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Someone please help me, at my wits end.

6 replies

Stacebear · 08/09/2017 00:52

My 8 month old baby will not sleep through the night! I have tried everything, and I've tried leaving him to cry but he's so so persistent, it's scary how stubborn he is. My partner left last week and in that period of time my son got his first cold and had been throwing up all over his bedding and bad diahorrea leaving me up all night for a full week changing bedding and clothes and nappies, and ever since he's been more restless, he's developed this cry that's like a screech??? Is this normal? It's driving me crazy. I've taken him down to the hospital during his worst time and they checked him over and said he was fine, he's been getting pain relief (calpol). He goes down to sleep okay, not a cry out of him, but then two hours later he's squealing and he'll wake up (honestly) between 5 and 22 times a night. It's making me crazy. As if things aren't hard enough I'm early stages of pregnancy- 7 weeks so I'm already exhausted too, dealing with the break down of my relationship and so much uncertainty surrounding my current home and my future, if I could just get one nights sleep I could handle everything so much better.

Any ideas on how to get him to sleep for me? Please. I'm struggling.

OP posts:
Stacebear · 08/09/2017 00:54

I just wanna add as well that I mean he has never slept through the night, just this cold has made him worse for sleeping! But from he was born he has never, ever slept through the night.

OP posts:
Floellabella · 08/09/2017 01:10

I don't have any magic advice for you but it sounds like you're feeling understandably pretty desperate so I wanted to reply. Sorry you're having such a tough time.

Do you have any support from extended family? Could someone take him for a night so you can get a night's sleep? Can you seek advice from a sleep consultant so you can form a clear plan to help him sleep better and then feel confident to stick to it? Who is supporting you more generally re your relationship, pregnancy, housing etc? I think the main thing is for you to try to get friends and family to rally round to help you at this tricky time, and do seek help from your health visitor etc. Good luck xxx

Zvandelle · 08/09/2017 01:18

My daughter never slept through the night - she used to do that limbic jerk thing and wake herself up. Both of us were sick when she was about 8 months old, and in she came! Co sleeping will probably help short term, but then, at some point, you have to break the cycle! My daughter is ten next week, and still finds her way back to my bed sometimes! Sounds like your exhausted though, so that may not be suitable tonight...Steam worked well when my daughter was screechy crying when Ill, soothed her throat, if you think he's still suffering from his cold? I'm so sorry not to be of more help - it sounds like you are having a really difficult time at the moment. Tomorrow, if he naps, take that time for power naps, and have you got anyone to take him for a walk at all? Just give you an hour or so decent sleep? A big hug to you, THIS WILL NOT LAST FOREVER!!! Promise. I know things seem so much more daunting with no sleep. Xxxx

LouJDawe · 08/09/2017 02:42

I was in your situation when my son was 8 months he never slept through I was up all hours. I let him in my bed but I still couldn't sleep as he didn't stop moving. I did controlled crying in the end which isn't for everyone but I was desperate. 6pm when he had been fed, bathed, bottle and story I would kiss him good night put him in his cot a shut the door. I would watch him on my monitor with the sound off and watch him fall asleep it would take up to an hour of screaming for him to fall asleep but after three days it worked. My son is now 15 months and sleeps 7pm-6.30am and never wakes up since I did that at 8 months. Some people don't agree but I felt like a new woman and started to enjoy motherhood. You know your child's cry and mostly it is the get me out of here and give me a cuddle crying. Maybe give it a go? Try and get a good routine in before your new baby that's what made me so desperate x

Grayfig · 08/09/2017 07:27

Stacebear, sorry you're having such an awful time of it. Are you planning to continue with this pregnancy? Have you anyone to talk to about how you feel at the moment?

I would be taking your DC back to a GP and making sure they check in his ears for an ear infection, also taking a urine sample and ruling out a UTI. It would be unusual for a cold to cause such bad vomiting and diarrhoea, though not impossible. Also make sure he is getting extra fluids. If he sounds screechy it could mean he has pain. Please don't leave him to cry at the moment while he's sick, he needs you. I know it's horrible, mine has been sick for ten days and I've spent many nights sat up - you feel crazy after a couple of nights. Once he is well then you can think about ways to get him to sleep - there are people with good ideas on here if you don't want a sleep consultant.

If he is a very persistent personality, leaving him to cry could take forever and may not work at all (and may be very distressing for him, if not harmful). Also please be aware leaving a baby until they fall asleep, even if it takes an hour, is not controlled crying, but known as Cry It Out and might be even more distressing.

p.s. If still vomiting / diarrhoea tonight - try putting 2 layers of waterproof / fitted sheet combo on the cot and then you only have to whip off the top layer if he vomits.

I hope tonight is better for you.

crazycatlady5 · 08/09/2017 09:05

Hi OP, I'm so sorry for the rough time you're having Sad as others have said, do you have some support around you?

The problem is it's quite normal for baby to not sleep through yet. Some do from newborn age, others take a lot longer. Also between 8-10 months there's a sleep regression - so much going on, teething, trying to crawl (or crawling). I would say leaving to cry won't get you very far.

As a previous poster has said, can you cosleep to get through the worst of it? You and baby can snuggle and both get lots more rest. Then once baby is sleeping longer you can encourage independent sleep again. I would suggest going with whatever it takes to survive the worst rather than trying to solve it.

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