Where to go with sleep problems

[Sevendaysinaweek]

I won't go into the details as I have done several times on these boards.

To summarise, my five year old's bedtime and nighttime sleep are massive issues in our lives, and I need help. We had a private sleep consultant when she was three which clearly hasn't helped in the long term.

I have other concerns about her behaviour including hyperactivity and extreme sensitivity and attachment to me - although I suppose these could be related to sleep deprivation.

What I don't need is a lecture on bedtime routines, rapid return etc because whatever is in the books / NHS websites, we do it already, consistently, calmly etc. The fact of the matter is that she is scared and she will not sleep alone, and that's what I need to discuss with someone.

Any advice please? I see I've gone into quite a lot of detail after all..

Sorry that wasn't terribly clear - I'm looking for advice on where to go with this. GP? Health visitor? Thank you

Sounds terrible stressful for you - I think I've seen one of your previous posts. I would go to the GP, as I reckon the HV might just try to fob you off with more sleep training advice. GP might like to run some tests or refer you to a paediatrician. Good luck I really hope you find some help x

Thanks crazycatlady. It actually means a lot just reading your response. Feeling a bit emotional at the moment.

Who would have thought that sleep issues could persist to this extent past the baby years. DH and I are shattered and this is probably one of the reasons it looks like we will stick to having 2 DC, when we always thought we might have three. Quite sad to think what an impact it is having. Thank you. GP it is.

I remember your story op.

Health Visitors only support under 5s, so you would now need to go to your GP about this, and seek a referral.

Do you have any additional needs diagnosis? This might stand you in a better position to get a proper referal. I would be pushing for autism-type tests (forgive my ignorance, I have no experience in the field) and some carer support for yourself.

Thank you FATE. No additional needs diagnosed and to be honest just from reading about ASD and ADHD online nothing seems to quite fit. But I do know that that is hugely oversimplifying things and each child with these conditions is different. I'm still hoping that if we could get sleep sorted that other behaviour would improve too.

School, incidentally, have raised no concerns as she is doing well academically and beyond needing to sit in the front at carpet time to stop her getting distracted, behaviour at school seems fine too.

I think I'll make a GP appointment in her name but maybe won't bring her as probably not helpful for her to hear me raise some of these issues.

Could it be that she is just a very needy child? I was very very shy (not sure if your little one is) and relied on my mum for pretty much everything when I was little. I remember I had nightmares about her leaving and all sorts of horrible stuff - was just very very attached to her. It's fine now and I'm 33 and we have a healthy relationship! Haha. Not making fun of your situ just hoping to throw some light on the situation is it mainly an attachment thing? Or lots to do with the hyperactivity? I'm sure you'll find a solution and something will help xx

Haha that's good to read cracycatlady! I'm feeling slightly better about it all now after a very welcome good night's sleep.

It's very hard to define DD's 'needs' really, she is not at all shy at school or with friends, in fact quite confident. Her attachment to me feels more like a control thing, almost like being a bit possessive, particularly in 'competition' with her younger sibling. But at the same time she is also quite anxious / prone to imagining the worst outcome of a situation so I do think there is a genuine need for reassurance there too. She's a complicated little thing!

I'm a brownie leader and one of our Brownies is quite similar to yours op, just older, she's 8.

I've been on Brownie Pack Holiday (where we take the girls away for the weekend) with her twice. So I've had some lengthy discussions with her Mum about her sleep issues.

She has had really great success by getting melatonin prescribed. It's the protein the body makes in response to being in natural daylight so control the body feeling tired at the end of the day. The doctor suggest a this LG has low natural melatonin, so she just doesn't get any signals from her body to be tired. Therefore without the oerscription she just cannot relax enough to sleep - which in turn makes her feel distressed that she's alone in the night, distressed, frustrated, misunderstood etc.

I don't know if that helps, but speaking to the doctor may well help find a solution.

Thank you.

I've booked an appointment and will see what they say. Is it odd to go without DD? My instinct is that it is better if she is not there but I'm not sure if a GP would expect to talk to her / examine her.