugging her ears.

I find it helps to have the room as dark as possible, as sleep resisting babies tend to find something to distract them otherwise.

Have you got a little routine, even for naps? I find this important as then baby expects that nap time is coming. I just take baby into the bedroom, put the blinds down, dim the lights, sing twinkle twinkle and put her in bed. When I sing she starts yawning - I really find that the routine helps prepare her for sleep.