5am baby noises waking toddler

[TeaTeaTea]

My DD is 5 weeks and since birth has made grunting, groaning noises when needing to pass wind or poo. This is worse (or maybe just more noticeable as it's quiet morning) when she does it at 4am/5am.
I was initially told by midwife that it was just her getting used to her bowel sensations but 5 weeks & still doing it, she's not constipated & poops regularly -is EBF.

Due to frequent waking all through the night I took to sleeping downstairs with her (her in moses basket ) on our super comfy sofa -got more sleep and my 2 year slept through. Tonight I decided to come into the spare room (what will be DD room) and sleep but no -bad night had by me, toddler has woken early by the 4/5am grunts and DH now lying on floor of toddlers room to settle him and I'm uncomfortably propped up in a pillow mountain with DD on my chest.

Am I to sleep in the lounge for next 3 months?! (after which plan to have DD in her cot) - cosy as it is, it's not practical.
Feeling exhauted & disheartened.

I don't have any direct experience of having a baby and a toddler, but it seems like this was a tough night for you all. Lots of hugs from me - it will get better! Hopefully someone will be along soon to give you some practical sleeping advice. Xx

Aww thank you Pickle. I managed 40mins sleeping in the pillow mountain with her but my neck and lower back hurt. DD awake and fussing still, I need a wee but not ready to wake everyone just yet! Going to be a tough day and so need to keep my patience with the family today.
The sofa is it tonight I think!

Have you tried white noise in your toddler’s room?

No real advice but just to say in your position i would keep on the sofa (given that it's comfy) for now - ban any overnight guests (unless YOU really want them) and prioritise whatever gets you the most sleep plus leaves you without an overtired toddler to deal with. Re-evaluate in a month if you are still on the sofa! These early days are hard (three year old and two month baby here) but they do change quickly. Good luck

Oh and my baby is the same from 4/5am, restless, doesn't resettle easily (except in my arms) and seems to need a poo/has wind. Our young are a strange design!

Sleeping on the sofa sounds ok until things settle down, nothing lasts forever and you all need your sleep. Things will change given time.

I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but it’s unlikely that the 4/5am grunts etc will last 3 months, everything with babies changes so quickly. If your toddler is waking up generally when the baby cries though then the sofa might be easier until baby starts sleeping a little more.

I would try white nouse to tackle your toddlers light sleeping.

Then a dummy to quieten baby and sooth back into a deeper (quieter) sleep. Grunting means baby is either awake or light sleeping. I would be actively getting baby into a deeper sleep at any grunt or noise.

Thankyou all for your replies. I am on the sofa now, felt better after talking it through with DH and actually worked well this evening when DD felt asleep on my chest and so did I, DH could watch us as he sat next to me watching (quiet) TV.

The white noise only helps to quieten toddler down at bedtime, it just disturbs him more if played in the middle of the night -really not sure why he's waking when previously slept through so well.

Couple of people have mentioned use of a dummy but I'm not keen on idea, guess I might have to consider it.

I didn't realise just how noisy newborns are!! It was like having a little piglet sniffling away in bedroom to begin with. Our little piggy is now 10 weeks and much more quiet and settled at night now (the boy sleeps through!! ) so hopefully things will improve with you all too. Good luck!! X

After I had my second Baby we had problems with them waking the first for a few months on and off as our room was next door. I can remember several nights despairing at a newborn who wouldn't sleep and having a toddler to resettle. But gradually he did get used to the noise and now they are 3&4 and sleep thru each other's noise brilliantly , it's just a case if them getting used to it , which at the mo must seem like a daunting prospect but it will happen. I'm sat here feeding 5 week old DD no 3 as I type and she hasn't woken them yet ( hope I haven't jinxed it now )

Why not run some white noise in your toddlers room overnight, then he won't hear her. You can get ocean/river sounds etc on various apps, we use one called sound sleeper. I remember those grunting/grounding sounds, we even recorded it as were so worried to show the HV. She explained it was because they need a poo but instead of pushing they clench their bum shut, eventually hey work it out!

No advice, but for what it's worth my DS used to make grunting pig/honking goose noises all night long from about 5 weeks...so I know how it is. He stopped around 11 weeks