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Original poster

Help please dd won't nap and now won't go down to bed :(

24 replies

KatyR · 02/04/2007 20:35

I can't get my 19 week old dd to nap, or if she does its very erratic, somedays she has a good two hour nap in the morning, sometimes she doesn't bother and has half hour cat naps and gets really tired very early 5.30 ish!
Just recently she won't go to bed either I have managed to slide into bfing her to sleep. Now she goes to sleep for 30 minutes at about 7 - 7.30 and then wakes up crying. I don't want to bf her back to sleep, but don't know what else to do - help! Rocking, singing, patting etc don't seem to have any effect whatsoever....

OP posts:
Dior · 02/04/2007 20:40

Message withdrawn

Original poster
KatyR · 02/04/2007 20:45

Its only a problem when she wakes up every 2 hours, I'm shattered!
Got no car at the moment, buggy rides sometimes work, but when I'm really tired the last thing I want to do is go for a 2 hour hike!

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Dior · 02/04/2007 20:47

Message withdrawn

Lact8 · 02/04/2007 20:54

I agree with Dior, if bfeeding gets her back to sleep then do it, for your own sanity!

I did it with DS2 and DD. DS2 now asks to go to bed and DD(15 months) goes to bed after a feed but settles herself off to sleep.

Does she sleep in the pram? I found DD slept better in her pram than in the cot during the day. I think she liked the snug feeling from being strapped in. I also have a fab sleeping bag like cosytoes and she'd be asleep within ten minutes of walking around the block.

She is still very young to have an established routine. Its a proper cliche but they are only this little for such a short time so try to enjoy the evening feeds with your baby while she is still so tiny.

Or get the remote, books, nice chocolate, cup of tea and snuggle up with her

W/regards to getting tired early evening do you think she would stay awake a bit longer by giving her a bath? We've done that in the past to make bedtime a bit later. Takes a couple of days but we managed to move DD to around 7 which is much more acceptable IMO

yomellamoHelly · 02/04/2007 21:07

You don't say what you're doing to get her to nap. Personally I would make sure her room has blackout blinds, that she'd either half-swaddled or in a sleeping bag and that her cot is clear of anything that would distract her from sleeping. I'd also consider whether a dummy would help and maybe a musical lullaby thing. I'd then follow a routine whereby she gets put down to nap, fed and allowed to play at regular intervals (Baby Whisperer or SWMNBN). I'd put her down even if she doesn't seem tired following the same sequence and do PUPD when/if she gets distressed. I'd also make sure that the mid-day sleep is the main one of the day and not allow more than 45 minutes for the first nap in the morning.
I think their sleep patterns also change around the 4-5 months mark FWIW and they also have a growth spurt around then, I think, so regular feeds may sort that out.
7-7:30 also sounds quite late if she hasn't slept during the day. My 15 week old gets more sleep than he reportedly should at 4 1/4 hours a day (sleepy baby) and is still dead on his legs by 5:15. At this age they should be getting around 3 hours I believe. He's in bed by 6:35 at the latest. (His day starts at 7:15.)
If you have some tricks that do get her to sleep for the times you want her to sleep you could also keep repeating those in an environment where she will sleep (No Cry Solution may be a good read) so that at least she doesn't lose the habit of sleeping at those times in the hope that with time she'll gradually drop the amount of intervention she requires from you.
One last thought is have you ruled out that it's anything to do with teething.

Original poster
KatyR · 02/04/2007 21:10

Hi L yes I drag out bedtime until 7 ish by bathing, etc!
OK will stop obsessing over it then, it annoys me all these books / people with perfect babies who sleep through etc! But you are right she is still teeny and i do enjoy the last evening feed (funny bf was so nightmareish to start with i never imagined myself saying that!!) so will just keep doing it and stop worrying.
Will try pushchair napping, she is tired at about 11am and 2,30pm ish but rarely gives in and sleeps, so maybe this will help.
Thank you for advising, it really helps

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Lact8 · 02/04/2007 21:29

KatyR, that's the attitude girl! I always find as soon as I accept that's how the situation is I can cope with it, fighting to change it to how I think it should be is what usually causes me problems (If that made any sense at all?!)

Is DD your only child or do you have others to look after during the day? Will she nap with you? If she would it'd be a good way for you to catch up on some rest too.

MrsApron · 02/04/2007 21:32

hmm the prob with dragging ou the bedtime if she is already tired is that she is probably too tired to have a decent feed, suckles to sleep blissfully then half an hour later is starving.

I would feed her.

Feeding to sleep is fine btw it drifts off as they get older.

Original poster
KatyR · 02/04/2007 21:38

Ooh I'm loving all this nap with her advice, I could it would be bliss!
Mrs Apron, you have a good point there, I will try and put her to bed when she shows signs of tiredness for the next few days and see what happens...
Yo, thanks for views and ideas, have read NCSS and can't achieve the Pantley Pull off for love nor money!

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Lact8 · 02/04/2007 21:49

Thought you were giving a shout when you said Yo and then realised that you meant yomellamoHelly

Original poster
KatyR · 02/04/2007 21:57

Lact8 I'm not that cool (or 80's?!) to say yo!! Tee hee

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Lact8 · 02/04/2007 22:00

And wtf is the Pantley Pull??

