Normal? What is the norm?

[Lemt2606]

Hello I am a FTM so feel very clueless and like everyday I'm just winging it.

My LO is not a good sleeper. When she first came home she would not sleep in her moses basket but then suddenly was fine and would sleep in it for 2 - 4 hour stints. But then just over two weeks ago that stopped. She won't sleep anywhere but on us or in our arms. She's 9 weeks old. I'm still a loss of what to do. We have tried swaddling but she fights it til she is hysterical and all hot. We have a Ewan but it doesn't seem to do much. We don't immediately go to her when crying. It's just as soon as she is placed down into whatever place to sleep she is awake. Like a reverse doll which eyes open when placed down rather then picked up haha. Plus you get the feeling everyone else's babies is sleeping through :(

We have been told she is too young to sleep train?

I have had the odd nughg of sobbing as feel a terrible mother so I just wanted some reassurance this is normal or a phase. Some tips or any words of wisdom.

Oh mama it is hard but it is normal - look up the 4th trimester. She is so tiny still and was not long ago all cosy in your tummy - being rocked to sleep, fed on demand, listening to your heartbeat 24/7. It's not for everyone but I started co sleeping and gradually I could move her further and further away into her own bedside cot, although I still cosleep for part of the night at 7 months. She just wants to be near you. She is also definitely very young to consider sleep training. When she cries she is signalling to you that she needs you x

Lemt2606 - baby not being keen on being put down is normal.

That does not mean that holding baby for naps is the only no-crying answer. There are lots of tips and tricks parents use to help baby be put down for naps. These generally require more effort.

The unrealistic expectations that many new mums have before they face the realities of parenthood is that they will 'just be able to put baby down to sleep'. That is certainly possible, but there is a lot more to it than that.

So the basics - feed, feed, feed. A hungry baby will never go to sleep easily. Baby needs lots of calories throughout the day (and night). Big feeds given frequently.

Secondly - limit awake time to 1h. An over tired baby finds it harder to go to sleep and stay asleep because of the release of hormones like cortisol and adrenaline to give a 'wired, wide awake' feeling not conducive to go to sleep. So naps need to be nice and frequent. If I'm an over tired cycle work on the basis of "any sleep, any how" (so hold to sleep or whatever) until not over tired.

Then it comes down to the subtlety of independant sleep. None of this will work if baby is not getting enough calories or sleep over 24h.

Try dummy and bouncy chair. Put just fed and winded baby in there awake.

The movement wants to be rhythmic and relentless. I recommend sitting on sofa with bouncer at your feet, bouncing with your foot.

The dummy stops the crying. Essential if you want to do this in a way that doesn't have baby crying. You'll get crying without it.

Make napping not optional. So be relentless and non-stop about it. Bounce, Bounce, Bounce, dummy reinsert as needed and keep going.