Going backwards! 7mth old

[imisschocolate]

Hi everyone

Feel like I'm going backwards with my now 7mth old dds sleep.

Until 4mths old we had a great routine. She would fall asleep and would go in her basket about 7.30. Would sleep until about 2, feed for 20-30 mins then sleep til 5.30-6.

4mths hit and couldn't get her to sleep at all so started her in her cot with a sleeping bag. (Previously sqaddled)

We eventually managed to ger her to sleep 7.30-10, feed and back down 11-2, feed and back down 3-6 but would be in bed with me. This was a good night.

Now she will only feed to sleep at night and us up after and hour in her cot. We can't get her to self settle, she doesn't need fed when she wakes just settled.

I really don't want to try controlled crying.

We have tried routine eg bath, book, feed, bed but the bath seemed to energise her and we have it worse these nights.

We often end up with her in our bed for tge night but this is not ideal as i need to kick DH out of bed.

Can anyone recommend any methods to teach self settling?

Keep doing what you were doing. I remember the times. It's a growth spurt. DD is probably mastering crawling or learning to stand up, her brain is hyperactive and can't sleep well. Her brain is mastering the skill. She will go through it and go back to her sleeping routine. Mine took a couple of weeks or three. I was ready to give up when they went back to their own self. Could also be teething. Don't despair, she will do it.

1. increase feeds during the day, cluster feeding before night time. Increase solids. When my DAD was ready to be on mostly solids, I swapped her middle of the night bottle for water. She complained for about 3-4 nights, then started to sleep through! I didn't do it until she was 14 months though.

2. make clear night/day divisions. Set a routine that is different from nap times and that clearly introduces the notion of "night". Draw curtains, dim lights, put her pyjamas, etc. The more you do it, the more she'll associate those tasks with night time

3. Introduce a dummy? I had MaM glow in the dark, so she could find them at night by herself. I also had the 360 cup with handles and fresh water, so she could sip water by herself without spillage. You need to clean the parts well every couple of days.

4. routine. This was a must. Set a routine you are comfortable with and stick to it like there's no alternative. Maybe it's patting her back, maybe it's sitting next to her, whatever, but do only what you are ok with doing for the next year. Or put her down, pick her up method. My DD needed to be carried and walked to sleep for 40-45 minutes... As she grew heavier, it was a nightmare. She would also cry those 45 minutes, so it was really exhausting. We decided to put her in the cot and pay her back. She would still cry, but as there was no difference and we were still there, reassuring her, it was better for us. Eventually it was just the hand in her back. Then sitting next to her. Then (at 2yo+) reading and saying I was coming back in a minute. This is still the case 3 years later. My other DC is very different. In a "Sleepyhead" from birth, always put down sleepy after a feed. I went if he was crying but didn't respond on the dot, as I did with DD1, because I usually was still dealing with DD1, so he had to wait a couple of minutes maximum. I used to go in, dish him, say night night and leave. Repeatedly. He slept like a charm from 9 months. We take him to the bedroom, he climbs on his cot, gets his milk and we kiss night night and leave. Very different! What I can say is "start like you plan to continue". And whatever you choose, stick to it at least for a week. They say it takes 1-2 days per month age to get used to a new routine, so 1-2 weeks.

5. download the MyWonderWeeks app, it was under £2 and tells you when to expect growth spurts / unsettlement. I found it incredibly accurate.

6. don't despair. Next year at this time, you'll look back and tell your friends "oh my god, I remember last year, good thing I can now sleep through!" It will happen. Not long now.

7. blackouts. It transformed my DD's sleep

8. tire her out during the day, make sure she wakes up from her nap at least 3h before bedtime. Don't let her be overtired

Good luck!!!

Why do you need to kick your DH out of bed just out of curiosity? I cosleep and we're all the in bed it is a bit of a squish for sure but we manage, no reason for my DH to be chucked put. You will get varying responses for this but for me self settling is developmental and can't be forced. I have a 7mo and I feel your pain, her sleep has really regressed since 4 months too. I keep telling myself it's not forever x

@Larrythecat I love your answer x

Thanks crazycat!
We also co-sleep (ish), the three of us. I have an IKEA cot without one side, mattress used to be at same level as mine, the frames were tied together so it would not move away. It gave us that extra room, yet baby was nearby.

I also had a travel white noise egg (Homemedics), which I left on all night with the wave sound. More to kill DH's snoring than to keep baby asleep lol. But it worked after a week or so and it was nice. I went through lots of rechargeable batteries (every 5 days, but was on 12h every night!), but I actually quite liked it. I miss it now

Crazycat - its simply so i can switch sides to feed lying down and keep DD in middle if bed.

Larrythe cat - will read through your post carefully. Thanks for the suggestions. Re dummy, unfortunately a dummy doesn't work. She chews on them! Won't take a bottle either.

Also seem to have a cat theme with responders!

Ps. Up for 3rd time since 7.30! DH sleeping peacefully. .....

Mine is a dummy and bottle refuser too so I totally feel your pain

I totally missed the cat theme!! I'll blame sleep deprivation!

OP, I didn't think I could feed lying down both sides without moving baby to the other side, but I can! It's a revelation. Say she is on your left: Feed her with left boob. Go back to sleep. Next feed, roll towards her so that you are fully on your left side, leaning inwards towards the bed. Feed with right boob. It helps to put your right arm for balance up on the pillow. I'm not sure if this would work for everyone (very large boobs for example - would that be safe?) but it does for me.

Larry, agree with crazycat. Great response. I am still wondering about blackouts but might try them. I agree with you about walking / rocking, it is much more unsustainable than say, feeding to drowsy and then patting. Or a bit of gentle PUPD.

@imisschocolate can you get a bedguard so DD doesn't have to stay in the middle of the bed? That's what we have. If I've done one side already I lazily (haha) roll her over my chest to the other side x