Original poster
KatyR · 02/04/2007 22:11

It sounds a little wrong! Its in The No Cry Sleep Solution book, which I liked the idea of but am finding hard to put into practice.
It is a gradual process of not getting baby to fall asleep with nipple in mouth - you pull it off!! (although she doesn't advocate actual pulling!OUCH!) The thinking is baby learns gradually to fall asleep by itself. But my baby lets me take nipple out, then roots around madly and wakes herself back up again, over and over again, so I gave up!

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MrsApron · 02/04/2007 22:15

oh god far too wee for the pull off. I read that back with dd1 and she would not cooperate (or I was bored with trying too quickly)

DD2 on the other hand quite often prefers to be rocked/left alone/pushchiar to sleep so i think it just doesn't work for all babies.

Can I just post an anti routine post?

Considering how fast babies develop and change in the first year how can it make sense to get them in a routine when they are different from one week to the next.

I stressed all over the place about dd1 and it was crap.

DD2 i just feed,change nap play etc as and when required and you know what? She is a v happy baby. Who gets up btween 7 and 8 and goes to bed between 6.30 and 7.30. she has two or three naps a day and i have no idea how often she feeds.

Lact8 · 02/04/2007 22:17

Pah! Sounds like too much trouble to me, but then I think I fall into the lazy category of parenting

Are you wanting your DD to nap because she is tired and grouchy or because you think she should need a sleep?
DS2 would go for 2 hours every day. DD would only have half an hour which did my head in because I wanted a chance to spend some time with DS2 and maybe brush my hair and tackle some washing

GuernseyCow · 02/04/2007 22:20

KatyR, I'm equally mystified when I see friends with babies who simply go down for a nap as soon as they start to look tired. DD1 (16 weeks) has always fought sleep during the day and will only nap if bf to sleep or if she is shattered enough to fall asleep in the pram or sling. I've just accepted that she is an alert baby who finds the world too interesting to nap . If you can find anything that works for you (e.g. feeding to sleep) I would just go with it and not worry about future problems; your sleep and hers are too important. Incidentally, how long are you waiting at night before you put DD down? My DD takes at least an hour from the start of her feed to go down properly at night, and if I try to get her down more quickly she wakes easily from a light sleep. Good luck!

Original poster
KatyR · 02/04/2007 22:27

MrsA - You are right, sod it, I'll go with the flow, I don't agree with routines as what works for one doesn't for another etc.
Lact8 - you sound a lot like me!! Only wanting her to nap as she is rubbing her eyes all tired and grouchy, not cos I am following a routine or anything mental! I am far too unorganised for that.
GC- your dd sounds a lot like mine. If I try and rush the last feed she won't settle properly and I'm back there after half an hour doing it properly (a bit like being called into detention I reckon!). Half hour naps are a nightmare when trying to do household stuff. My hallway hasn't been hoovered for weeks and is very messy! She also has a fork near mouth radar, as I sit down to lunch/dinner she starts to wail!
I guess I am happy cos I just wanted to know others do the go with the flow technique and are happy with it. Maybe feeling a bit wibbly after no sleep last night, is an 19 week growth spurt normal?! She doesn't normally feed every 2 hours in the night...

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MrsApron · 02/04/2007 22:31

there is a beast of a growth spurt about that age goes on a bit. It is why some wean early. grit your teeth and it will pass.

Far easier bfeeding than bloomin crawling about wiping up highchairs and floors three times a day.(wistful emoticon) DD2 is 7 months btw.

Original poster
KatyR · 02/04/2007 22:33

Yes I am resisting I don't think she needs weaning. People keep saying oh she'll sleep through if you do, but I truely don't think she needs solids yet. Plus I am lazy and I have prewarmed portable baby food on me at all times!

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Lact8 · 02/04/2007 22:37

I'd go with growth spurt. Or teeth. Or she just loves you and thinks you're fab and that you will be well chuffed to see her every 2 hours!

Really should go to bed now. Will shout DP to come and take laptop off me, I have no will power when it comes to MN!

Hope things are easier for you tonight x

MrsApron · 02/04/2007 22:37

tis utter bollocks about sleeping through. Most babies get more unsettled when solids first start.

my dd1 first slept through at 17 months. I lied about to casual askers for months to avoid a whole load of dull advice full of techniques i would never ever use.

well done for resisting.

Lact8 · 02/04/2007 22:41

LOL at deep breath Mrs Apron.

Notice I refer to DS2 and DD's sleeping habits but no mention of DS1's? There is a good reason for that

I think a lot of whether a baby sleeps through is down to luck not what the parents are doing

Lact8 · 02/04/2007 22:41

And DP hasn't taken laptop off me yet!

Original poster
KatyR · 02/04/2007 22:44

He he go to bed I am refreshing as its great to talk to some people who are in the same boat, and sane and happy with their desisions......
......but I am so tired and will go to bed now too!
Thanks a lot for advice and sleep well x

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