HOW DO I STOP HOLDING TO SLEEP?

[zakismum]

My DS is 16 wks old & goes to sleep at about 9.30 & wakes 2 or 3 times a night. This I think is normal. However, the only way for him to get to sleep is through me bf-ing him, then holding him & gently putting him in his cot ( praying that he doesn't wake him which 8 out of 10 times he does, and then we start again)

DO you think that I should try & stop doing this & if so HOW? Or will he grow out of it? (if so, WHEN?) Or should I wait til he is at least 6 months & then try a gentle CC method?

THanks for reading & for any advice you may have.

I think this is conmpletely normal. DS fed to sleep for months and months. He grew out of it - although I did night-wean him at 9 months, I never put any pressure on him to stop feeding to sleep. He just did it himself and by the time he was 15 monhts I could put him awake but sleepy into his cot and he'll chunter/sing/hump bedtime bear to get himself to sleep. 16 weeks is still tiny - I wouldn't worry.

FWIW, Dr Sears says that your child may well like to snuggle up to a breast to sleep when he's 18. But it won't be yours! Moral: They always grow out of it.

What happens when he wakes? Does he cry straight away? I do exactly what you do with my DS (6 weeks) but if he hits the crib awake, I still leave the room and watch what he does on the video monitor. If he cries then I go straight back in (no CC in this house!) and repeat the whole feed/cuddle/put into crib thing. But most times now he will snuffle and snort a bit, flail his arms and legs around for a few minutes then fall asleep.

You could try putting them down with a dummy, as it sounds like your DS likes to suck to sleep, or you could try the baby whisperer technique of shush/pat, where the patting and shushing should help them settle out of your arms- lay them on their side in the cot, swaddling may help, and shush near their ear. We did this with our DD and eventually you can put them down awake and leave them, with no crying involve. If you try a dummy and DS starts waking for it in the night, then I'd recommend stopping it, which we did, as it becomes more hassle than its worth!

I have friends whose babies grew out of bf-ing to sleep, but others who are still having sleep issues at age 2. So its worth you helping them learn to settle themselves.

You have to expect some crying if you change your behaviour as DS will be confused about why. With baby whisperer techniques you don't leave them when they are upset, so they won't feel abandoned. Also if you have a partner, they could try the shush-pat if DS wakes after being put down, as babies can smell the milk on mum but won't associate it with someone else.

This may be controvrsal but I feedmy baby about 11.30 pm, put him in his cot until he wakes for his food about 3.30am then take him to our bed so he sleeps until at least 7am. (Quickly pat him if he looks like waking). Before i did this he woke more often. I tell myself I'm getting him in the habbit of long sleeps. We left him with the grandparents overnight and he did it for them. He's 8 wks.