Night time settling without feeding

[Sparrowlegs248]

Ds2 is almost 7 months. He is breastfed with a bedtime formula bottle which my husband gives him. He either falls to sleep on the bottle or in his burping position (over shoulder) I had been giving him a dummy after the bottle and cuddling, with a view to putting down less asleep etc but husband does it differently.

He had been sleeping from 8-3/4 which was fabulous (this was once his reflux was under control) then started waking 12/1 and now is very restless a lot of the night.

This evening he took 6Oz formula at 7.15. Woke an hour later, I did feed him as was in the middle of cooking and it was the quickest way. Then woke again at 10.30. Tried ten minutes to settle without feeding, then fed. Woke again at 12. Have not fed, still not properly asleep.

He rolls back and forth, rubbing eyes/face (knocking dummy out) gets on hands and knees, rocks, etc.

As soon as he started I popped dummy in and put a hand on him. I picked up to cuddle, fights against it pushing against me. Cuddled into cot with him, he scratches face, pulls hair, grabs at vest straps, rocks back and forth.

I've picked him up again, and he's falling asleep now.

I really want to resettle him without feeding every hour or two. Equally I picked him up just now as he started shouting and I don't want the toddler to wake as he'd never go back to sleep.

I am happy to cosleep, and am currently thinking if I'd just fed him he'd have been asleep 40 minutes ago. But actually he is still very restless, often keeping me awake even when he's not awake. And he's at it again now

He started really loud moaning, and I've given in and fed him. He does seem to be feeding properly rather than just comfort.

How on earth can he be hungry?

Most nights I'm spending a minimum of two hours awake, as he's very restless around 3-5am and that's not including the many other times he wakes, or wakes me up.

Is there a particular reason you're not wanting to feed him in the night? 7 months is still really young to think about night weaning and boobs are magic for getting babies back to sleep quickly! Is it not much easier to do that and look st night weaning in a few more months? X

I would also say cutting nightfeeds won't stop the middle of the night party at all, might make it worse. It doesn't last forever but it is hard. Can you go to bed a little earlier just to ride the storm a little? My 7 month old cluster fed ALL night last night, I am so tired but I know she is teething at the moment and trying to crawl and all sorts. Far to lazy to do anything but feed her back to sleep while I doze

He may well be learning to crawl and that's why he's up in the night or teething?
It doesn't mean it will happen forever, when babies are learning a new skill they wake more in the night sometimes

Oh don't get me wrong I'm happy to feed him, I fed his brother til he was 19 months and only had one week off before baby was born! I just feel that he's waking to comfort suckle back to sleep, so not all the feeds are feeds iyswim

I'm pretty soft when it comes to this stuff, and was just wondering if there's a better way but probably will just keep at it. It's not forever.

Although last night was MUCH better after the 12-1 awake time. Woke at 4 and 6.30.

That's brilliant! I love how you can randomly have a good day, it give us all hope

My DD does this when she is teething. Last night she wanted feeding every 2hrs . But the last two times this has happened for a couple of nights and then a tooth pops through. I can see the next one ready so I'm hoping by Tuesday it will have broken through!

gets on hands and knees, rocks, etc.

That's what it'll be. This rocking on all-fours thing they do when learning to crawl. I think this, and when learning to pull to standing, are the hardest work sleep phases.

Baby may need a bit of help to learn that in order to go to sleep it is necessary for him to be stil, because he can't go to sleep otherwise. All the scratching, clawing, crying, arching and screaming that comes with it is basically anger/frustration at not being able to get to sleep. These are secondary problems to the primary cause which is the rocking on all-fours and getting up and down.

I dealt with this phase (and the later pulling up to standing phase) by replying the baby version of rapid return. Staying next to cot as baby goes to sleep, I would repeatedly keep relying baby back down, hand on chest for stillness. Any squirming against my hand and I'd lift baby very slightly (just a few cm off the cot) and immediately re-lie-down and resettle with hand on chest. Repeat at every squirm or movement until baby learns to be still in the cot and go to sleep. All done with dummy, so without any screaming.

I've just re-read your op to see if I missed anything and I notice that you are not putying baby in the cot awake. That might make the resettling in the cot more difficult. If it was me, I'd be doing in-cot settling from awake by now. Staying by the cot for touch-reassurance and dummy reinserts.

Not going to sleep in the cot will probably start adding to problems, if I'm honest.

I do want to start the bedtime, I tried last week and an hour and half later he was still rolling round the cot awake. I'm torn between ease for now, and ease for the long term. And the same old thing of not wanting to wake ds1 up!

I've still got the side off the cot with it level with the bed for easier overnight but means I can't leave him. He sleeps in the sleepyhead downstairs.

He's been rocking for two months.

Nottalotta I haven't got anything new to add but have been doing as FATE had advised and my DS is getting the hang of it. I just keep laying him back down and repeat "lay still it's sleepy time" He is much calmer and we don't have any crying.

DSs cot is up against our bed with the side off but his mattress is at the lowest setting so there's about 2in difference in our mattress heights. I settle DS in his cot and only when he is fully asleep do I leave him with a video monitor going. Then as soon as I see him moving I go to the top of the stairs. He either resettles and I go back downstairs or starts moving about more, in which case I'm right outside the door. Might seems like a pain to be watching the monitor but means DS gets used to settling in his cot and I get some quiet time downstairs

You could think about putting the side back on the cot now? Keeping it next to your bed. On your good night's with sleeping to 3/4am that wouldn't be too bad. It means you can put to bed at 8pm ish (or whatever) and leave him there.

Once he's crawlling and sitting the base will have to be lowered any way, or he could topple over the sides of the cot.

He's not having those sorts of good night's, they seem to be long gone! I was hoping that having the side off and the cot on the mid setting would make it easier for feeding and settling. I could lower the base I guess. I think if I left him to it with some patting etc he'd eventually nod off but risk waking Ds1 in the process, nor with crying but he gets very shouty when tired or hungry.