It's going to be a long one I'm afraid, but I want to give as much info as possible as really hope someone will be able to help.
DS is 9.5months, BF but generally a good eater. His night sleep is generally ok, asleep for 7 usually 1-2 BF during in the night, straight back to sleep and wakes sometimes between 6 and 7. We're starting to have a few more wake ups, but he will resettle for DH with a bit of shushing/singing, also had a couple of nights with DS being awake for an hour or so when he wakes around 1, but am putting this down to teething/nearly crawling/walking/pulling up etc.
Daytime sleep is a struggle. We have blissful days were we read a story downstairs, upstairs for a nursery rhyme, lay him in the cot and with a bit of shushing/singing he'll drift off. Wonderful. I make a note of the timings, do exactly the same the next day and he'll shout, scream and cry at me and generally not go to sleep. I wake him up at 7 every morning for consistency ( if he wakes before I shift nap timings earlier - generally with no success). I haven't been able to rock/cuddle him to sleep for months, although my mum can, so I put that down to him being able to smell milk on me, although it may be granny's iron will.
The issue, apart from a non home napper, is that he's starting nursery as I'm going back to work. I'd hoped (after extensive MN research) that he'd sleep better at nursery, but sadly not! He's done three half days this week, and had one good nap, although has then zonked for an hour - 90 mins when he got home. I've told them the timings that worked and sent a comforter, but it hasn't worked. I know it's early days and a lot to ask when he won't sleep well for me at home.
I don't know what to do, I feel like I've read so much advice, but just as I settle on an approach to try, I find something that puts me off, he'll be teething/poorly or he'll sleep! DH complains about lack of consistency, but during the week if I've tried for an hour it's easier to just put him in the pushchair/go for a drive, otherwise I get too stressed, which he must pick up on.
Thank you if you've got this far! What would you do? Reading back through this I know we need to tackle naps first. I'm thinking gradual retreat, but as he won't sleep on me, I think I'd have to start with him in the cot, and I've been doing that with little success. Also, I need something that will work for nursery, as he's there 3 days a week. Feeling utterly deflated as I should be the expert in my baby and I feel like I'm failing him.