Desperate for sleep help!

[emmabrown123]

DS turned one last month, he's always been a crap sleeper but I've just rolled with it in the hope that one day it'll improve. Now, however, I've just gone back to work. I have an hours drive to and from work so ends up being quite a long day. I'm finding on my drive home I'm so tired I'm having to pull over because I don't feel safe driving. I don't think I can carry on like this.

He's a good eater, naps once a day, has plenty of cows milk in the day, still has at least one BF a night which used to settle him back to sleep but this has now stopped working.

Last night he went down at 8pm, woke at 11pm and was awake until 3.30am - crying, thrashing, fussing etc etc. Then he got up at 5am for the day. I seem to be able to settle and comfort him fine in the day but it is literally impossible at night. If I pick him up he cries, if I put him down he cries, of I put him in our bed he cries, if I leave him he cries till he's sick.

I'm considering putting him to bed later in the hope I'll get an hour or so before he wakes. Or just putting a bed for me in his room so I'm closer and can settle him before he starts.

He's perfectly happy and jolly in the day. Not poorly, not teething as far as I know.

I'm at a loss and I'm so so so tired...

Going back to sharing a room sounds like a good idea to get you both more sleep. Either by bringing the cot into your room or setting yourself a bed up in baby's room.

If you are moving into baby's room though, make yourself a good quality sleeping space though, not make-do. But a good quality single mattress (you'll ultimately need one when he's oldet) and a bed base if possible. Proper needing for yourself in there - so you can be comfortable and sleep well. Personally, I'd rather stay in my own bed and bring the baby's cot into my room. That's more comfortable for me.

Does baby have a comforter object? If not, start the bonding process with one. Every time you snuggle, cuddle or feed. Every occasion you are being loving and comforting to DS, do a repetitive movement with the comforter. It's to make that association of the comforter with the comforter feeling.

Once established with a comforter object, I'd night wean. I suspect night weaning will be pivotal to night wakes.

Also look at his daytime sleep. Chances are he needs more sleep, not less.

Apart from all that, to be very frank and honest with you, being completely shattered is part and parcel of life as a working mum with preschoolers I am afraid. It just is an exhausting life for most.

Thank you, this helps.

We've never had a comforter so that's definitely worth a try, will get on that today. Looking for a comfortable fold out bed to put in his room, we don't have room for his cot in our room, and he's a nightmare in our bed!!!

I have a 3 year old as well and I feel sad that he's probably not getting the best of me at the moment because I'm always so tired.

As for the night feeds - he can have from 1-4 a night - surely that's for comfort? Can imagine he's hungry after the amount he eats in a day!!

As for the night feeds - he can have from 1-4 a night - surely that's for comfort?

Im almost certain all of the night feeds are for comfort not calories.

Your problem is in the fact that they are comfort feeds. If it was just hunger then that's quite easily solved by getting more food into the child in the day. It's not hunger though, it's that baby wants comfort. And comfort is much more difficult to solve.

You can't just go not giving comfort to a toddler, so it becomes about finding alternate comfort that isn't feeding - ideally something the child can do for themself. Then you replace one with the other. That's why I mentioned the comforter object.

We have implemented 'Charles the bear' which is like a bear with a small blanket attached today. He's cuddling it with me every time he has a feed or even just a cuddle. He used to have a dummy but started refusing this around 8 months.

I think one of our big problems is that we've never ever tried to let him self settle as we've always been to worried about him waking his brother (he never does!!)

I've also got rid of the nursing chair in his room and ordered a good quality fold up bed to replace it.

Thanks FATEdestiny you talk a lot of sense and that's what I need in my tired befuddled haze. Fingers crossed xx