Exhausted but won't nap - any advice?

[Klaramum]

DD is 10 months old, and it has always been difficult to get her to sleep in the day, but it is now becoming impossible. She NEVER sleeps for more than 40mins at a time, and naps often consist of 10mins of crying followed by 25mins of sleep, again waking up screaming. She is often knackered and I have real trouble keeping her going until nap/bedtime. The only time she is properly refreshed is when she sleeps on long car/train journeys as she will then manage an hour or more.

We have a very good nap routine (10am and 2pm), a good routine for settling her down, and much eye-rubbing/grouchiness/yawning convinces me she is tired.

I really want to get the problem fixed as I think it is affecting her night time sleep - she sleeps through but when she has slept especially badly in the daytime will often wake at 5.30am and will not go back to sleep until she has a boob in her mouth, at which point she falls deeply asleep again.

Please help! She is already a high-maintenance baby and when tired needs constant interaction to prevent melt downs. I'm fed up of not even being able to leave her to occupy herself for 5 mins while I clear up/make a cup of tea.

Hi, your DD sounds like my DS1, what is your naptime routine at the moment?

My DS1 is now nearly 3. At around 9-10 months we actually had to cut his naps down to just 1 a day. B/F him to sleep was the only way I could get him settled and moving him to the cot was really hard. I used to hold him and snuggle with him, but there are times when you just want to be getting on with other things. I couldn't leave my DS1 for 5 mins like you say when he was tired and found my sling invaluable. I have a wrap sling and I can still use it now with him occassionaly, he sits on my hip and it wraps round him, works brillantly, it has saved the day especially with DS2.

Is anything new happening in your life at the moment? Our babies can be sensitive to the smallest things. My DS1 reacts to all sorts of things that our DS2 doesn't even acknowledge, then you say that day sleeping has always been difficult. Looking back I actually believe DS1 just didn't need much sleep and he used to fight it. We couldn't do Controlled crying or anything extreme so we just used to take our cues from him.

err...don't feel like I helped!

Does your pushchair recline far enough back for her to fall asleep on a walk? Helps you keep fit too.

Thanks for the comments. We have just come back from a trip to my parents' house for 2 wks - this could be causing extra stress for sure, but she was getting worse before the trip too.

Re: pushchair and sling. She will sleep in the pushchair but needs 25mins to drop off (too much to look at!) and then must be kept moving or else she wakes up immediately - I got fed up of 1 1/2 hr walks where I couldn't do any errands. I did use a sling for a long while - it was brilliant - but now she won't sleep in it any more. And as she got bigger my knees started to complain!

If there is much eye-rubbing/ yawning etc then your DD could already be over-tired when you try to get her to sleep, which makes it harder for her to fall asleep or stay asleep. waking up screaming is a sign she hasn't had enough sleep.

She also needs about 20 mins wind-down before sleep- do you have a set routine before naps, so she knows what's coming e.g nappy change, into sleeping bag, cuddle, story, 5 mins sitting quietly?