My one year old won't let anyone but me put her to bed. Help.

[Highlove]

My lovely 13 month old won't let anyone but me put her to bed or comfort her if she wakes in the night. I am back at work now and can't put off overnights/working late for much longer, so any ideas on how to reasonably gently deal with this?

if DH tries to put her down she basically screams bloody murder. Same if he goes to her when she wakes in the night. She doesn't have milk in the night now but most of the time wakes a few times and needs a quick cuddle.

We tried the whole me going out and leaving them to it thing and it was by all accounts horrific. She howled for over an hour before giving up. (DH cuddling her, leaving her briefly, pacing with her, etc, nothing really settled her until she exhausted herself and passed out.) She's DD2 so makes it a bit trickier as he needs to get DD1 in bed as well, but she gets quite wound up by too much screaming. Stressful all round.

So. Any tips please on how we might gently but reasonably quickly sort this out?

I would go cold turkey, but that might not fit your gentle approach.

The night you left them to it, she did settle. What happened when you came home? Did you settle her the next night? Didn't that just undo the whole point of the previous night?

No answers I'm afraid, but just to say I'm in the same situation with DS2. He's 14 months. It's becoming an issue for me too. Mostly because I'd really like an evening out with friends!

That sounds really tough OP. I wonder if you could try settling her together? So something like you read a story, but she has to sit on DH's lap to hear it? Both go in to her in the night together? I know it sounds exhausting, but maybe it would help her to associate him with settling, not just you?

Whay do you do to settle her Highlove? Assuming it's something you can both do, I'd start doing bedtime and wake ups together and then after she's used to that, and when DH has learnt the subtleties of how you deal with her, then I'd go cold turkey.

I just give her a cuddle, maybe sing a little song, then put her back down. DH does the same - she just doesn't want him.

I think the doing it together thing is a good idea, hadn't thought of that. Is slightly tricky with DD1 but we'll try and find a way. Maybe we do just need to go cold turkey. I just hate the crying.

Bright I'd also like a night out, never mind work!