Refusing to feed before bed

[FindingNormal]

Hi

My baby was born at 33 weeks - is now 5 months actual. She is breastfed apart from her bedtime fed which has been a bottle of my milk since she was about 5 weeks old. We wanted to introduce a Bottle at bedtime as my first fed to sleep until she was 15 months and I stopped bfing and I wanted to get to a point with this one that her dad could do bedtime.

She feeds about 3 hourly during the day. I admit I'm quite stressy about it and so even if she's not giving out hunger cues I'll still offer her boob. For a while now the routine has been feed at 6:30 then in bed between 7-7:30. She does a great job of settling in her crib with a pat and a dummy. She's been waking once in the night for a feed around 3am.

The last week or so she's started to completely refuse her bedtime feed and screams and screams until she's so tired she just goes to bed without having anything. I've tried offering her boob but also not interested so don't think it's just a bottle thing.

This means, depending on her feeding during the day, she might have her last feed at 4pm before going to bed at 7. She has still been waking for a feed except today it got to 3am and she hadn't woken so I've dream fed her as was concerned it'd been such a long time since her last feed.

Anyone got any advice or ideas about what could be going on. This absolutely isn't about trying to get her to sleep through (couldn't find a feeding section on the boards). I'm just worried she isn't having enough milk as she's still tiny.

Is her weight ok?

She was following her curve. I mean she's tiny but she was doing ok. Last had her weighed on Tuesday but this was after only a couple of nights of refusing.

By 6 months (which I know she's not quite yet) feeds get bigger but less frequent. Perhaps this is her way of starting that adjustment.

If she's well fed all day but is now indicating that she's ready to sleep through then I'd tend to not worry.

Do you know how much that last feed was at 4?

Thankyou. I haven't a clue how much she's getting and that does worry me. My first was ebf but fed constantly and was a chunk so never worried about that with her.

She has never fed in long stints- about 10 minutes max but I do have a strong let down so she may be getting quite a bit. I can pump 80ml from one boob in 5 minutes so I always just assumed she'd be getting the same or more from me.

Hmm. I don't know enough about BF to advise really. Someone who knows better will be along soon though OP...I'm sure she's fine though...one night of that behaviour might not even happen again...it could have been a one off. And she'll be ready for some solids in a month which will make things a bit clearer too.x

Thanks mrs - it's been a few nights now

Mine would sometimes do this for a week or so, then totally back to normal. Made me realise that it’s true that EVERYTHING is a phase. I know that doesn’t help much, as it’s worrying at the time. I’d say get her weighed to check she’s not dropping, but you can’t force them to feed, so you might have to just trust her! They normally take what they need.

What are her daytime naps like?

It may well be that she is refusing the feed at bedtime because she's so exhausted and just wants to go to sleep.

I've noticed my very large 4 month old is suddenly going a bit longer between feeds and there are a couple of 4 hour intervals. So she may not be hungry if has big feed at 4pm? By about 4 months all my dc have had a big feed somewhere between 2pm and 3 pm,then a snack (a short feed from one breast maybe) at 5ish to keep them happy for bath, and then a full feed before bed.

Daytime naps are a bit hit and miss but even in a day where she had a good 2 hour nap in the afternoon she didn't want her bedtime feed. She definitely is very tired by bedtime. Surely hunger should wake her in. E night though if she doesn't feed after 4pm! I dream fed her in the night last night and she had loads - just hadn't woken for it.

Thanks perfect but she's tiny and really only about 3 months corrected so I am concerned she's not getting enough

Hooray she had her milk tonight. Husband did bedtime and said she was upset but she calmed down and had a play then took it. Apparently she got upset as soon as she got into the bedroom. Could she just be pissed off it's bedtime ?

Could be that she knows it’s bedtime - mine started to work out that closed curtains meant naptime at 3 months ish.

Have you tried giving the milk before the bedtime routine to see if she takes it?

Think I'll try that tonight gamer. Bedtime routine though is literally pop her in her crib and hold her hand and rub her tummy without the milk! X